Was Lakshmi A Fool? I don’t Think So

Was Lakshmi A Fool? I don’t Think So.

Lakshmi looked like any other woman. May be she was slightly taller. She had a healthy figure and reasonable facial features. She hailed from an upper middle class family in that village. When she talked it would appear that she would never stop.

Everything was quite normal about her except the fact that her IQ was very low. She could not grasp things, do even the simplest of arithmetic, haggle with the vendors or even judge people. She could be easily deceived by any one who cared to.

Lakshmi was known among the village circles as the dullard and the village women either made fun of her or talked to her in a condescending tone, as if they were talking to a five-year old. Lakshmi, of course, did not mind and was happy to relate to people even if the relationship meant just being bullied and teased.

Lakshmi was married to a smooth talking con-man of a nearby village. Lakshmi’s family was eager to marry her off into a good, respectable family. But as Lakshmi’s reputation had spread far and wide, very few people were interested in the match. Lakshmi’s father and her grandfather were reasonably rich. Added to that some of her uncles took pity on her and pooled their resources and ultimately got her married off to whosoever agreed to marry her for her wealth.

Her husband ran away within six months of marriage. Thanks to the benevelonce of her rich relatives Lakshmi had some good properties settled in her name and she always had enough money about her.

Her husband returned to her after a year. Lakshmi true to her nature welcomed him home and pampered him as if nothing happened. The villagers warned her that the husband might run away soon and he had come only for her money. Even her father advised her to be careful about her husband. All the sane advice fell on deaf ears. As expected her husband ran away with whatever cash and jewels he could manage to take from the house.

Six months later the husband returned again. This time the warnings were sterner and advice more forceful. But Lakshmi as usual disregarded all that and celebrated the homecoming of her prodigal husband. The husband wept on her shoulders, asked for her pardon, slept with her night after night and after a month ran away again with whatever he could lay his hands on.

The whole village was on Lakshmi denouncing her for being so naïve and trusting. She was surrounded by the headstrong women of the village who were demanding an explanation for her silly behaviour.

Lakshmi saw the women through her tearful eyes and said amidst sobs:

“For you, life is easy. You live with your husbands and any time you want him he is there just for the asking. But where will I go if I want male company? Who else but my husband can give that pleasure to me. Yes he is a cheat, a crook and a scondrel. But he is a man. Can you deny that? If a man wants female company he goes to a prostitute. But where will I go, tell me. That’s why I welcome him every time he comes to me. Am I wrong? Am I an idiot? Please tell me.”

I don’t think so. Do you?

I should have read this in a short story or some family-elder told me, I don’t know. But this incident left an indelible scar in my mind. I am afraid that in many cases we mistake cunningness for intelligence and shun the intelligence that really matters.

 

Thanks For The Reply, Ambika

Ambika, I forgot to mention one thing. The incident/story is at least 30 years old. I am sure you and I will not appreciate a similar approach (as that of Lakshmi) from a software engineer of the 21st century. Compared to Lakshmi she will have a number of choices, all of which will be much more sensible than the only choice available to Lakshmi.
I regret my error of omitting the timeframe of the incident which propelled your response.
I don't think the modern man will prefer Lakshmi's. The modern man prefers a super intelligent house-wife-cum-home-maker-cum-high-flying-executive-cum-a beauty he can show off at his clubs and parties.
I have a cousin who is almost like Lakshmi and her husband, a lawyer, though he did not technically desert her, virtually abandoned her. My cousin had a horrible life. And now her son has become a software engineer in Infosys earning unimaginable sums of money. And Ambika, you should see to believe the fierce devotion the son has for his mother! The son detests his father and made it clear that he would not have anything to do with the old man.
Serves the old man right!
regards,
sridhar

 

The Argument Goes On!

Ambika,
highly evolved, emancipated women did exist long time back. But they did not have as many choices as the modern woman now has. Lakshmi might have been intelligent in finding an answer to her biological needs within the moral framework of the society at that time. But the given fact is that she is a dullard. And if she is thinking of some other brilliant choices, well then she becomes a bright woman and the whole thing begs the question.

I did not say that all men marry only to show their wives off in parties and clubs. But for those men for whom marriage is a kind of convenience and a way to go up the social ladder will not marry Lakshmis.

I am not saying that the only way to respond to an ill-treating husband is to wait for the son to grow-up. But in the example I gave in the reply she did not have any other choice - probably because she did not have the courage to break some conventions or probably because she was not emancipated. So she had to wait for Nature to take its course of justice, in this case through her son.
My cousin (now in her fifties) in those days was not financially independent. There was not enough support in her parents' home. So she found all the escape routes closed and had to simply suffer in silence till her son grew up.
Yes even then she could have abandoned her husband and gone out of the marriage and family. But given her circumstances she could not have provided education to her son, her son could not have grown up as he did now.
Ambika, with my limited experience I am telling you (correct me if I'm wrong): there are thousands and thousands of women trapped in a horrible marriage who just suffer in silence because of their children. It may not be a sensible choice. But they always place their children above their personal welfare.
Now continue with your argument, Ambika. I am all ears.
sridhar

 

You have hit the nail on its head

Shalini,
you hit the nail on its head. Yes, Lakshmi could have looked for another person. To have a good husband was not an alternative Lakshmi had right from the beginning. So she was trapped into the marriage. And given her conditions and the society at that time, what she did was not foolish. The whole talk of empowering women which we hear in every other forum is to give woman "alternatives and choices." That's what every feminist movement should aim.
I will be happy if you read the arguments contained in the replies to this post and contribute your own.
thanks for the reply,
sridhar

 

A Nice Reply

Induslady,
yes there are many like the person you have described in your reply. We do admire the grit and determination in such women. But even to stand up against injustice against ill-treatment you need some basic strength and intelligence. Given the fact that Lakshmi is a dull person she might not have even grasped the evil propensities of her husband. And to find out the true colours of a real con-man you need to be really bright which Lakhsmi was not. What is striking in the post is the way Lakshmi chose to answer her needs well within the cultural and moral milieu that was available to her 30 years ago.
Ambika also has stated that even 30 years ago there were emancipated women. No doubt about it. But we can't deny the fact that even today there are women who are treated like doormats and most of them don't even complain.
Induslady, I am happy that this incident is provoking so much of discussion.
Eager to listen to your views,
varalotti