What can I advise her?

How does her hubby get to work? public transport? Car pool?
How is the commute peak hours to the summer camp? off the way /on the way to work?

 

Her grouse may be valid but she needs to understand his work and efforts he takes at work is the basis if their finances . He may not have choice there but has to work with backache . Is the camp on the way to office or our f way?

May be the cure is to suggest treatment for backache - chiropractor or physical therapy etc .

It is difficult for her also to go 80 miles a day , best thing would
ne to find a carpool if someone else from that area is going to the same camp

 

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]Your friend has to talk to him and make him understand how hectic the schedule for her. Your friend has to make sure that he has to go thru her schedule in a day and then let him give an answer for her request. She has to tell him if he can suggest any alternative if he is not going to help her.In case he resists to drop the kid, she has to ask her husband to take care of rest of housework.
If husband still resists to talk and hear... ask her husband to atleast switch a day routine like her and know how hectic this was for his wife to go through all.


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Her husband may be having genuine health problem and maybe he is stretching himself for work. He definitely needs medical help. The pain will aggravate if not taken care and later he may need surgery or some serious treatment. Chronic pain should never be taken lightly.

Alternatively, she can get an electric heating pad for his back pain. That helped me from back pain post delivery.

She can hire some maid for taking care of some chores and see if she can carpool for the camp.

 

Hey Sandhya..If we take out the obvious..(sheer laziness ....inconsiderate etc etc)
here is something to think about.
I have seen many parents go overboard with their children s activities..Most summer vacations end up being really stressful with camps ,regular activities and play dates.
If both are in sync then they usually figure out a way to pull through..but I have seen cases where one of parents is not entirely convinced and this acting out could be a way of showing dissent. "oh u wanted it ..now deal with it".

 

Yes. This seems to be a perfect response . But am curious what happened later. How this reply was made use of by op.

Thanks and Regards.

 

Does she know that there are drop off services? I have heard that there are people who provide dropping off and even picking up kids from school but for some fees. Is she comfortable with that arrangement?

Your friend should sit down with her husband and have serious talk with him regarding responsibilities. She probably could ask him to help with other activities if not this one or seek outside help in those activities. Somewhere she should try to cut down. And yes, she should start involving her husband in activities where he can pitch in and which would help her. Some men do things on asking, some do it without asking. It all depends on what they think is priority. Most men don't pitch in, some do, and they make it known that they are doing it, they will also do it according to their likes, style and convenience. Some men are more understanding and empathetic and are willing to have discussion and share responsibilities amicably. I think your friend is taking too much on herself from the beginning. She should have started delegating when and where she could have. Also, as someone said, maybe she is not aiming realistically and practically. I don't know about her, you may know her situation better, but this is what I felt when I read the post.