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Today's fight...

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by klniha, Apr 6, 2012.

  1. RamyaSridhar1978

    RamyaSridhar1978 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi
    Murmur ring , telling a lie!... It may be some past occasions where you may have offended him he recollects that to avoid any disagreements now Poor guy he is trying to make his life smooth .
    Btw try checking you may have been in a wrong time ( note :pms) I guess hence this post!
    No problem even trivial issues seem like a mountains then!
     
  2. GMReddy

    GMReddy Silver IL'ite

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    dear op,

    give space to your hubby to talk to his parents either in your presence or in your absence...

    first of all you should ask why there is such fear in your hubby to phone in front of you...it suggests there is some mistrust between you two...

    i think in this case you should be somewhat lenient...do not bother whether he talks in your absence or presence...

    best of luck...
     
  3. pari86

    pari86 Bronze IL'ite

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    Thats true. I think you are simply overreacting towards your husband.
     
  4. Pranjjal

    Pranjjal Gold IL'ite

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    Yes as Anikha mentioned Vonage world plan unlimited calling has mobile extension but then ur Local phone service should be unlimited otherwise if he had 500 mins plan then again problem occurs.

    Dear klinha just cool down. Can I suggest u one thing start doing meditation it helps a lot to find peace.

    From ur post we can clearly make out, problem is not just bill but u hv tension what they must hv been talking? but then again why r u worrying u should hv confidence and faith in u whatever happens on earth my husband's heart beats for me. Work on this........
     
  5. satchitananda

    satchitananda Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi klniha

    Firstly, I would like to clarify here that no one is trying to bash you. You presented one of your fights and asked everyone what they thought. Based on that people are giving you their opinions.

    Secondly, I would like to share my opinion with you. Although there is a great degree of sharing and closeness in marriage, personal space and a certain degree of privacy is also of the utmost importance. We do not lose our individuality just because we get married. There is no problem or crime in people talking to their parents privately. Many women do and share their woes with their parents. I don't know (as I have not read any of your previous threads or if I have, I don't remember) why your husband may want to talk privately to his parents, but if he wants to, there is no reason for you to object. If it is only the cost factor, then like others above suggested, cheap calls are also available on landline as well as on mobile and you could start using those for international calls.

    Other than that, the reason you got bothered is because you checked on his call history, which you should not have. Having done that, you know he spoke to his parents and not to some outsider. So leave it at that. If he lied, it was because he sensed that you are prying. If he went and murmured inside the bathroom, it was because he did not want you to listen in. So unless you stood outside the bathroom to check, how did you hear him murmuring? These are not healthy tendencies on your part either.

    Let him talk to his parents for however long he likes and let him talk anything he likes. Just ignore. I would go to the extent of saying, if you know he is talking to his parents, just go to another room where you cannot hear anything. You will have your peace of mind and he will have the comfort of knowing that he has his privacy. You have your freedom to do the same with your parents. Try this out and see if and how things change.
     
    6 people like this.
  6. klniha

    klniha Bronze IL'ite

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    Satchitananda,

    See, you also preach thet same thing, let him talk to his parents for how long he wants to etc... Tat I feel like bashing coz I NEVER STOPPED HIM nor said a word that he shouldn't be talking o his parents or that long. I don't know from wer he got the impression and so do u all. I also participate in his talks with them. I am guessing coz of past fights between mil and me he feels so, but I can't help it, I have let them pass, it's on his part to understand I moved on... And regarding hearing wat he murmured, I was in the room with my baby, he was in the bathroom with door open washing his face while he murmured nd I cud hear without any prying.
     
  7. sravanitenali

    sravanitenali IL Hall of Fame

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    Is he questioning you when you are talking to your parents...??? and telling u to save money on mode of talking whether recharge card or land line....??? or is he asking what you spoke to your parents on call basis...or is he guessing that whether you are talking against him with your parents..????

    Do you have anwsers to these questions...??
     
  8. klniha

    klniha Bronze IL'ite

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    yes, I have answer to all your questions.
    I never did these too. And regarding how to save money on calls, we both discuss.
     
  9. ManjuSiva

    ManjuSiva New IL'ite

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    Klniha

    IL friends are really trying to help u in a lot of different ways.

    I can understand your feelings and frustrations. If I were in your position and had asked suggestions in a forum like this, the first thing I would do is keep my opinions and thoughts aside and heed to the replies. Please do not get offended, nobody is saying you are wrong. Everyone is trying to reach you with different ideas and its upto you to listen to them. If you keep saying there is no fault in me and my husband is wrong then no use of asking their opinion.
     
  10. klniha

    klniha Bronze IL'ite

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    Manju,

    I guess clearly my communication skills suck. Wat I'm trying to say is I want to know why ppl think I'm stopping my h from talking to his parents, I am asking for a justification, never said their opinions are useless or something I don't want to hear. In fact most of my replies , the posters feel bad for being rude but I say it's ok and that I take it as a elder sis telling me. It's just that here I need a justification. I am absolutely ok with him talkin to his parents and for however long he wants to.

    Hope I made this clear at least now.
     

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