Transition Plan

I had an opportunity to listen to a conference call for the volunteers who work with terminally ill patients and the bereavement of their families a few years ago. Listening to some of what the transitioning patients aspire gave a great insight into right-living I can address here and now:

1) They aspire to detach themselves from their possessions and relationships.

2) They are irreversibly gripped with the fear of unknown as to what would happen to them after their death.

3) They review their entire life actively to find out whether they led a meaningful life.

4) They are overwhelmed with unconditional love for all beings irrespective of race, color, creed, etc.

5) They see everyone as a soul including those who are present around them as well as those who preceded them.

Let us look at each of them more carefully at how to make this transition smoother when we are still alive as dying is only part of living.

Why rush to detach ourselves from our possessions and relationships only during transition? We can hold every pride possession of ours in trust as though it is given to us for safekeeping. We do not determine who we want to be born, nor do we choose who needs to be our children. To a certain extent, we determine who we live with as a spouse but let us count that as a blessing and do our best to enjoy and relish the mutual trust and value it. We need to get into this relationship knowing fully well that it would last only up to one of us passing away and every day in this relationship should be considered invaluable with no regrets. Why regret leaving the spouse and children, if we had a happy relationship and knowing fully well, they are fully capable of living themselves in our absence?

Let us learn everything about death while living without delaying knowing about it until the end becomes visible and inevitable. Let us not walk to the funeral only to say some kind words instead try to learn more about what are the things the person who passed away accomplished in their lifetime. Even though the purpose of the visit to the funeral home is to give comfort to the grieving family, let us try to contemplate to learn more about death and dying process. If we create a will and take a life insurance policy for our spouse and children knowing someday, we will leave them, why not we spend some time contemplating on how to make the transition easier on ourselves as well?

When one is atheist or a believer of God, they all learn about introspection through our experiences. When we perform actions that are commendable or something we are not proud of, we contemplate on them so that we can do more/avoid such actions in future depending on whether it is good or bad. It comes naturally to introspect and why should we miss it? If we have regularly introspected on all our actions, there is no need for hurriedly review of our actions while transitioning as all our introspection would have been already embedded in our subconscious mind, if we introspect regularly.

“Love thy neighbor” is what Jesus Christ said to the humanity. Love and compassion bring richness to our lives. The amount of happiness we enjoy while giving time, money, or anything valuable to someone unknown to us, the pleasure we derive crosses all boundaries. If we inculcate a habit of serving humanity as part of everyday life, we secrete whatever that helps to have unconditional love for fellow beings whether they are part of humanity or animal or bird or insect world. We do not have to develop unconditional love at the time of transitioning.

Our mind has the capability to identify the faults in others automatically more than finding our own faults. Once we recognize our faults quicker, we realize that mistakes are human. Despite all those mistakes, there is a divine being residing in each one of those bodies around us. Some of us celebrate the life of those who departed in our family once a year but do not appreciate the value living beings add to our lives. Nothing prevents us from recalling the departed souls’ actions nor the actions of those who live around us. Building this attitude of having gratitude for everyone around us makes us think they are all souls and there is no need to realize that only at the time of transitioning.

 

Dear Hari Sir, You have enriched this snippet with your profound response. Poet Vairamuthu asked both Rajni and Kamal what they think about death. Rajni said, “One who lives knowing his death could be in any step of his growth conquers death”. Kamal said, “Death is part of living and I don’t want to see death as opposite of life as everyone faces it as part of his life experience”.

I don’t look at transition as only applicable to terminally ill patients. It is needed for everyone particularly the ones who didn’t spend time introspecting about their actions. A person you mentioned is definitely a blessed soul and must have led an ideal life. Satisfied life makes the transition easier. If the spouse is capable and the children are efficient, there is no need for the person to detach from wealth or the family.