Weekend Musings

Weekend Musings<?XML:NAMESPACE PREFIX = O />

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Well a lot of interesting things in the papers and in my mind.so here goes


Madonna – She is 50, her new Boyfriend is 22 by the name of Jesus.They are going to have a commitment ceremony this week.


I have heard of ring ceremony, what is commitment ceremony.Maybe it means, that he is commited to be engaged to her, and committed to be faithful to her if they get engaged, and that he will take care of her kids, her own and the adopted ones, and that he will not stray around with the younger females of his age, and be happy with what he has got ?


I never understand these Westerners.Britney Spears, whom Madonna kissed on the lips during a concert last year, divorced her first husband and childhood friend Jason Alexzander, after a 55 hour marriage and honeymoon, divorced him and paid him 60 crores as alimony. Lucky guy got the female in bed, and also 1 crore and hour for marriage.How come I never come across such opportunities ? Lady Luck is not too happy with me these days I suppose.( Don’t tell this to Harsha please.A bird in hand is better than two in the Bush )


And Jason squandered everything , after all it was free money u see, and now that Britney needs a <?XML:NAMESPACE PREFIX = ST1 /><ST1:CITY><ST1LACE>Butler</ST1LACE></ST1:CITY>, she is thinking of hiring Jason on a salary.An ex husband on salary eh ! HAHA. I will never understand these arrangements really.



Taiwanese Toilet Snake Nips man where it hurts – DNA – 13<SUP>th</SUP> May 09


A Taiwanese man had an unpleasant encounter with a snake that nicked him on his @#$%^ , as he sat on his toilet seat.He “reacted instinctively and jumped up “ when he felt a sharp pain and he spotted “ the Big Snake “ .


He is in hospital with minor injuries until the risk of infection passes. The director of the hospital says “ A Snakes mouth isn’t clean.


You mean to say a person is not safe in his own loo !!! **** man, now I have to flush and sit on the seat, they say look before u leap, here one has to look before he sits eh !


And I have always been curious of a snake bite for years.I see these guys sitting on the tracks of Mumbai, shitting, with their backs towards us, as u just enter Mumbai.And there is lots of grass around and I always wondered what if a snake bit a man there, then what ?


I mean they say suck out the blood from the snake bitten area, say the hand or the leg, but what does one do when you are bitten there.


Pretty embarrassing situation, to tell even someone please help me, in this case


I see a rat moving in my bathroom many a times , so now I will have to see inside the toilet before I place my precious backside there.Sad that one is not safe even in her own home.

Harsha and me Going for a Party yesterday.





Adnan Sami – The Divorce


You must have read about his impending divorce.His wife Sara, had separated from him before, then they got back together after he promised that he will leave drinks and lim down for her.


The other day when Sara came to his flat, she found Pooja Bedi in the flat, and the ladies had a fist cuff, where Pooja Bedi says Sara flashed her @#@#@# at her (weird if true !!) and scratched her.Adnan and dad were sleeping in the bedroom.


Pooja says they are just good friends ( ! ! ) what ever that means.Sara says Adnan borrowed 4 crores from her Dad at the time of marriage to pay off old debts, and now she wants 10 crores, plus the 10 lakhs given as Meher.


I don’t understand this.They are Pakistani citizens, they have married under the Muslim personal law, and this is their private matter, how can the Bandra court come in between.Yesterday the court told them to sort it out themselves.


To get thin,sara says Adnan went under the doctor’s scalpels and they must have cut his intestines, the new method these days, and he slimmed down very very fast.


Remember that song of Kishore Kumar, “ Panch Rupiaya Barah Anne “ where he sings

Main tere liye majnoon ban sakta hoon, tere liye etc etc

Adnan’s version must have been something like


“ Main tere liye patla ban sakta hoon,
Kidney liver short kar sakta hoon,
Daru waru chod sakta hoon,
jara namuna dekh le !!!!


The case goes on,lets see what masala I get in the future.Watch these pages for more.


The Elephant


Day Before was a Sawaa Day, the auspicious day when marriages are in hundreds in Jaipur.Horses and Elephants are in great demand on these days for Baraats.


Yesterday I was at the signal of Paanch Bati, on MI Road, going for some bank work.When I approached the signal, it was orange, so I stopped.Around 5 or 6 elephants, with their mahouts on top, went thru the orange light, and one fellow got stranded at the red light.


Lets call him Ramu(god knows if he was male or female, I just cant make oout ), he was at the Redlight.I was behind him, and in front of Ramu was an Autorickshaw, and a motorcycle , and right behind I was.


Ramu could not bear to see his friends stroll away , and he decided to follow them, he did not realize the importance of the Red light, I don’t blame the poor fellow, we are also guilty of breaking rules sometimes.


Ramu had a brainwave.There was a gap between the auto and the motorcycle, but being weak in mathametics, he could not calculate the area required for his girth.He squeezed himself between the two, it was hilarious to see him trying to fit his frame in between, but he got stuck in between, and he gave a heave ho ! The auto fell ot the left, the motorcycle fell to the right, and Ramu ran after his friends.


There were two ladies in the Auto, who were screaming as the auto was on them,and people came to helop lift the auto, and the motorcycle fellow had a few bruises.


The traffic had started from the other side, but Ramu just marched through, and the motorists were screaming at the policeman to challan Ramu, who had broken the rules of the traffic.


The poor policeman was seen pacifying the motorists, while Ramu galloped away to catch up with his friends.


Who the hell has the guts to show cause notice an elephant.HAHA.I found the whole thing damn funny, though I am sure the others did not share my entuthiasm .



Well dear friends, I am sure u guys and gals have slept thru all this, dosnt matter, if I don’t get good comments, I will send Ramu to your houses, and then we will see.


Have a great weekend ladies and Gentlemen.Till next week.


KAMAL MAHTANI

 

Dear Jaya,

so u want to be a gold digger like me eh ! But u are lucky u have the support of yr DS, where as i have to dream secretly.Harsha just wont let go of me :biglaugh:biglaugh

Well Who wants that lady, chee !! I rather look for someone better, and richer, and younger.HAHA

Yes who has the guts to challan an elephant eh !

Thanks for the lovely comment Jaya.Regards

kamal

 

Dear Mindi,

The new method is, they operate on u, and cut out yr intestines, and make them smaller.

so suppose u were eating 10 chappatis, now yr intestines cant take more than 1 chappati, and u dont feel hungry, so u lose weight as u can eat very less now.

Well a broke Adnan, who wants a broke person.Everyone wants a rich guy, and hes been married before too, to someone else, then this one,

Well we see the elephants on the road all the time, so common here, and thye have their own antics.HAHA

Yr comments made my week start well, and i will keep smiling all this week.

Thanks and regards.kamal

 

Dear Pads,

Gld u enjoyed what i wrote.There is really no response here to my blogs, but when i see u Jaya, Mindi and one or two others, i say this is all that matters, then i dont worry about the other ilites whether they comment or not.

Elephants , yes , u cant argue with them, can u.HAHA

Yes Madonna can demand anything, but as u rightly say, just bcs she is rich.Money rules u see.

Thanks and regards.kamal

 

Dear Deepali,

I am very very happy to see u comment on my blogs wholeheartedly, though i cant say the same thing about myself, as i am not regular on yr blogs.I must make up that lapse.

The elephant thing took place right in front of me, and there was no time to click the pic, it happened so fast.

Well Harsha knows me, and sometimes she points out to me, kamal read this, this may be of interest in yr blog.She knows what i am looking for ina newspaper.:biglaugh

Madonna and Britney spears and micheal jackson provide me great entertainment, with their actions, and i add a little spice and put it in front of u all.

thanks for the appreciation, regards, and do keep coming again.

Regars

kamal