What is my SIL greatness? Am I unable to understand anything?

I too agree with the above posters here. You seems to give soooo much importance to your sil. Why dear? There is so much to life than competitive sister in laws and jealous mother in laws!! Infact I feel your husband is the real problem. Doing unnecessary comparisons between his sister and wife and telling hurtful words to the wife.Next time, when he do this tell him, he should have told this to you before marriage as a requirement that he wants the qualities of his sister in the future wife. He didnt do it and now you are stuck with him!! Say it to the point. Let him know this comparisons are really annoying and hurting you to the point of affecting your married life!!

Then your sils boasting nature. Leave it dear. Some people do it, may be for their own self confidence. Smile it and leave it. Best wishes

 

@SGBV,

Based on most of the posts I read here sounded like that op has gone through emotional torture from husband and Sil.
Sil had a abusive husband and op husband feels favor by not hittng her. SIL has great influence on her family life.
Asking to take 2 week maternity leave is horrible and sil seem to have hand in all suggesting brother not to help pregnant wife because her husband don't help her .Do u expect op to like Sil.

When she said hours of self boasting is not same as being confident.

Op in my opinion the reason might be Sil and ur husband might be feeling u will look down on her so they continue to boast infront of u

My.opinion ignore her and even stop giving any respect.

 

You kept saying self boasting, what does she boast about

 

Op, instead of thinking about all these, enjoy your life . Dont strain yourself just because you are compared . It is our life . I dont think there is any need for you to participate in this competition .
You are doing a great job by having a great career , managing kids , housework . Start some hobby and enjoy like going yoga class, movies etc . When they compare and let you down just say to them 'life is not about comparing . each one is unique'. Dont take their words to your heart

 

The thing is you are just revising your past with your SIL so much that you are always predicting what you DH will tell you in future. In this constant amrit manthan you are forgetting to live in present dear.

You have 2 beautiful kids, a job, a house feel good about it. When we think too much about some person's negativity we start to feel anxious and that is what you are feeling right now. There is no way you can change you SIL or your DH, then just leave it at that. I know it hurts but whenever SIL or DH start praising say yes wow she is so strong and just join in that praise. When SIL visits be like you just admire her and when she goes forget about those days.

You have your own life to take care about, don't let your mind wander here and there for people who don't care. Be practical and be happy.

I must say you are one strong woman who is tolerating all this nonsense. But now its time to move on. Just be in your present, you are spoiling your present right now. Best of luck and you can do it.

 

Who asked the OP to like her SIL?
If SIL or any outsider has an influence in her personal/family life, then it means the OP has no control over her life.
If it is the case for a newly married, it is understandable. But after 11 yrs with 2 kids in a settled job, OP shouldn't feel bitter about her SIL for the problems. It has got so much to do with her HUSBAND.

Whatever the problems that the OP has described above are the problems between a H and W.
A husband who compares wife to someone else
A husband who feels his wife is blessed because she is not physically abused
A husband who plans and implements things at his home without discussing anything with his wife.

Her SIL may be a strong influence to her husband. He may treat her as a God of women. But it is his problem.
Even if they boast, it is their problem. The people who hear them self boasting have to decide what to do with them.
If their self boasting is somewhat true... others can imitate them
If their self boasting is nothing but their superiority, then others can ignore them.

But feeling bitter for someone, and losing their own peace despite of having a reasonable good life is something I can't ever encourage.

 

@ SGBV completely disagree with you.
There are so many threads in Inlaws section on how the inlaws influence the husbands and the wives are suffering. I think the OP case is same.
Not sure why you want to defend her SIL so much.

All the best OP. enjoy your life.

 

Give me a break Dear OP. From what you have written, I feel more sympathy for your SIL than you. Look at her life. She is in such a sorry state, in so much confusion, does she have a real life? Someday I am sure she will realize she has to call it a day and set her life straight. So much of drama in her life. I wonder how she will deal with her kids and her new husband. Whatever you are saying is something that all husbands do. Comparing with the females in their group is not unusual. If you give it that much importance, you will definitely have problems. It is all up to you - to take it in your stead and just ignore the whole thing or make it an issue and make a big problem out of it. If you start seeing every issue through a lens, then they will look big. Your husband may be praising her in front of you, but it is obvious you are his priority not her. So why are you cribbing? Cut him some slack and carry on. As long as he is not getting abusive or misbehaving with you, you should ignore it.