What Happens When You Are Not Well?

Just becoz he asks u r not going to bcome alright immediately. Take rest, sleep dont stress...

 

Your DH is definitely being inconsiderate. But considering the issues you both have,his cold behavior doesn't come as a surprise.So if you want him to be more considerate,then the only way is to strengthen the bond between you both.You need to figure out how you are going to do this..Else you need to just live this person irrespective of his attitude.

 

You have not mentioned your age or what kind of health issue you have or for how long.
Not all men are alike. Some men are very expressive and show that they care and some don't. Some of them don't like women cribbing always about pain unless a serious health issue. Your husband might be one of them. Nevertheless, we are all adults and god has given us the strength to take care of ourselves. Try not to expect anything from him. If he is being insensitive, expecting from him will only add on to your stress and make you feel worse.
Instead, try to find out the reason of your ill health, consult a good doctor follow their advice. Believe me not every healthy woman has a husband who is taking care of her. It is all in our mind.
If they are their listen to your owes, then consider yourself lucky...If they are turning deaf ears then let them go to hell....
You take care and enjoy your life

 

OP,

Hmmm, nothing new. First of all, my DH won't know how to react if I am sick? The best, he can do, order food from outside! I noticed that my DH would go on silent mode, till I am back to normal and leaves me alone (or he knows, I bite his head off).

Don't expect too much from DH, you will be disappointed looking for sympathy. It is your health and you kids need you, take care of yourself.

Think yourself as lucky, you have money/education/insurance to reach out to doctors and hospitals. Not like our grandma, not help to see the doctors/hospital.

If I am sad/upset, my son (young adult) would call to check on me, how am I doing, and chat with me till I laugh. It is the human nature, the wonder of blood relationship.

It's not fair to compare parents and child's bonding against someone else!

 

Good.you took charge of urself.

 

never mind.

 

There are several reasons behind this kind of inconsiderate behavior from a husband.

1) He is inconsiderate, and has no love/affection for you
2) He thinks that you are acting to gain his love/sympathy. Either he thinks like this or he is made to think this way by someone else
3) He is having a tough time with you. Due to this, he may feel emotionally distanced from you
4) He generally has no empathy; hence it is hard for him to understand other's pain
5) All of the above.

Looks like, your H is inconsiderate towards you, and has no empathy on your sickness. It is because his constant crisis with you over several issues concerning to his folks.
These repeated issues definitely distance you both physically and emotionally.
This is not at all a good sign to progress in a marriage, specially when it comes to young parents like you both.

My H was like this for a while. He was utterly insensitive to my pains and sickness when we were newly married.
We had all the above reasons to be emotionally distanced from each other, despite of our love marriage.

At that point, I made an important decision about my future. Because I could no longer survive in a loveless marriage for the sake of it. I knew that I was giving wrong message to my kids, just like how my MIL did to her kids. It is serious, and I never wanted that to repeat.

I had 2 options then.

1) To accept my H as who he is, and adjust to my life style accordingly. I knew that I could change him once I establish a happy marriage with him

2) To leave him, and find my own happiness without all these stress and unhappiness surrounded by this marriage.

I opted for the first option, and accepted my H as who he is. He had loads of shortcomings to qualify as a best husband. He was not like my bro or BIL.
But he had good qualities too.
I embraced the good ones by overlooking the bad ones.
Soon, our life changed, and we bonded so well as a family.
This smooth family life gave me a platform to educate my husband little by little to bring some positive change in his behavior.
It was not easy, but the transition was smooth and positive.
Within 5 years, everything has changed. Once my bad husband is now a great husband with loads of love and affection.
Last time I heard from my co-sis, that MIL was saying her son - my H has changed, and now henpecked. Who cares!
If showing affection and love to your wife means henpecked, then let it be. I am proud anyway!!!

In your case, your H's constant financial support to his folks is your main problem. He is wrong, period.
But he is wired this way. Any attempt to prove him wrong will backfire.
He is mentally not prepared to hear your suggestions, even though he knows he is wrong.
So, these kind of hiccups can further distance you emotionally. When you both feel bitter about each other, it is hard to make decisions or plans together as family.
This is where your enemies (in your case, your SILs) interfere in to your family matters, as if they care for you.
They will fuel the fire and further distance you both.
At this point, your H would want to listen to someone who supports his decisions. So, his folks are prioritized.

If you need to work this marriage, you definitely need to be tactful. I leaned this through hard way only.

Be patient. Accept the fact that your H will support his sister regardless of your opinion. If you say YES, he will send money directly so that you know what is happening. If you say NO, he will send money through some other indirect source. If not now, may be sometimes later during some other occasion. Because he will be forced to feel guilt for not sending money this time. Also, he will be forced to feel responsible when his sister needs money the next time. Either way, it is unavoidable expense from your part.

But what you gain by saying NO... Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
But you lose your respect, you lose your comfort at home, you lose love and affection and a happy marriage life together with money.

But you can gain so much by saying YES this time. It doesn't mean you will have to say YES all the time. Just this time, or may be the next few times until you control over your marriage.
Your H will see you positively. Your H will value you more. Your H will erase all the negativeness he has on you little by little. You both can spare some hiccups and fights due to this, thus your marriage can improve. You both can sit and speak relaxely on other subjects without having to fight.
This way, you will definitely lose some money. But that money can buy some happiness and bonding.

In a long run, if there is a strong bond you can control over your marriage. You can make your H see your points, and financial needs of the family.
You can make him fund to the family's needs and investments, so that he will have very little to spend on others.

It takes a long time. But you really have to start right now.

Not everyone can be patient like this, and not everyone values their marriage high to invest such a good money and patience to get happiness.

In that case, being self dependent is the only way out.
Try to be self dependent. Soon you will find happiness in that.
Separation helps when bonding has no meaning in your marriage.

Make a wise decision!!!