Train A Kid To Be Strong

indubalram · Dec 13, 2021

sanjuruby3 said: ↑

So True... I use the time to teach her at pickup/drop offs. I talk to her if someone caused any mental damage that i need to undo.

Other thing, i feel she gets intimidated by her close friends. Why would that be? why would she feel inferior in front of her super close/best friends? Her best friends are more vocal than her, means more demanding or clear about needs.
Example - with more people, they would ask for certain programme on TV, rather than watching what everyone or other kids are watching. My LO does it only in front of us and in our home. When her best friends are there or in their home, she is quite. They would ask what they do not want to eat. My LO is very picky at home in front of us, but in front of others, she is shy and some mom's think i control her.
I feel its like sibling rivalry with her best friends, love when in distress and hate when get too much attention

I know it is just childhood and will change as they grow.
Click to expand...

I don’t know whether that changes or the kid gets used that way of living! I will definitely let her get out of the way she feels. Make her understand that the way she feels is completely ok and that’s how u will feel. And you have get over it and move on. Let her know education is the best tool to hold on to for her whole life. Education will give her all the support and confidence even if your parents are not with her.

lavani · Dec 13, 2021

sanjuruby3 said: ↑

So True... I use the time to teach her at pickup/drop offs. I talk to her if someone caused any mental damage that i need to undo.

Other thing, i feel she gets intimidated by her close friends. Why would that be? why would she feel inferior in front of her super close/best friends? Her best friends are more vocal than her, means more demanding or clear about needs.
Example - with more people, they would ask for certain programme on TV, rather than watching what everyone or other kids are watching. My LO does it only in front of us and in our home. When her best friends are there or in their home, she is quite. They would ask what they do not want to eat. My LO is very picky at home in front of us, but in front of others, she is shy and some mom's think i control her.
I feel its like sibling rivalry with her best friends, love when in distress and hate when get too much attention

I know it is just childhood and will change as they grow.
Click to expand...

how busy is your schedule . is your child going in any other activities. if not try to put in something like vocal music class or anything that makes her display her skills. instead of focusing on this bully child, focus on making more diferent friends for her. martial arts and sports are very good too.

school bullying is not acceptable, ganging up. if this happens again take it with the teacher. child is a child. when a group of kids join she will feel weak. you have to go and back her up.

my son was bullied in new place. my DH does not like that , he told him to be assertive and will support if there is a fight too. he used to watch him for sometime in his walk and slowly that helped my son make new friends. dh put him in martial arts, some kids from the apartment also go. when they saw my son progressing in belts, things change.

as parent you have to back your kid to fight back. just accepting hey i like my shoes is good but you must also tell her to stop accepting such comments and say loud.

sorry if i sound rough, but you are her support. if this kid is bully and her mom does not correct her, ask her to be assertive and support her. if it does not improve end that friendship . make new friends or take her to different activity places .

sanjuruby3 · Dec 14, 2021

Well, my life is super hectic with my younger one always crying and sick.
We did not put her in anything extra for extra work of loading/unloading/shuttling. When 2nd one was born, i had put her in dance (pre covid) and i was doing job of pick/drop with least interest from H. Now, H wants to put her in classes, i do not bother much because of increasing burden on me and fear of covid mainly.
Now again with cases rising in our area, i am scared.
She was in online drawing classes.

lavani · Dec 14, 2021

sanjuruby3 said: ↑

Well, my life is super hectic with my younger one always crying and sick.
We did not put her in anything extra for extra work of loading/unloading/shuttling. When 2nd one was born, i had put her in dance (pre covid) and i was doing job of pick/drop with least interest from H. Now, H wants to put her in classes, i do not bother much because of increasing burden on me and fear of covid mainly.
Now again with cases rising in our area, i am scared.
She was in online drawing classes.
Click to expand...

I am very sorry to hear. it is hard without both the support. hope it becomes easy once the younger one grows up.

Rihana · Dec 14, 2021

sanjuruby3 said: ↑

Now, I want to protect my daughter and make her strong and not be affected by these silly things. Kids will do that and it is part of life, will help her grow and she will always encounter such bully people.
Click to expand...

Your threads show how much you care about your kids, try to identify the right thing to do, and then put your all into doing that.

Bullying or bossy friends, classmates are going to be part of life like you say. You cannot make her unaffected by these experiences. What you can do is help her learn how to bounce back faster. That's all we can do as parents. Use each event as a learning moment. As she deals with X and Y, along with some support and inputs from you, she is learning. By the time she is 9 or 10, she will have her own set of ways of dealing with these situations.

Try not to see your childhood insecurities in her. And always remember, such things are way harder on the mom than they are on the child.

Other close family friend Y. She is her best friend but still she/DD feels insecure in front of her. When together, I ask to feed my DD, because she does not eat very well, she screams at me infront of others. Y s mom is feeding her, instructing her what to eat, what not to eat, not touch this sugary thing etc, i do not interrupt much specially when others around, i do nto see what she is eating what not. Only when she does not eat, i offer to feed and she pushes me, even when i ask her should i give u rice or more curry. I ask really politely.
I am trying to understand her behaviour. Now it is bothering me.
Click to expand...

Pick your battles. Given the challenges you have as a parent, do one thing: don't talk at all about food and eating with your daughter when others are around.

Nanali · Jan 1, 2022

Rihana said: ↑

Your threads show how much you care about your kids, try to identify the right thing to do, and then put your all into doing that.

Bullying or bossy friends, classmates are going to be part of life like you say. You cannot make her unaffected by these experiences. What you can do is help her learn how to bounce back faster. That's all we can do as parents. Use each event as a learning moment. As she deals with X and Y, along with some support and inputs from you, she is learning. By the time she is 9 or 10, she will have her own set of ways of dealing with these situations.

Try not to see your childhood insecurities in her. And always remember, such things are way harder on the mom than they are on the child.

Pick your battles. Given the challenges you have as a parent, do one thing: don't talk at all about food and eating with your daughter when others are around.
Click to expand...

Being patient and understanding is very very important.

Log in or Sign up

Train A Kid To Be Strong

indubalram IL Hall of Fame

lavani Platinum IL'ite

sanjuruby3 Platinum IL'ite

lavani Platinum IL'ite

Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

Nanali Senior IL'ite

Share This Page