1. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  2. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

Walmart Diagnostic Comp.

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by priyauc, Sep 24, 2007.

  1. priyauc

    priyauc Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    257
    Likes Received:
    18
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Female

    WALMART HAS EVERY THING
    One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe
    says to Mike behind him,


    "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."


    "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.


    "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine
    sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about
    it.




    It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . . A lot cheaper than a
    doctor."


    So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to
    Wal-Mart.


    He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the
    urine
    sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.


    Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:


    "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy
    activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @
    Wal-Mart."




    That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe
    began
    wondering if the computer could be fooled.


    He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples
    from
    his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.


    Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits
    ten
    dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.


    The computer prints the following:


    1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)


    2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)


    3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.


    4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.


    5 If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get
    better!
     
    Loading...

  2. puni88

    puni88 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,320
    Likes Received:
    7,222
    Trophy Points:
    545
    Gender:
    Female
    Good one...
    I wish Walmart had real one of them...
     
  3. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    23,654
    Likes Received:
    27,161
    Trophy Points:
    590
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi priya,,

    good one..........
     
  4. Vysan

    Vysan Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,378
    Likes Received:
    102
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Hi,

    Hahahahahha..............:2thumbsup: ... Good one...

    Veda
     

Share This Page