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Travelling with premature baby

Discussion in 'Infants' started by Indhu, Jan 19, 2010.

  1. Indhu

    Indhu New IL'ite

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    hi all,
    I had twins who were born premature at 34 weeks.my parents came here to help me ,but since they have to return now , Iam in a dialemma whether to travel with them(since i need some help ) or to stay back and wait till they are atleast 6 months old. while my parents travel the babies will be 3 month old(adjusted age). I would like to have some inputs /suggestions on travelling with premie .I have already gone thru the 'travelling with infant thread' .Since the babies are premature, I want to post it a new thread.
     
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  2. Priya16

    Priya16 IL Hall of Fame

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    Indhu,

    Can you make other alternatives like hiring some one for some hours or buying food from outside.I don't suggest traveling with smaller kids to india as they need to go though lof of adjustments.

    Is any way your parents can come back after a month or so.That way you can manage meanwhile.
     
  3. Indhu

    Indhu New IL'ite

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    Priya , other alternative is calling my in-laws(i want to keep it as a last option), the problem is whether I could have a cordial relationship with them . post pregnancy I had lot of misunderstandings /conflicts with my parents which I least expected & Iam sure the same will happen with in-laws .
    I could adjust other things if its good for the babies, I just want to be sure if Iam taking the right decision(stay here or go back) coz I had these babies after 3.5 years trying & some pregnancy complication from 3rd month. since its two babies , I feel i could not handle alone .
     
  4. Priya16

    Priya16 IL Hall of Fame

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    Indhu,

    I have two daughters and I went to india with my elder one when she is 4months old(full term) and I do have second one premature(at 36 weeks) and we can't even dream to go india when she is before one year.
    I am strongly against taking preme babies at this stage to india.Here the medical facilities are good.In india the systerm itself different.
    People who don't have issues with pregenecy nor with delivery,they don't feel it's a big deal.But for me it's big deal.

    I think you will do ok if you would hire some one help.Find you get any indian nanny to come home and help you.Anyhow you have your husband help in the week end.Compare to in-laws ,I would suggest this.

    I am strongly agaist going to india at your situation.In your own house you said you rifts with your parents.Imagine if you go to india,you have to do in there way not your way.I know new parents extermely careful with everything and that's your mind set at this point.So,my suggestion would be hire some one.

    Even you get your in-laws,you have to pay for tickets and the insurance and lot of misunderstanding at home.If you hire some one,it may cost little more but you will have peace of mind.
     
  5. tikka

    tikka Gold IL'ite

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    Indhu, I am a mom of a 34 weeker too andI am talking only the aspect of managing alone without help. We had domestic help till DS was around 4.5 months (adjusted age of 3 months) after which we started having major issues with them and had to let them go. It was my husband and I who managed with the kiddo. You will need a mother's little helper who help clean the house once in a while, your neighbourhood kids may work for you to vacuum clean the house as often as you would wish.
    You may need to get some food cooked for three days, plan to do it while your child are sleeping and you have help in minding them. Freeze food and have a lot of "quick cook" food available at home. Shop for stuff that can be done in 15 minutes. Keep health bars/protein bars/muesli handy.
    See if there are sitters available in your neighbourhood, check to see if they are trained in basic first aid and ask for referrals to check if they will be good with the kids. Once you are convinced, take breaks from your children once a week to exercise, go out with your husband, to shop, whatever you need to do. Take the help of the community of mothers in your area, join them, take part in their activities. It was around this time I felt comfortable leaving my preemie with others.
    Yes, you have two times as many children, but with help/support from your husband and your community you can easily manage. Don't be afraid of how well you can cope.

    If it is only the issue of how good medical systems in India is, don't be afraid. I lost track of number of micro-preemies I have met here who have done excellently with first class medical care.


    Priya16, then how do you think premature babies born in India survive? I find yours a sweeping statement with a lot of assumptions and am not sure what you base it on. My pregnancy was a big deal to me and I ensured that my preemie got the best medical care he could. We were really particular till he turned 3 years old, last December. Only now are we a little more relaxed and I get a lot of support for the kind of medical care and parenting I like to do here. My two cents.
     
  6. AnithaPartha

    AnithaPartha IL Hall of Fame

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    Indhu,

    Am a mom for my 33 weeker :)
    Right now my hus project is going to end but still we did not get our birth certificate at all to apply for a passport so mostly telling this my hus can extend his prj. Also, am planning to re-join in Feb. In this situation me & dh had quite a few discussions reg this topic and we also decided not to go to india atleast our Rithik is 1yr old. Though in India all facilities have developed still I couldnt make up my mind.. One IL here padmini has also shared her views about NICU in india and how worst exp she faced.. So better stay back.

    Ur parents can extend their stay.
    Refer Extend Visitor's Visa
    Try to give a valid reason to immigration and ask them to extend their stay.Max they can stay here is for another 6mon. We are also planning to do the same. MY parents visiting time is ending and they also want to leave. But due to their health reasons we didnt extend and in laws are coming.

    Best luck & hugs :)

     
  7. Priya16

    Priya16 IL Hall of Fame

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    Tikka,

    I didn't compare anywhere with kids who born in india. I believe you live in India from your profile and that's completely different story., because you will have your husband support with you all the time. But people who travel from here into India
    1) They will not have husband support
    2) They only need to depend on parents.
    3) There may be good medical facilities, but once you get used for environment in US, it takes a while for to adjust again for Indian medical system. So overall it takes time for mommy or for new born.
    4) Becuase of that I believe it's not a good idea to travel to India.
    5) Suppose kids who born in India can take easily misquote bites. But kids born here they will have very less resistance and when they hit mosquito bites it can give allege tic reaction.
    6) I visited when my daughter was 4months to India and she was completely sick for one month., because for them it takes time. I never had any cold or anything when I was living in India. But when I went to India last time I had cold for one month. Basically our body immunity will go down here.
    7) So I don't want to experiment on this newborn babies. Once you start living there (at least 2-3) months or may be more then they may do all right. But initial days looks very risky.,
    8)I didn’t mention anywhere that Indian premes don’t survive. Only the kids body dynamics are different from the kids born US to kids born in India.
    9) Basically all the responsibility on the mother without husband. The OP might have very strong support of family.
     
  8. tikka

    tikka Gold IL'ite

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    Priya, you explicitly said the medical system in the US is good. That's all I am contesting. I dont quite understand your statement that "In India, the system itself is different."
    It seemed to me you are suggesting what if something went wrong in India to your preemie children, because the US medical system is good. Will the Indian medical system be good enough? I was addressing that part of your post, if I was not clear in the earlier post.
    And FYI, I have severe allergies to mosquito bites/insect bites. It is genetic, not related to mosquitoes in USA vs mosquitoes in India.
    And yes I agree, I do think she can manage on her own. It is better than having to share a space with someone you have a stressful relationship with.
     
  9. Priya16

    Priya16 IL Hall of Fame

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    Tikka,

    That's is just my experience. I didn't try lot of doctors in India nor the facilities. But the place wherever I stayed (it's a city but I didn't feel comfortable as here), I didn't have good experience. So I don't know how the other parts. Even here in US, you can have different experiences. So I stated based on my personal experience.

    This is my experience.
    I went to a big DR in town. He is a famous dr. May be there are ways to find another good doctor but I don't have time.

    1) They were using the same thermometer for each kid and dipping in same liquid.
    2) Nurses are not trained. Even to take a blood they did a big mess. Here they just have a pin to take blood and kid won't even notice.
    3) Medicines, large amounts need to give for kid. Here especially for fever and cold one medicine that too maximum 2ml.
    4) Even after having appointment need to wait long time. My dr here, I don't have to wait longer time.
    5) Night time facilities, I am not sure how it works there though. May be I don't have enough time to explore. I think if parents are staying in convenient location with good facilities then it may be good. Suppose if parents are living further away in city and not wit facilities like car then it may difficult for the OP.
    6) The setup what he had is, he has a wall and two sides of the wall two stone benches. He is keeping kids on two sides. He is spending less than 5 minutes for each kid .

    It’s not about the survival its all bout the comfort for the mommy and baby's.
     
    Last edited: Jan 21, 2010
  10. tikka

    tikka Gold IL'ite

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    I am so sorry your child had to go through such a hard time. Sad, it was a well known doctor. That seems to have coloured the way you look at Indian Medical System, but let me tell you, I have never had any of those issues and if you want I can suggest those paediatricians and hospital system that will make your stay a pleasanter one next time.

    The liquid they are dipping into is a strong antiseptic: the protocol is to use it for sterilising and it does not become contaminated.

    The pin prick test is used only for Iron test and heel prick is no longer considered an acucrate testing for it. Blood needs to be drawn from vein for testing for infections: DS had to have it 3 to 4 times when he was around 30 months. Not once did he wimper, the staff were trained to apply the torniquet and withdraw blood so quickly that he did not even feel it. He also needed IV medicines, the anaesthesiologist inserted the canula so quickly and without much pain that DS only protested after it was all done.

    Our paed and the ones we know socially first establish antibiotics are required before prescribing them. We have been asked never to treat fever of lower than 102 deg cel. We have been treated very conservatively, therefore I know there are other paeds who are up to date with the current science.

    Yes, I agree appointments are pain in the tushy here. I do have bad experiences about that; but that is my only grouse. I think we as Indians do not have any respect for anybody's time even in day to day life.

    Again, I am really sorry your child had issues here. If you are in Chennai, I can recommend paeds who will meet your needs. There are good doctors here and great medical systems here, it is really unfortunate that you had a bad experience and had formed your opinion on that experience. Hope your future stays are more comfortable.
     
    Last edited: Jan 21, 2010

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