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Trying for baby but no hope - feeling very depressed

Discussion in 'Fertility & Trying to Conceive' started by Pratts, Apr 7, 2016.

  1. Pratts

    Pratts Senior IL'ite

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    Hi All,

    As my subject read, we are trying for baby but nothing seems happening. We are married for 3 and half years. First 2 and half years we dint plan for a baby. But I knew complications when it comes to baby as I had seen my sister suffering. I insisted my husband so much but he ignored it. Now we are trying but nothing seems to happening. My husband is relaxed as he feels there is nothing to worry. But I am feeling so frustrated and annoyed.

    When I see my friends posing photos with their babies it makes me feel very lonely.

    Honestly it should be just 3 or 4 months since we tried properly but I feel very upset. There are few things which scare me.
    1. I am nearing 30s and this should not affect the kid anyways
    2. I am hearing about so many medical complications. I dint want any of those as we dont have enough time.

    Whether it comes to my studies or career, I keep delaying only due to the fact that I badly need a kid.My husband doesnt seem to understand and it irritates me.

    Every month, a week passes between positive results and periods. Thats so horrible:( I think of getting pregnant but will end having my periods.

    Sorry for the lengthy message. I have few questions which needs to be cleared:

    1. We follow correct ovulation calender. Still my periods is regular.Does it mean that my husband's sperm has got nothing to influence my cycle?Is that normal or some prob?
    2. Few say morning is the best.. Few say just once in a day will do and few twice in a day... All confuses me...What is apt?
    3. Also, few say liquid coming after IC is ok... I always feel if thats the reason we are missing out.

    Plz help me...
     
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  2. Agony

    Agony Gold IL'ite

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    Hello!

    Don't get so stressed.
    U have been trying for not too long. There r people here who hav been TTC for more than 3-5 years.
    So don't stress out.

    Why don't u try follicular monitoring n timed intercourse.
    I think if all is well u should conceive soon.
    Since u said ur approaching 30, just to be on the safer side u may want to get all ur baseline tests ?
    But that's best recommended when u don't become pregnant after one year of trying.
    If ur overweight , try to lose weight.
    Eat healthy n try staying happy
    It will happen soon
    Baby dust To u
     
  3. hoping4amiracle

    hoping4amiracle Gold IL'ite

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    Hi..

    Sorry to hear that you are feeling so depressed.. TTC is indeed a tiring journey and many of us are in the same boat as you..

    Please don't worry that you have some issue and it's going to be difficult to solve it. Be positive and think even if u end up having a problem,it will be solvable.

    1. You can use a opk kit to find your correct ovulation date,I always thot I was ovulating on day 15 but after using opk I got to know I ovulate quite late like day 20. Also,if it is more than a year of trying, you can go to a gynac and get all ur blood work done and start with monitored cycles. Your husband's sperm count does influence the ability to get conceived, but it can be found only after sperm analysis.. Without having tests,it won't be wise to say the issue is with whom. Sometimes periods can be regular,but cervical mucus can be thick etc to not facilitate conception.
    2. Every alternate day is what my gynac suggests
    3. Jus rest in the same position for 10-15 mins and don't worry about the liquid coming out after that,the sperm swims away by that time.

    Please have baseline tests and scan to put your mind at ease.. Happy TTC and good luck..
     
    Agony likes this.
  4. teejay

    teejay Gold IL'ite

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    Op,
    First of all,stop stressing. Being depressed,anxious and stressed will only make it harder for you to conceive. age will be a concern only when you are in your mid 30's. If you would visit due dates club , you will see that many women conceive and go on to have healthy kids in their 30s. I conceived when I was 33 and by god's grace I had a text book pregnancy and delivery. No gestational diabetes, no high BP etc and i delivered my baby normally too. IMO, a healthy life style is more important (crucial) than your age right now. Try to pin point ovulation (use BBT charting and/or ovulation predictor kits)and BD few days before and after you have ovulated. Baby dust to you
     
    Agony likes this.
  5. Vasumathy

    Vasumathy Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    HI Pratts,
    Sorry about your struggles with TTC. You are trying for a year right. Have you undergone any blood test on the fertility base hormones? Any baseline ultrasounds? These will help you to know where you are in terms of TTC. It will tell you if you needed any medical interventions for pregnancy. Try to meet a gynec, they should guide you well.
    Between Check your BMI. If you are not in normal range, try to get into normal weight. Try to eat healthy. Be positive and happy. Stress causes your hormones to go off balance and disturbs your TTC journey.
    Guys used to avoid worries regarding ttc. Don't worry about it.
     
  6. FemaleAdda

    FemaleAdda Junior IL'ite

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    first of all, i apologize to suggest this, if you dont like it.
    but there are so many kids in the world who do not have parents, why not adopt.
    a kid is a kid, whoever's it is.. it'll be yours if you love it that way or any other way
     
  7. Pratts

    Pratts Senior IL'ite

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    All,

    Thanks for your responses. It means a lot to me.
    Everyone says me to be relaxed. Unfortunately am unable to.However i am better these days in taking it positively. Planning to visit doctor very soon. Hoping for the best.
    Adopting a kid is also a plan. However having one of our own matters a lot. So trying for the best.
     

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