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What a Year

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Kamalji, Dec 30, 2009.

  1. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    What a Year


    The year is ending, as it should, and all the newspapers bore us with the best and the worst of the year for weeks together.Come on, I read 4 news papers, and I already know what happened, otherwise how would I write half my blogs.Bores me to death.


    Ten years back everyone went gaga over the millenium, and the Y2K , and they were both damp squibs. And what will the new year bring, I dread to think. Tomatoes have already dropped from 40 a kg to 10, so that is some thing to cheer about for the ladies eh !


    Yesterday in town I saw hoardings, saying, Don’t drink Alcholol during the New Year, drink Milk ! Milk ! somebody must be crazy here in Rajasthan. Another Ad said, police will be ready to catch those who drink and drive ! And I was wondering how I willdrive back from my brother’s house where we wth some close friends and families will celebrate the new year, how will I drive back.And the good news came today, that out of the 36 breath analysisers, 24 are not working.See who told u god does not listen to me .


    And look what happens at the end of the old year. Yesterday a neighbour of mine drops into my office upstairs, and plonks in the chair,and asks me my health and how I am.Well my antenna went up immediately. His daughter is getting married in jan, and he wants 20,000 loan for the wedding.and the best part is he has not yet given me the wedding card.


    Well I told him I am retired, I don’t work anymore, I am hard for cash, but this guys says, better have the 20,000 ready, and that too I n cash a few days before the wedding, as though he is giving me an order.Look what happened 10 years back, when his other daughter got married.


    He had come to ask 20,000, and I just opened my drawer and gave it to him , no receipt , nothing.We are neighbours since 1980, and I did not say anything.Wedding came and went, after about 3 months, I take the courage to ask him , to return my money, and he gives me an annoyed look, and tells me, how can u ask me money, I have borrowed from so many people, none have dared to ask me yet. Well I bristled all right, but kept quiet, and after many reminders he retured the money after 6 months and in 2 installments.And that too 200 less.


    Now life has come full circle, and who wants to give to the creep once again. His son walks with me in the Garden, and I asked him yr Dad asked me for money, he says give it at yr own risk.! What a life, really, and I am getting a vicarious pleasure in refusing to help.


    Had some guests from <?XML:NAMESPACE PREFIX = ST1 /><ST1:COUNTRY-REGION><ST1:pLACE>USA</ST1:pLACE></ST1:COUNTRY-REGION>, meeting the father after 35 years, and his daughter and son in law first time, took them out for shopping, dinner, and we had a swell of a time.They left yesterday.





    Mirza Ghalib, the great poet, and a decent drinker, his house in <ST1:CITY><ST1:pLACE>Delhi</ST1:pLACE></ST1:CITY> has been given out for a private party.And they had a coffee machine installed. Don’t u think it is a shame, for I doubt if Ghalibsaab ever drank coffee in his life.Yes if it was whiskey, Galib would have been very happy, what a torture they have put his soul to !


    And this one takes the cake. Indigo flight, from Mumbai to Jaipur last week.One of the male passengers misbehaved with one of the girls of a group, and they thrashed him mid air.Mahrukh the girl slapped and thrashed the fellow, demanding an immediate apology.What spunk eh !


    And Jaipur is in the news again, that stowaway from <ST1:COUNTRY-REGION><ST1:pLACE>Saudi Arabia</ST1:pLACE></ST1:COUNTRY-REGION> on the Air India Flight to Jaipur, hiding in the toilet. Jaipur has become so famous, and I guess one day will become more famous when Kamalji the blogger starts writing his colums for national newspapers a la Khuswant Singh ! Some crazy dreams I have .HAHA


    The year has been good for me and my blogs. I had some great topics like Tiger Woods, ND Tiwari, I saw his clip on U tube, he was lying down, poor fellow he is so old, and the ladies helping him, ahem ! God bless these kind of people, they provide good fodder for my blogs.May rich and famous sin more, and get caught more, to keep kamalji in business.


    Life has been fair to me this year. Health reports report that I am hale and hearty, and still Harsha scolds me, Don’t touch this or that. Sad, don’t u think. And the park ladies are getting prettier, in this cold season, they appear more fair and prettier.God bless them, for what would the world be without women. They add spice to life.


    You bloggers have been very kind to me , thank u all.Here’s wishing every male wine , women and health, and happiness and health to all the ladies out here.Whatever u do, please do not get caught, for then I wont spare u, for I am always on the lookout for scandals to write on.


    I will start selling my masks in the new year, bcs I want u all to be safe u see, and I want to be rich too.


    All the best, God bless everyone.


    KAMAL MAHTANI


    My Resulation for the New Year


    In the New Year,
    I will have hair removed from my Nose and Ear,


    I shal avoid looking at a pretty women,
    And instead start looking at other Men.


    I will only drink Milk,
    And wear shirts made of Banglore Silk,


    I shall try and comment more, and blog less,
    God bless

     
  2. natpudan

    natpudan Gold IL'ite

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    kamalji,

    nice to read.

    1. you may dread to think but not to drink.

    2. keep a bottle for the police men, if you don't have their quota then they will catch you.

    3. the breat analyzers are in a way better than the bullet proof vests worn on 26/11/2009.

    4. he read your response to OJ - compalining no one even invites you for a wedding.

    5. 200 less for the inconvenience you caused to him by reminding the loan.

    6. smart son - made sure that he is not a guarantor.

    7. sinning & peeing are to stay for ever. so you are in business.

    8. we will have more kamalji's scanDELICIOUS blogs.

    9. wear kamalji's masks then: aana free...jaana free...pakad gaya tho khaana be free.

    10. that's a lie that you will avoid looking at pretty women. if you do it's a danger for us men.

    11. blog & comment as well. that's a double dhamaaka for us.

    you will drink only milk.....i will save on the black label that you asked me to get.

    wishing you great year ahead kamalji.
     
    Last edited: Dec 30, 2009
  3. radsahana

    radsahana Silver IL'ite

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    hello kamalji

    that was reallly humourous made me laugh so loud, that my dh asked in shock what happen, is something wrong.

    keep blogging, that way we will be hale and healthy since u make us laugh so much, we are no more in stress:rotfl

    you somehow find way to mention your dw name, in all your blogs, this show how much you love her :thumbsup

    last but not least, you are so tech savvy, and keeping yourself and all Ilites busy and happy, i appreciate that very much.
     
  4. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    Kamalji,

    What a year sirji.. blogs which made us learn about living simple, scandal free, and happy.

    Now, tomatoes at 10rs..not yet in our areas. cost of living is going up as we talk.

    now regarding mirza ghalib..no comments..hookah and kawa would have worked better..with a ambience..throw in some chess games too.. at least we indians will be invited and not like some places where we are not..

    Let me talk about a incident recently. i was in a call taxi. and this guy was grumbling. i asked him what happened. he said during his previous call, he had crossed the line at some signal..bad luck there was a traffic constable, he stopped him and talked about fine..then asked how much do you have. this guy had 13rs and a cell phone. the guy said please keep the cell phone, will collect it later. the traffic inspector did not want the cellphone, he took the 13rs the guy had for his tea and asked for something else...can you take a guess.??

    two spanners from the toolkit..:rant.. such is the status of our country.

    so finding coats in the bin, or seeing n.d.tiwari in compromising positions or watching him denying it is all becoming norm of the day. The person who is being questioned on ruchikas' case just waves and smiles at the camera as he goes for applying bails..is all normal..we just read the news shrug off.

    I applaud the girl who could extract an apologythe man who misbehaved.

    Cricket and cricketers take the moolah, while the tribal girls do not have hockey sticks, and wear lent out track suits.

    Unless all this happens, there are not much to write about isn't it.

    wishing and waiting to see your column in the papers all the best.

    Happy new year to you and Harshaji. have your usual quota and do wish happiness for all around.
     
  5. monifa13

    monifa13 Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear Kamalji, Pranaam...
    Just came in to check how my friends are doing.. You seem to be pretty good as usual! I understand you have made New Year resolutions which I promise you are never going to follow.Anyway, best of luck to you.. We are holidaying in London and it is constantly raining and very cold too... We do have few things to keep us warm here - like winter clothing eh? See I am following your style!
    Happy New Year to you and your family..
    with warm regards
    monifa13
     
  6. Mindian

    Mindian IL Hall of Fame

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    dear kamalji,

    yes..What a blog:thumbsup..summed up the last year nicely..

    so it has been a good year for you.?.yesterday only i was thinking kuch khaas nahi tha it was neither too good nor too bad for me..but of course aaj kal absence of bad means good for me..:biglaugh

    i always wonder on the last day how the coming year will be...hopefully good for all of us

    see, you want only wine and women which you seem to get your daily quota...the problem arises only when you want more and specific things hai na? like they say no expectations no dispointments:)

    anyway looking forward to our new year eve party...you too have a blast ushering in the new year..:cheers but take care, remember no driving after drinking..who knows your breath analyser might just work to your bad luck and you dont want to start the new year that way ,no?:biglaugh
     
  7. rajalakshmigopal

    rajalakshmigopal Gold IL'ite

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    K,

    All your resolutions are jokes right since it has come in the end of your blog.:rotfl

    Am I right?:coffee
     
  8. Jpatma

    Jpatma Silver IL'ite

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    KM ji,
    Nicely summed up your 2009 , life will be always good for you KMji. May your family be happy always.

    I agree with you lending money, means you can always think it may or may not come back.

    I love Ghalib , some how all great talented people will have some weakness. Like you you are great person, a bit of weakness is your beer and pretty girls. One you hold with your hand and the second you just hold with your eyes. So what ! you have led a exciting life and have been good father and husband and now you excite IL ladies with your blog. Can't imagine how boring it will be without you. All goody goody people , always ram naam.

    Dosti Imtihan nahi vishwas mangti hai
    Nazar kuch nahi dost ka didar mangti hai
    Zindagi apne liye kuch nahi par apke liye
    Dua hazar mangti hai

    May the new year bring more happiness and more laughter and more porsperity for you.
    Jaya
     
  9. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Nat,

    Man u are too much, hilarious, ur FB is better tha my blog.Think bit not drink eh !
    Yes u will surely save on the BL, now that i will start drinking milk.Today will keep milk and whiskey in front of me, let me see wehre my hand goes.HAHA

    khana free,eh agar pakda gaya.superb.

    Wishing u an family, and if unmarried, then wishing yu and GF a lovely New year man.Take good care of yourself.

    Regards

    kamal
     
  10. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Radhika,.

    welcome to my blogs, and u know my elder daughter's name is Radhika, so i wont forget u now in a hurry.Well i like to make eveyrone smile, and grin.so i did that to u, means i have succedded.

    Well somehow my wife gets dragged in my blogs, i will now try and avoid her in the blogs at least.:biglaugh

    Thanks fro the lovely FB, and do come again.i have posted a new blog now, welcome 2010, with some picture, and would appreciate r visit anmd comment there as well.

    Wishing u a very happy New year Radhika.

    Regards

    kamal
     

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