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Wedding - When One Side Spends More

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by Rihana, Apr 1, 2020.

  1. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    General, random, time-pass, arbitrary, peculiar, hypothetical question:
    • A man and woman of Indian origin, living abroad or in urban India, are getting married.
    • Both are independent, educated, earn enough. 28-32 age group.
    • One side's parents want a lavish wedding as it is the custom in their family.
      They are happy to foot most of the bill.
    • The other side's parents give a small amount - cover the expensive photographer's cost.
      They are as well-to-do as the other set of parents, but believe in simpler weddings. They might help the couple later, such as for a house's down payment. But that help will be much less than the wedding expenses.
    Wedding goes off fine. Couple goes on honeymoon paid for by themselves. All seems set for the happily every after.

    The young couple and both sets of parents live within 50-75 miles of each other.

    Question:
    • Both parents are equally well-to-do but one chose to spend more on the wedding.
      Will this disparity have an impact on how the young couple interacts with the parents in the coming years?
    • Will it have an impact on how often the couple visits or calls up the parents who contributed less?
    • Will the grandchildren be closer to grandparents who spent more on the wedding and will spend more on future celebrations such as baby-showers?
    .
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  2. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    One random response to the hypothetical question:

    Weddings and wedding videos are soon forgotten. Couple will be closer to parents who can babysit more often.
     
  3. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    In general, for long-enough married lives, one person in the couple wrests control over the internal/external affairs of the nuclear family reasonably early in the marriage. If there is no chief-controller, the marriage is bound to fail, although it may go on in name only. S/he directs how they or their spawn interact with relatives outside the family nucleus.

    Long ago wedding cost sharing details would get fuzzy over the years. Children would be closer to whichever set of grandparents had interacted (babysat?) more with them. That is only natural.
     
    Mistt likes this.
  4. Mistt

    Mistt IL Hall of Fame

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    Nope! Obviously Grandchildren close to grandparents, whoever show their care, love and support to them. It also depends on parents relationship with grandparents.
     
  5. Caughtinbetween

    Caughtinbetween Gold IL'ite

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    As inlaws they may have a thousand complaints about everything related to marriage functions but after they become grandparents i think only their bonding defines the course of relation ship and time spent. specially when the child has grown up enough to live with gp's for few days or at a stretch and perform day to day chores independently , irrespective of parent's preference child will lean towards one who cared for and loved them.

    Also health of the grandparents decides how involved they are in their grandkids lives , besides their idea of post retirement life .

    I feel if one side has contributed less to the expenses then other side would most probably bring it up one way or the other ..the intensity of which depends on who's parents they are .
     
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2020

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