Ways to irritate In Laws who are irritating u.....

@gauridinesh and @katsb i am not obliged to write what you want to hear i have my own views if they dont match with yours its your problem not mine stop calling others kids and mommas boys look into yourself you are not miss "perfect"

and ohh yess the last thing i expect is character certificate from a self proclaimed feminist please save me from that ...:coffee
:clapeveryone who differs with you views is outdated and you are the hippe acceptedconsole1

 

People need to understand that this is Indus LADIES forum, a place for women to unburden themselves. Obviously, other women who face the same situation will sympathise, and understand, and give them advise. I dont understand why in so many threads in this forum, there is someone or the other who comes in tries to nullify and devalue the OP's issues, and pass judgement? For those who think 'feminist' is a bad word, and all 'feminists' are misandrists, they need to start reading more books. Every woman is a feminist, and there are several men who are feminists too. Does that make these men sissies? No, it makes them good human beings. Women who post here are asking for advice from fellow sufferers, those who do not understand their situation, and cannot sympathise, should not pass unfair judgement. You dont know what the OP is undergoing. Only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches.

 

Hi Vishal21,

I think you dnt knw how deep when a MIL(should be a mother to DIL)hurt their DIL bytalking about her infertility comparing to others ladies.
You dnt knw how a DIL feels when she come home after exhausting work from office, faces angry face MIL at their doors,with morning cooked meals reamains in the refrigrator.
How a DIL feels when she had fertility treatment(laproscopy) come to her MIL house,
if MIL tells her relatives she cant do anything with this kind of sick DIL.
How a DIL feels when MIL tells that you can spend money on SIL children because we dont have children yet?(this was very badly said by her in the regional language)
while typing itslef i cant forget ,my wound is still fresh and im crying .

I left my job,my self respect,my pride and not only me and also my parents are ill treated because of my marriage.

If you dnt experience any of this please dont do any suggestion abt loving and caring.

Like a coin has 2 sides, every human have good and bad,but none of the normal human can show good side for always bad mouthed and ill doing ppl.

if you are jesus,buddha who shows only love and affection to those who beat you ,crush you and hurt you ,then here is my royal salute to you...

 

@goody goody i can understand i myself have had a troubled past extremly painful which started from childhood abuse and went upto ciggrattes and drugs thankfully i am out of it now you had the get courage to come out of it ...i was a coward i think you were strong i accept ...i don't feel people should be saint but atleast behave human and keep egos aside nothing else these people will continue talking bad about me because my views differ from them thats the problem they like to live in a herd where everyone thinks identically the same way they do..i ask you madam is it possible?..just forget ...me wrong you right by the way
i pray that you have a happy and nice life with your family and don't go through the ordeals you went before and please give it back to your in laws they deserve to go through what you went this is what i feel..but do mean to say every woman have went through the same ordeal that you have to hate in-laws to this extent no it cant happen ...and i always feel don't criticize a particular person criticize the "wrong action" of that person...i know its easier said than done
i am sorry that i was the reason for your tears ...didn't mean it ..sorry again sorrysmiley


.but yes those who teach me how to respect women well ...i have a lovely mom and dad who have taught me how to respect...and i have many friends who are women and trust me they don't believe that hurting others is feminism
but you know what the mahaan ladies over here will say "hey you were druggist thats the reason why you think so pathetic we would pray that you never get a partner or remain happy in your life" they have said this to many users and might say to me also but i dont care ...i am happy i don't need to do stuff to please someone..from today anyways i wont come as and would go inactive maximum they will ban me but atleast i gave my views genuinely on a particular issue and not to get "likes" from the people

 

Vishal,we ARE a herd. We listen to each other. Because more than 80% of the women in these forums are at their wits end. We have been mentally and emotionally tortured, taunted for minor mistakes, judged, criticized,have been witnesses to insults to our own parents just because they are the parents of a girl. This is a place that gives us solace (atleast this is my case). A year and a half back - (before I found this forum) , I was an emotional mess. I have screamed into a pillow.

Most of the times, we women cannot talk to our husbands for the fear of an argument or loss of peace and neither to our parents for the fear of worrying them. So we come here. We vent. We rant. Things that may seem silly to you, are big problems for us, coz it comes with a background. So when someone comes and preaches here too saying 'consider these ppl your own parents', we flip. Dont you think its natural? Its nothing personal,brother. Its human nature.

If you can understand that - I guess most of your hostility would die down. Peace.At least here,please.

 

i am sorry i am out off here ..me and my freaking withdrawal symptoms sometimes i am good sometimes if i get offended even i get rude (its just 6 months i left cocaine) ...sorry ...i wont visit the site again ..

but before i leave you can check my threads ...well i was not that rigid a man?was i?just because some of our views differed and i took a diffrent stand on them...who else than me can understand that even if your parents are on high post but the school bus conductor if hits you miserably then how it feels i know...even if parents are extremly loving if god forbid if you have to stay in hostel one gets into drugs just for that reason...i know how it feels when a kid is battered for no fault of him...but i wont like that kid to grow up and hate the world no..the world is nice and loving just criticize people wrong action and not the people themselves ...i know how it feels when you have exams on head and your girlfriend dies of jaundice i know that ...i know how it feels when the person you the most (your mother) is not with you for one whole year because she is transferred ...everyone has their own pains in life if all start making issues the life would stop...
its been a hard journey for me also i have never blamed anyone ...never
i continued to study hard and do my regular drugs to the extent that i lost 35 kilos in 3 months but still i never hurt anyone other than "myself" nor that bus conductor who hurted me when i was small and left me with the memories or god who snatched away my girlfriend or my mother for not being there with me when i wanted because of her job reasons to show her love ...i lived it!!!
sorry if i hurt anyone ..i will stop my flaming...i just wanted to give my views but never thought being frank can offend people

btw :- today happens to be world tobbaco day this day i urge everyone be a male or female
DONT DO DRUGS i know how stigmatic it can be to accept ...i lost 2 recruitments just because of that but the 3rd one hired me because they like me being honest ...but still many people are scared of me that how will this person react many people try to test if i have really left drugs (specially the peddlers gigglingsmiley) ...

i just dont want anyone to go through what i have been..because i was emotional i faced it ...be strong and just ignore things otherwise it is really painful...maybe my words are harsh ...sorry surrendersmiley

i always get bashed up on net for speaking my mind :bangcomp:

 

Vishal, you're probably too young and inexperienced to understand how petty family politics works. Many young women start off their married lives with the same kind of thinking that you have only to find themselves dealing with insulting behaviour on a day to day basis. Some people are raw and abuse openly, some do it in more sophisticated ways. A woman may behave very differently as a mother and as a mother-in-law, specially in our society. That is why you find so many cynical, embittered women on these forums.
I would urge you not to be judgemental.

 

again our views differ you call me immature same happens at your home your views with your in-laws differ you term them monsters its not done according to me ...
okay the last thing i would like to say is lets hope you and your partners turn out to be ideal in-laws and not the ones about whom you all are here insulting ...i dont feel every lady who signed up for this site goes through the same saas-bahu saga and is the bechari type ...like it is trying to be shown around here...i can tell you countless number of cases where the parents of women file fake 498A are slapped just because the man asks for divorce now please don't tell me i am making up facts here ...if you have time at your disposal please go and check Family Court in your Town and ask inquire about the 498A cases you will find it almost every 1 out of 3 cases which goes up for litigation is a 498A case all i mean to say is even in-laws are victims ...here only one side is being shown ...and basically the problem here is not that according to me one reasons for this issues might be whenever a girl is over-pampered or even a guy at his/her home then when they get married sudden responsiblites they cant face them and just blame other people and hide into some forums for bashing them ..rather than taking effective steps to check where are they themselves lacking ..
thats all i wanted to say i agree there are women who go through a lot in their lives but not every lady who cries out "VICTIM HERE HELP" and is bashing the elders of her partner is really a victim i dont feel ...if you do then good for you i wont comment further ..i am not being judgemental but even men have their issues so if they ill-treat "irritate them" just because they feel they are being irriated then how would you feel...ultimately moving out is a better option or irritating each other and holding grudges was my argument ...i told i did not want to hurt just want to know how many of you would support your partner irritating your old parents and showing attitutude to the old ones i am sure that time you will say"hey if you dont like them dont talk dont visit their grave also same any man should say but irritating old ones is not good i think":thankyou2:

to end my argument i would say "for any man or woman if you dont talk with their parents they might handle but if anyone holds so deep grudges and hatred trust me such partners are big turn-offs and are fake according to me they just want everything done their way if all do things they want they are happy if someone doesn't he/she is the villan ..and that would be feminism? i guess not"

i hardly saw any women from you discussing the pathetic condition in UP or karjat rape cases which shook the nation...thats may be immature but atleast i dont hate people because my views dont click with them ...

 

Indusladies! You ppl are the best! You have improved my outlook in life! Thank you! I cannot expres in words how this forum has helped me!

 

Hi ladies
I need ur help!!is this thread still active?I am happy that i am nt alone in this category.I dont like my Mil.My Dh wants her to stay with us for a week.My MIL is visiting my home this week I just can't accept her certain behavior.She is such a drama queen .I want to make her feel that she doesn't want to come my home anymore. Any tips please!!!

Thanks
:-(