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Unity In A Journey Called Marriage And Life

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by gamma50g, Apr 25, 2024.

  1. gamma50g

    gamma50g Gold IL'ite

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    You spoke of unity, of being as one,
    Yet actions, my love, speak louder than what's being done.
    Life's fleeting moments, they pass us by,
    Show me in deeds, not just words in the sky.

    Promises for lifetimes, they hold little worth,
    Bring joy to my days, right here on this earth.
    If the worldly affairs pull you away, and makes you roam,
    Return to our haven, let's make it a home.

    Come sit beside me, let's share a chat,
    With each word, soothe my heart, where it's at.
    Why should I need to ask, for your empathy to shine?
    Feel what I feel, let our love intertwine.

    You said we're as one, in this journey we pursue,
    Prove it each day, make me equal to you.
     
    Last edited: Apr 25, 2024
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  2. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    I have pondered on some similar imponderables many times, each time with a varying level of frustration, resignation, and at times, blessed bemusement only.
    I once wanted to start a thread that asked: "If marriage is a garden, why is the woman the sole gardener? Why is she the one who plans the landscape, shops for the seeds and plants, does the planting, irrigation, weeding, keeping the birds, squirrels and gophers away, ask neighbor to water when on vacation... why is the entire garden planning, maintenance, and periodic upgrades her job only?"

    This one line summarizes it well: Why should I need to ask, for your empathy to shine?
    Why does the woman have to keep training the man, well into the second or third decade of marriage, how to show empathy. Is it too much to expect the empathy to shine without having to switch it on like a light? Why are women expected to play detective, and look and find empathy in the many other tasks of routine care that the man performs?

    A mother will look closely at the child's artwork and find something to praise or remark positively about. A wife shouldn't have to look so hard and eke out the barest signs of empathy from a man. That need in a marriage should not be so hard to get met. No?

    Not a ramble, not a vent, just some thought aloud thoughts. The "Why should I need to ask" made me think the above thoughts.

    Indian men, in particular, put in less effort in these areas. They expect that providing for the family, and being a "good" husband and father is itself a big deal, why is she fussing about things like empathy, connection, emotional availability etc. Why can't she just be happy?
     
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  3. gamma50g

    gamma50g Gold IL'ite

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    @Rihana the irony is even if they know they have to stand up for us even if we are in the right, they would rather turn a blind eye to whatever is happening than empathizing with us as we toil away undergoing physical and emotional stresses trying to be the glue for our family
     
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  4. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Men are simple beings. Given a task or to-do, either assigned to them or that they self-assign, they will do it to a reasonable best of their ability. Women will wipe their very entity away to complete a task or to-do.

    Let's see what @Thoughtful says. :sunglasses:
     
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  5. Thoughtful

    Thoughtful Gold IL'ite

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    Firstly, beautifully written. It captures the emotions so nicely.

    I agree with everything you have said. I am not sure if I can add anything meaningful here.

    I came across this video recently and it fits this discussion I believe:

     
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  6. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra Finest Post Winner

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    Wonderfully written! Truly, in a relationship, empathy is never asked and it is given understanding the situation and knowing what needs to be done. In a good relationship, words spoken are less and actions taken are high. Words spoken are worthy of anything only when it is backed up by actions. There can be gaps but the journey is together, sometimes time alone is needed and other times, holding the hands is needed, and both are actions with a great understanding. Silent tears are harmful to the relationship and it is better for the other half to wipe the tears through actions. If one sees a toxic environment, one should make efforts to eliminate it through healthy conversations to clean up the environment, and no blood is thicker than the need to strengthen spousal relationship. Unity should be in thoughts, words, and actions and mere thoughts of compassion, words of wisdom, are not sufficient unless there are actions of righteousness filled with love.
     
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  7. gamma50g

    gamma50g Gold IL'ite

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    @Viswamitra sir, you truly captured the essence of my poem in prose
     
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