What do you think about your MIL/FIL??

Re: MIL is an Angel or Devil?

Halo Meharnisa
The shock treatment was nothing great. My MIL always feels in a corner (though she doesnt say) that she might be left alone when two other people get together. And we used this to our advantage. It doesnt work for others though it worked out for my MIL.
I and my co-sister used to get up in the morning and do some house-hold chores, but will talk only once in the morning to her and ll not talk to her the whole day. I ll just ask some question like shall I boil milk and my MIL would answer it. That's all... My co-sister too did that. And we spent some time working in the house and when we are free me and my co-sister used to sit near her child and talk in a very slow voice so that only both of us can hear ( of course sometimes about my MIL too) and my MIL has watched this many times. She felt that we are talking only about her and felt very bad.
And we kept on continuing that for sometime. And as she doesnt have a daughter to share these things with, she felt very bad. And my co-sister left abroad and I went to stay with my parents. of course my husband came there every evening after work. He wud go to his parent's every morning and get ready and go to work and in the evening he wud come to my house. This continued for sometime and my MIL and FIL were bothered.
Then they asked their son to take me home and I went there. My MIL is a weak minded personality and thus a little thing wud upset her sometimes. ANd this is our advantage.
But she had some devil characters too which were soon outwitted in due course by me.
And now she behaves well. She's always afraid that she might be left out in a crowd or when two others get along.
I dont think this ll work for anyone else. But some DILs can give a try.

 

Re: MIL is an Angel or Devil?

Hi,

Found your replies quite interesting.
Happy for ladies who called their MILs as angels.
You have done great penance to get angel MILs!!

And felt sad for those who have got Devil MILs.
But ladies, do not lose hope and stand by your honest points and confront them. As long as your DHs support you all, you can care a damn about their faults.

Also thanks for the useful link.Got some valid points for myself.
How to be a Great Daughter in Law: Building a Good Relationship With Your Husband's Mother

Now about my MIL

My MIL is neither a devil nor an angel.
She actually is like any normal human being having her plusses n minuses

There were moments when I felt bowled over by her help n support.
Also there were moments , when I felt very hurt by her actions and words.
She sways between the extremes...
Anyways ...these days she's much towards her plusses (esp after the arrival of her grand daughter ( My kid) , whos keeping her busy ).

Thanks to God for all the positive changes that have happened so far.....

 

Re: MIL is an Angel or Devil?

Interesting.. Based on what I follow, I scored 11/12 on the Don't's and just 11/20 on the Do's in that link..
But works well for me. If I were to follow hard and fast with the "Do's" listed there, all of us (whole family - DH, I, DMIL, DFIL, SIL) would have lost our peace long back!
It all depends on the family dynamics, I suppose..

 

Re: MIL is an Angel or Devil?

Great URL
How to be a Great Daughter in Law: Building a Good Relationship With Your Husband's Mother

And AMEN to point #
18.Pay attention to your mother in law's needs and wishes. A great daughter in law considers others' desires.

This is the open subjective clause and ROOT CAUSE of all troubles. What one wishes maynot be present another's wishlist... and THIS consideration matters the most to be a gud DIL :rant.
If it was just paying attention I wouldn't have mind.. but considering is way beyond application plans.

 

Re: MIL is an Angel or Devil?

My MIL is an Angel
Loveable and Caring Lady.....Would go to any extent to see both of us (me and DH) happy...

 

Re: MIL is an Angel or Devil?

My MIL -More of a DEVIL with faint traces of an angel in rage:biglaugh

A womanhitler in short!!!!!

Unscramble WOMAN HITLER and you see her-MOTHER IN LAW!

 

Re: MIL is an Angel or Devil?

I have a Q hear dears...????

How is it genuien to ask our MIL to treat us like thier own daughters????
Yes , we can expect them to treat us as human beings and with a lil bit of degnity...But don't you ladies think asking them to treat us like thier DD is lil too much to ask for???

I just want to share with you dears , my motto of a peaceful house.

My expectation from my MIL - Zero , no expectation.
My expectation from my FIL - ZERO again
BIL - Zero
SIL - Zero

My responsibilites towards my MIL - 110%
Buy her, her medicines in time(She is daibetic, buy her clothes, jewellary,fruits, other food , other mislln requirement in time, take her to places she wants to go, accompany her to functions she wants me to go along with her, not go out with hubby, do cooking cleaning, work , earn, do my own baby sitting with no help from her be a super duper active and fast lady all throught the day....etc ..... etc...)

Same responsibilities apply to FIL, BIL and SIL, (With some additions and subtractions here and there) - these realtions are far more co -operative and understanding, For the 1st letter changes hear instead of M , it is F, B and S il's.


Result of the above....6 yrs of married life I have won an OSCOR " MY DIL IS THE BEST", "MY SIL IS THE BEST", "MY WIFE is THE BEST".

What titles isn't it...???
True that I have lost my self, no space for myself...but this is an achivement that I wanted to make...but without my DH's support this wouldn't have been possible, he used to make it clear to his mom that he wanted me to go out with him, I used to pretend as to I wished I could stay with her....
MOM's can't keep thier anger on thier own kids, So I kept myself far, did what best I could do , but let DH handle some situations that I couldn't.

I know not all have a supportive DH, but for me with all the oppositions and tauntums that I had of my love marriage, I made it a point to prove them wrong and today immaterial of wheater they like or not, they are forced to show love on me, (May it be false), for all the neighbours, acquitants, relative, know how I take care of them, I have demostrated to them , so if there is anything that is spoken ill of me, people won't trust.

I am not trying to boost of me here, but am trying to tell you fellow IL's please shower some unconditional love on your DH to get thier attention intially, don't bother if you don't get back the same love or recognition from them, you will see the diffrence as days, months, years pass. They would then start handling thier moms when you folks are in need of DH's help.

My love to all of you,


My MIL: Devil or angle...?????
I don't know.
For today she is changed to an angle , I have had a lot of her in the intial days of my marriage, I too was new to the realtion, so din't have clue to handle it well, but now I can handle all my complex relations well.
I don't know if I start being me... what she would trun to...???


But my expectation out of her or my IL's will always remain Zero, yes with DH- Expectations are as much as 50 % of what I do as my responsibilites for him.
He certainly has to resiprocate and luckily he does..., he is a sweetie pie.

regards,
Kavitha.

 

Relation with in-laws-discuss

hey ladies,
it is very natural behavior of a mother-in-law to be against her daughter-in-law. There is no change in this character since long but I wonder if any one of you guys is happy with the in-laws. Please share the experience with the in-laws whether supportive or not, just the relation with them :thumbsup any help they really extended to you?
In my case in-law works from behind but looks cool and supportive before all. Controls things from India via phone, so strong lady :rant