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Waiting For An Opportunity…..to Feel Offended!

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Srama, Feb 17, 2021.

  1. Srama

    Srama IL Hall of Fame

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    I stare at the picture. It is that of a lovely water lily from my pond. I love the color; a couple of water drops but what I like most is the imperfection in that lovely flower. My little pond like other water bodies is also messy and these lilies sprout year after year, rising above all the muck and mud and giving joy reminding me, yes you got it right – to rise above.

    Talking of rising above, my new puppy the younger one usually teased to possess just four brain cells is experiencing his first snow. He is such a dog I tell you – if you know what I mean and if you know what it means. When we got him, my veterinarian turns to me and says “S, congratulations! Finally, you will get to enjoy a real dog in your life!” Do not get me wrong. I love my Toby, but he is half human- again if you know what I mean. I am afraid he might have even learnt spellings of his favorite words too, going by his expression when we talk at home in “spelling”. So, like I was saying my younger pup who is lovingly named “Junior” has not inherited any of those special traits. He lives by commands, respects boundaries and acts by pure animal instinct, walking with trepidation in his first snow, gaining some confidence and stepping right on to the iced over pond! I shove my head out and yell “June, no! You are no Jesus, you will drown!” thinking of that lizard, the Jesus Christ lizard
    Junior for his part, gives me that look of “whatever” and walks across, thankfully without any mishap. Toby, sensing my worry goes out and sniffs around Junior seemingly telling him something and since then Junior has not ventured ‘into’ the pond despite the vast whiteness around it and in it, eliminating the lines between the earth and water. He seems to have figured to rise above the pond and keep clear, thanks to Toby!

    DD is busy making chocolate covered strawberries, with some cookies in the oven. It is after all white and cold outside. Baking is the way to keep the house and heart warm. As I walk in to get some water, she says “Ah! It is so nice to work in the kitchen without the pupparazzi”. I love her sense of humor I tell you. Yes, you heard it right – pupparazzi . Pups you see have been playing in the snow instead of their usual waiting patiently in the kitchen following the person around while I was shoveling, and while I have been shoveling, I have been contemplating - contemplating on “Waiting for an opportunity to feel offended”. Yes! Something had happened the previous evening that had me upset and me trying to be the bigger person by letting go, questioning though if I am really offended or if I am looking for an opportunity to feel offended. Whenever I think on these lines, my yoga teacher always comes to mind. I should in reality think of Dr.Dyer who talks about it quite a bit.

    My yoga teacher has this habit of picking a student for demonstration – to show how to do a pose and how sometimes even though we want to do right, cannot you know, because of let’s say ‘little Tyrannosaurus arms’. What I have learnt though is that when she is picking a/on a student, she is not looking at you as a person, an individual with feelings and emotions. To her at that moment, you are just a body. She is only looking at you for a demonstration of the pose, of ‘a’ body doing the pose and if you take it personally, well your loss – God help you. Bless her heart. She truly has no issues with you as a person, ever, at all. That is where on that mat so long ago, I learnt not to look for opportunities to feel offended, if anything that mat has taught me to learn, to let go and move on. If you didn’t know, I love crawling on to that mat!

    As I come back into the house, the pupparazzi follow me :blush:. I smile, thinking of all the times they come running, always ready to greet with their wagging tails. DD comes from the kitchen squealing to greet them, telling them how much she has missed them, asking if they had a good time outside. I don’t know what that hullabaloo is all about - I love my pupparazzi, especially on days I ruminate so much! They are the only ones who can make me feel so loved!
     
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  2. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    It's often true - we are looking for an opportunity to feel offended. Often, though not always, the offending act is not personal.

    The driver who cuts us off on the freeway - he/she would do that to any car in that lane at that time.
    The checkout clerk who doesn't smile and ask how your day is going - you are just the nth person in the line and it is almost time for his break.
    The MIL who finds fault in the DIL's way of doing things - nothing personal. MIL would find fault with any woman who ends up as her DIL.
    The college that sends you a kindly worded rejection - nothing personal. They would have rejected any Asian kid with your profile and stats. That is why India's entrance exam system is better than the holistic method.
     
  3. Srama

    Srama IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Rihana,

    Thank you for that response.
    That is a very wise thing you have said. Learning to differentiate and learning when to take something personally and when to let go like in most of the examples you have mentioned will make life more emjoyable.
     
  4. satchitananda

    satchitananda Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Was lovely spending time with you and pupparazzis in the snow, Sabitha. Now looking to some of those goodies baked by P. <3 :-D
     
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  5. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    Pets when they are aken just after birth, hardly have animal instincts, My late lab Jimmy was very human , the differences being she had four legs and barked. She yearned for human comforts and stuff humans ate. She had almost convinced herself she was an alpha human of our pack and ordered us around easily with her excellent communication skills. The present pet Pixie is all dog but is an expert in pretnding she doesn't understand what we say and that helps her in not obeying us at all the times. And our cats are so devoid of feline instincts that even when a mouse dances in front of them , they sit and watch.
     
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  6. Srama

    Srama IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Satchi,

    Thank you! You , my friend must come in person to spend time with us :) goodies were all gone even before I could take a picture!
     
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  7. Srama

    Srama IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Balajee,

    Knowing what a pet lover you are, I am not surprised at all with your response. Both of mine are mostly labs too with some other mix. We were fortunate to get both of them from a shelter. While Toby came just like what you said right after birth, my poor junior had to spend almost a year here and there - so he is mostly a pleaser, to stay in a forever home. Me not being a cat person happy with my pups. Thank you as always for responding.
     
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  8. shyamala1234

    shyamala1234 Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Sabita,
    You trained your pets also to enjoy snow!!!! Next step....teach them to make snowman or atleast snow balls!!!
    When we feel offended when we face some small...like some bad manners or not saying thank you or so. What a relief we feel when some one is courteous and we really appreciate those! Because of the previous "offended" incidents we feel good when things are good.
    Syamala
     
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  9. Srama

    Srama IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Syamala,

    Thank you for your warm response. It is interesting how much dogs here are so used to the snow and enjoy it so much. I feel guilty when I don't send them out.

    As for taking offense to things, I am making it a habit to pause before I feel bad and react big or small. It is helping me feel more centered :)
     
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  10. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Sabitha,

    Pupparazzi? You gave me a nice word to call Orion from now on. In our house, he is not allowed to be mentioned as a dog as my wife is very sensitive to that word. She looks at him as a grandchild with four legs and a tail as Orion was adopted by my son. I was smiling so much about Toby's knowledge about the spelling and we run into that difficulty as Orion also understand not only two languages both English and Tamil but also understood when we spelled the word intentionally. My MIL introduced a new language introducing "Kha", a Tamil letter in front of each letter in a word, and even that he started understanding.

    "Waiting to get hurt" is a magical word I heard the first time from the Advisor to the Prime Minister of India, Mr. Sam Pitroda. When he came to attend a Board Meeting in our R & D center in 1990, I stepped out and opened the car door for him and invited him into our R & D Center. He shook hands with me and asked "What is the need for opening the car door and invite me as I found my way to reach the entrance of your R & D Center".

    He further said people get offended if they are not properly invited and that culture brought all unnecessary formalities into our lives. When I addressed him Mr. Pitroda and he politely replied, "Please call me Sam" as his full name is Sathyam Gangaram Pitroda which he shortened in the US as "Sam". With the confidence he game me, I asked, "Will you ever get angry for anything at all?" and he quickly replied, "Only when I could not find my two pair of shoes together".
     
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