Veg/Non-Veg issue with wife

Indusman,

It is not uncommon for people to marry individuals with desirable traits and assume that they can transform the undesirable traits.

There is another thread on this forum. In this case it is a love marriage and dude is micromanaged by his dad. The girl knew this all the time she was dating him (few years), however she thought she could "transform" him. It is an uphill battle for her after marriage.

Btw, is your wife back in the US or is she being stubborn and refusing to return due to that 1 incident?

 

dear Indusman,

i think there was a similar thread about veg wife and non-veg husband. started by budugu i think. a case of love marriage. in that case the wife was okay with husband eating meat but later got ideas of asking him to stop because she was afraid of what her mom will think when she visits them at US. etc

why i am saying this is because there are chances that your wife's mom is influencing her with her experience in transforming her dad. may be she too is doing the same drama or rather "emotional atyachar" as her mom did in her initial years. (i guess Ekta Kapoor serials have plenty of ready-made dialogues to help her.)

anyways you have all rights to eat meat and drink. now that you have clarified that you are not the drunkard wife beater kinda guy. regarding your wife all i can say is she needs to grow up and you need to be extra patient in this matter. try these techniques.

first few weeks stop eating meat and stop drinking too just to show to her that you care for her. later eat meat once in a while like weekends or outside like restaurants etc but not at home. dont start to drink immediately. let her get the hang of meat first. do this till she accepts you eating meat once in a while.

as time passes and you get close, return the emotional questions like "i have done this much for you, cant you allow me to have one drink just for my sake ?" etc. i think i dont need to teach you techniques i guess. she will say NO initially. give back some more emotional dialogues like "i am adjusting just for you but you are not adjusting. you are very fair etc. thanks". say this and dont drink. she will try to see whether you are really going to drink or not. so dont drink at any cost just to show that again you still care for her. slowly there are chances that she may feel guilty that she is unfair to you etc. she may even allow you to drink.

as for you, you will have to restrict the meat eating and drinking to "once in a while" or rare occasions. it is better than not eating and drinking totally. in this way you both get your ways. she will consider herself "successful" and you also wont have to leave your habit. if you are going to take it too fast and start eating and drinking everyday then she may again get back to her original self and spoil things. so be extra careful in getting your ways done.

now these are just my assumptions. since you are left with no options there is nothing wrong in trying these techniques. i hope this works for you.

cheers.