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Validating Or Underwing My Points On My Husband Behaviour

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Rose03, Dec 13, 2021.

  1. Rose03

    Rose03 Senior IL'ite

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    Hi ,

    in response to my last post ( husband spying on whatsapp ) , have understood that he is spying me and my family behaviour .

    he comes from financially not so good background , and had affairs before marriage ( his family behind money , greedy , social status to say that they are rich ) and uses opponents people’s weaknesses to manipulate and get things done . One such thing is marriage ( lied about education ) , my husband never liked me ( married because his family said so we are rich , educated and earning well , my fmaily had a good reputation in society ) , shocked after marriage of all the behaviour that he and his family portrayed to us before and after marriage . Fast forward , he always used to travel on work , he used to inform me 2 or 3 days before , so had never planned for anything . Of 9 years of our wedding once a year we used to go out , twice a year dining out . He had never attended any events in my daughters school , always used to say ‘ you say you are educated , you are good at it ‘ you do , don’t depend on me I will be travelling

    I had never relied on him emotionally or physically , I was so busy at work , home and kid . He never helped me financially as well ( even to pay my daughter any fees )

    Whenever I ask him , he manipulated and ensure the daily is on me , in fact I was so feeling bad about myself . When I was with him where I had no support , doing everything alone . I was doing everything from searching for Renting house to all . He was in town for a week or 2 , and he was busy at work . He also never spent money on groceries as well . He used to buy gifts for my duaghter whenveee he was from trips .

    I have never come across human like his , if I buy dress , he wants to buy . If I join . If I want to buy any gold ornaments , he wants to buy as well .
    If I buy any night creams he wants to buy as well , any gym member ship or dieticians , even if he is doing to other one or type , he will join like the one I joined and hire a dietician .

    Now that my work brought me to different country. I am living with my daughter here . We have not seen each other for almost 2 years due to Covid . He says you live there and I live here , visit and go back .

    I feel lonely all my life . Even if he talks he wants to know what I am up to like.l and my moves. The moment I got to know he spying my whatsapp, he wanted to know what my siblings and their spouse up to as well .

    I am shocked always , From what planet he has landed ?
     
  2. curlytweethere

    curlytweethere Platinum IL'ite

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    Sorry to hear about what you are going through. I found that I was cheated in a similar way within 6 months of marriage and decided to move out of that relationship which was not built on trust. Hearing you go through this reinforces that I took the right decision. I wish things change for you and you be happy
     
  3. ProudIndian

    ProudIndian Gold IL'ite

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    If there is no love, companionship, trust or any support why don’t u divorce him and marry again? I know it’s not easy but rather than crying next 50 years like this build courage now and get out of unhappy marriage. He is not going to change but your pain will increase with time.
     
    chanchitra likes this.
  4. DDream

    DDream Platinum IL'ite

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    He will never change. He is not going to love you the way you want, or become the partner you are longing for. You will never be able to trust him. He dont trust you for whatever reasons. So its up to you to decide what you want. As you are in another country, change your phone and number so that he cant spy you any more( if he installed any spyware). He is very controlling it looks like. Use this seperation as an opportunity to grow as a person and gain courage to take a decision. Else it will be life long torture. Otherwise you can maintain this status quo like he said and lead a single life in another country. Ask yourself what you want.
     
    Last edited: Dec 14, 2021
    Gauri03 likes this.
  5. Rose03

    Rose03 Senior IL'ite

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    I wish I could have done , I am from a conservative family , I really wanted to get out the relationship , family CK circumstances made me to beat him , as the Indians elders say ‘ get a kid everything will be good ‘ and All I see is he wants the social status ‘ wife is working smart beautiful and wonderful kid ‘
     
  6. Rose03

    Rose03 Senior IL'ite

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    Yeah , I need to think about it . I know my will be the same even after couple of years .
     
  7. Rose03

    Rose03 Senior IL'ite

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    Yes true .
     

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