Very embarassed - when my Doctor asked why Indians discriminate girl babies?

vidhkarthik · Nov 21, 2009

I had to go for my regular monthly OB appointment today. My doc is a Caucasian and we do share a nice rapport. This time though I was shocked by the questions she asked.

She told me that a few doctors have been advised not to disclose the sex of the babies in the 16 week U/S for Indian couples. She said that this has happened to her friend thrice. Once when she disclosed the sex of the baby, the Indian lady started wailing and told the doc that her husband and MIL would disown her if she had her second child also as a girl. One more lady told her clearly that she needs an abortion cos its a girl and in another case, it was the MIL who insisted that the baby had to be aborted to the american doctor in question. The doctor was so enraged that she complained to the Cops about the MIL in question and the MIL was terrified it seems. My doc wanted to know why we Indians discriminate so much against women and what is the big deal if a couple have 2 daughters?

I did my best to explain about the age old stupid beliefs in India..but I felt really really cheap and embarrassed. Here we are trying to get pregnant with such difficulty and people want a choice in kids. I really hope when we get older and become in-laws, We stop such barbaric activity. I came home and cried so badly thinking about all the 16 week beautiful girls aborted and prayed that all those lives come to each of us struggling.

Am in such foul mood today. :-(

Vasumathy · Nov 21, 2009

re: Very embarassed - when my Doctor asked why Indians discriminate girl babies?

There are so many still in the same nature to expect only boy child with them.

Since we are TTC for months & years, we will opt any child for us. Those who get it very easily won't feel it is a very precious gift, so they have their choice in either keep the baby or abort it.

But if this partiality is keep going, soon men won't get girl to marry. We will be in lab as a speciman copy! Just can only see! No touching, no hurting!

vidhkarthik · Nov 21, 2009

re: Very embarassed - when my Doctor asked why Indians discriminate girl babies?

No Vasu. Even if I had conceived the next month I got married, I wouldn't mind if I had a girl or even if I had 2 girls. I do not mean to say that since we are struggling now, We would accept any child. Irrespective of that, We should accept any child and not go to such lengths for a male child craze.

shubag · Nov 21, 2009

re: Very embarassed - when my Doctor asked why Indians discriminate girl babies?

This stupid belief is more prevalent amongst Indians.. With modernisation and development everywhere, the thinking is still way behind..We have to grow up in our thinking. There is a saying when one gets anything easily its value is not known...only when they struggle to get it its value is known..Likewise the importance of a girl child is not known...Why dont they realise that girls are more emotionally attached to parents??

Vasumathy · Nov 21, 2009

re: Very embarassed - when my Doctor asked why Indians discriminate girl babies?

Its true...
But have seen people of that nature... That was my opinion.

My dh's relative had 2 girls, when she was pregnant for the third one, he wanted to know the child sex. If its male, he is ready to keep, else wanted to take the decision. Though sex of the baby won't get revealed in Chennai/India, he was not able to do any but to have the third girl. Its just GOD's decision.

malar_arasi · Nov 21, 2009

re: Very embarassed - when my Doctor asked why Indians discriminate girl babies?

hmm thats bad !! I thought in India only we are affected as we can't find out the sex of baby till its born due to old thoughts by some stupid people. I am worried they have spread their wings now and people in US are also affected...

Tianna · Nov 21, 2009

re: Very embarassed - when my Doctor asked why Indians discriminate girl babies?

I just prayed for a child, no other wishes in my life...

Just wanted to share this incident. My Doctor was enraged and scolding a elder lady, a man along with a pregnant lady who was on TTC.

The reason was the pregnant lady had lost 5 kgs in a single month... When the Doctor inquired the patient in privacy, she had exposed the way her MIL and husband abused her with harsh words after scanning somewhere with the help of their relative radiologist regarding the sex of the baby, It was a baby girl.. mg: When are they going to change?

Sankna · Nov 21, 2009

re: Very embarassed - when my Doctor asked why Indians discriminate girl babies?

Really disturbing to know these still exist. It happend to my distant cousin's SIL also. She had a miscarriage in the 3rd month. They came to know it was a girl - and her MIL said that "Thank God it was a girl and not a boy " !!!! I was furious when I heard this:rant This inspite of the fact that this old lady is still working in a big corporation!!

crossiants · Nov 21, 2009

re: Very embarassed - when my Doctor asked why Indians discriminate girl babies?

so sad for all the ladies who r forced for abortion and who do it on their own wish.girl child or male child both r precious,and those on ttc really know the value of the baby in their life.indian society is what it is it will never change.god gives peace to all the aborted childrens and their mothers who have been forced to abort.

sharanyadevi · Nov 21, 2009

re: Very embarassed - when my Doctor asked why Indians discriminate girl babies?

These ladies are really sick... And it so pathetic to see when ladies are against female children. Why God is not giving those kids to us who are longing for years....:rant... Really getting irritated when we read such incidents...