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Two Deaths

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Kamalji, Nov 29, 2007.

  1. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Two Deaths


    This reminded me, of similar circumstances,of two occassions, but here it was to attend Deaths,of my grandmother, and my Dear Dad,both of which happened in Mumbai, and I was in Jaipur when these events happened.

    Grandmother -1995

    - My Dads Mom, staying with us in Worli Mumbai.She expired at around 85 years of age maybe, bedridden for 5 years.She could hardly see in her last days.But Dad took excellent care for her.First he brought a Hospital Bed for her, the one that with the lever, the back comes up, and the patient can sit,without having to lift the patient.He had two full time maids on a 12 hour shifts,and Granny was given a bell, which when she rang, the maid sleeping in her room, would wake up ,and give her the bedpan.


    Dad used to sit with her in the room, for hours, and put on religous songs for her, and talk to her for hours,and she would be so happy.And my two brothers and their wives, the kids, would all be popping in the room,and it was like party time actually.At night Dad would take his drink to her room,and drink while talking to her,of old times sakes, and would call me and make my speak to Granny from Jaipur.He had just one wish, that she dies in his arms,as he feared who would take care of her.A son can feel more for his mother, than would the DIL, that is my mom, who too is a gem,and this is what actually happened.


    Granny went into coma, and after a few days,Dad calls to say the end is near, so can u please come over Kamal, to bombay by the evening flight.I went immediatly,i remember it was Monday,and the whole week passed,but she was in coma,at home itself,and Doctors said nothing can be done.She had the oxygen mask on, and Dad did everything to make her comfortable.


    On Saturday morning Dad said,Kamal you go back to Jaipur today evening,as this condition can last for months or years,and we are all there for her.You have left yr wife and daughters alone in the bunglow there,u dont worry.I protested, but to no avail and i reached Jaipur on Saturday evening Flight.


    Sunday morning Dad calls up at around 10, to say Granny is no more,and can u come today, we will lift her in the evening.Unfortunately, there were no flights to Mumbai on a Sunday way back in 95, and i thought of going to Delhi which was a good 6 hours by road,but there was no way i could make it for the cremation.I left for Mumbai on Monday morning, and everything was over by then.


    Dad's Death - 1996.-dad was hale and hearty, and he had Retina Detachment,he died a year after Granny,on the operation Table,due to the carelessness of the Doctors.Before he went for the operation at round 11, he told my mom, that in case anything happens to me during the operation, you are do this this and this, and the flat will go to this and this etc.For 2 hours he was explaining to her,and Mom was wondering why Dad is saying all this.Premonition maybe ! Dad shaved, had his bath and got ready for the operation, and he came out dead from it.He had a massive attack, and they did not have any back up of oxygen or a carialogist, even when we had requested the Doctor before the operation.the Doctor was so stubborn that even though we wanted to pay for the Cardio, and the back ups, he did not listen, and this is what happened.


    Best part is, this is the hospital where my elder Daughter was born, and this is the hospital where my Dad expired.Whenever we cross it even now, i just turn away my eyes.


    Since it was a routine operation, I was not required in mumbai and it was casual.Around noon i recieved the news that Dad is no more.It was such a shock,and it was totally out of the blue.I immediatly went and booked the Air Tics of me and family, the flight to take off at 7/30 pm and to arrive mumbai at 9 pm.My friends arrived in droves and were keeping us company,till we departed.


    Then , like Whiskyd,the Murphy law took over.The flight got delayed , till it left finally at 12 midnight,a night of madness really.There was releif that i was in Mumbai, and sadness over what had happened.I did not even have a chance to bid goodbye to my Dad.My brothers were lucky,I had not met Dad since his last visit to Jaipur 2 months back.


    I guess thats life,Murphy does not spare you, whether u are going for a Wedding or a Funeral.Thats Murphy for you.


    KAMAL MAHTANI
     
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  2. Nivedi

    Nivedi New IL'ite

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    Kamalji,

    You can take solace in the fact that both your grand-mom and dad were taken good care of. For many of us who live far away from our parents, reaching India during emergencies causes anxiety. Although flight connectivity is better these days, still in those anxious moments, things can go wrong. As you pointed out, Murphy's law operates at such times.
     
  3. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Nivedi,

    Yes i can understand yr point.To reach back in such times, u would be lucky to reach on the 3 rd day.And that thought would always remain, that u were not able to see the departed soul just one more time.

    Thanks and regards.kamal
     
  4. Vysan

    Vysan Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Kamalji,

    I am so sorry to hear about your father & Grandmom... When your kith & kin passed away and you could reach in time... then it is difficult... I could understand ur feelings...

    I was in Bahrain, when my mom passed away... I got the call around 2.30 early morning... Fortunately that was the first working day after Bakrid Holidays of 5 days... Otherwise getting tickets / leave approval would have become difficult... The first flight back to Chennai was at 11.30 in the night... I had no option... My brother was in Germany... We both reached the subsequent day only... But since both the sons are outside the funerals took place only after our arrival...

    The Murphy's law... The flight was late by 2 Hrs... On reaching the airport... There was such a huge queue for immigration clearence... as 5 flights came at the same time... We had it... Shan insisted that I check with the immigration supervisor, stating our plight, so that we can get cleared fast... Funny thing happened... The first thing that man did was move 5 feet away from me... as though I am an untouchable or leprosy patient... I got fed up... then left it... instead of wasting my time explaining to them and increasing my BP...

    On a lighter note... I saw 2 threads of yours on Death.... Though death is not a bad thing in nature... can we talk of pleasent things in the world....
     
  5. malspie

    malspie Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi Kamal,

    I read your post and just arrived at one conclusion, that you are still not been able to get over it. Your heart is heavy about the fact that you were not able to make it at the right time. Your grand-mom was well taken care of and your dad was thankfully hail and hearty before he breathe his last. Just move on and think its part of life.

    Bye
     
  6. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Veda,

    Yes it was unfortunate when ur mom passed away, and u two brothers were in different parts of the world.Good umade it in time.

    Well Death like any other topic for me, but i have many more topics in place.So not tow worry.Thanks and regards.kamal

    Mals.
     
  7. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Mals,

    Thanks for yr kind comments.

    I hve long ago got over the deaths, as i feel they lived a rich life.And this is a part of life.

    This blog was in response to some one writing about Murphy's Law and how he was late for the wedding of his cousin, and this blog was born out of that idea.

    I have moved on in life, as u said, but sometinmes some incidences bring the thoughs back.Regards.kamal
     

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