1. Have an Interesting Snippet to Share : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Unsolicited Advice By Elders.

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by HariLakhera, Feb 26, 2024.

  1. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,377
    Likes Received:
    2,774
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Male
    Unsolicited advice by elders.
    Most of the members in the group are above 60 and with children and grandchildren. We carry with us years of good and bad experiences and the lessons learned.
    In similar situations, we do impart our advice to our children and grandchildren, asked or not. We forget that circumstances change and so do the solutions. We feel happy when they accept our advice but get disturbed, if not. This creates a bad atmosphere.
    I think we should not extend unsolicited advice in the first place. If asked, we can give our advice to a rider that they should take action as the situation demands in their opinion.
    Hari Lakhera
     
    kiran82, joylokhi, Viswamitra and 4 others like this.
    Loading...

  2. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,652
    Likes Received:
    16,993
    Trophy Points:
    538
    Gender:
    Male
    Fortunately for me I do not give advices to anyone as I need all of them myself:blush:
     
  3. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    13,462
    Likes Received:
    24,266
    Trophy Points:
    538
    Gender:
    Male
    Dear Hari Sir,

    Age gives rich experience but maturity when to open our mouth is another skill. The world is changing so fast and more and more new methods to handle a situation is developed by new generation. Unless the seniors are caught up with changing world, it is best to stay silent. Frankly, in our family, we seek advice from my son on many things we had never learned. The new generation is smarter and there is nothing wrong in learning from them. Actually, if it is mutual, they will also find the freedom to ask something they didn't know how to decide. You are right about giving our opinion when asked and that too with a qualification that it is best if he or she makes the decision as he or she deemed fit.
     
  4. joylokhi

    joylokhi Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,736
    Likes Received:
    2,544
    Trophy Points:
    285
    Gender:
    Female
    This can be reiterated a hundred times! It is best if elders learn to not offer their opinions / advices on everything they may be aware of. Clearly children these days and even grandchildren have their own minds and are quite articulate about their issues/ doubts. So unless specifically requested it is better not to give undue Gyan' :blush:
     
  5. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,377
    Likes Received:
    2,774
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Male
    That is probably why they say old age is return or childhood.
     
    Thyagarajan and Cheeniya like this.
  6. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,377
    Likes Received:
    2,774
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Male
    Dear Shri Viswa,
    Yes, it makes a lot of sense to stay put until asked. A lot many modern things we do not know but a lot many things we know about family relationships.
    There is another angle also. When things go wrong and we knew they will, but kept quiet because we were not asked, we feel the guilt. We could have at least cautioned them even at the cost of getting ignored.
     
    Rihana, Thyagarajan and Viswamitra like this.
  7. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,377
    Likes Received:
    2,774
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Male
    Children today are very smart in many things but losing touch with family
    values. The idea of modern living has created many disposables.
     
    joylokhi and Thyagarajan like this.
  8. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    11,849
    Likes Received:
    12,682
    Trophy Points:
    615
    Gender:
    Male
    The world is creating hundreds of new situations every second and methods evolved yesterday next morning gets obsolete. In such a world old gen to thrive with their words has to catch up and abreast with latest and go with the trend.
    Elders in their 80's would find it difficult to keep mum or mouth shut from offering opinion or even suggestion lest they be splitting hairs.
    If at all I let go my experience cum suggestion cum advise cum discourse, it is downloaded in social websites that includes IL too. Even today I learnt what Not To Do wHich I received as advice from youngsters. Only thing everlasting without changes about which olds can brag on is grandma's hand medicine and a bit of ayurveda. But grandma's of today are modern more abreast and fast grasping the changes taking in their environs.
    The table is set for dinner. Despite calling and reminding them numerous times that food would turning cold, her Grandson and grand daughter though at home not reaching dinner table downstairs. Grand ma sent sms, e mail & WhatsApp messages to them who were watching tv .
    Another grandma seeing her grandson in chaotic state enquired what was the problem. He said searching for car key bunch. She advised him to search in Google.
     
    HariLakhera likes this.
  9. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    13,462
    Likes Received:
    24,266
    Trophy Points:
    538
    Gender:
    Male
    Dear Thyagarajan Sir,

    Unlike real life younger generation of men and women, ILites have much more patients in listening to what seniors like us say and treat us respectfully. The decorum of this site is much better than abusive social media posts. Ladies here welcome suggestions and if they had to disagree, they write politely with their reasoning. They understand that every post is well intended and written with comradeship.
     
  10. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,377
    Likes Received:
    2,774
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Male

    Elders in their 80s have to deal with more difficult situations. Their grandchildren are also grown up and smarter than their parents. They have to be aware of what is happening with their children and grandchildren. They can not say unless asked for. The best part is they now believe more in texting than face-to-face talk. It saves a lot of time for them.
    Google is real God now, wh has all the answers and the best part is gives in writing.
     
    Thyagarajan and joylokhi like this.

Share This Page