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Today I am a Successful girl:)

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by dream.girl, Dec 20, 2009.

  1. dream.girl

    dream.girl Silver IL'ite

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    When I started writing this thread I was thinking where to start .As my life is not a staright road where things has changed quite fastlyin the last 4 years, which has changed my life forever.Coming to my background I am simple and Naïve girl who like studying, having fun with friends and enjoying life....that was it til last 4 years..suddenly everything has changed when I got married in 2005..Lot of Problems before and after marriage …lot of fights between elders....didnot even allow me to say bye to parents.. In laws abusing about Parents as they are not satisfied with the marriage rituals and gifts...husband(now ex) started giving lectures how a dil cum wife should behave in their family..rules..regulations..hmmm what not..Then stepped in to a alien country in a month of marriage..No one to talk..husband left me on the next day itself in friends place..slept seperately almost for 2 weeks as he was angry on me and my parents..started telling how I good wife should be..fights, abuse(Physical and mental abuse)….Threat to send back to India..or give divorce If I don’t listen whatever he says. After a while got admission in M.S..It was a very new area to me..husband promised to help me but he did that with lot of tauntings..branded me that I am a piece of waste who cannot do anything..
    Went to India 4 years back..again fights between him and me and it got extended to Parents..He left me alone in India saying that he wants to stay separately for few months.Said to everyone in India that I wont take care of him, do not cook, do not study well, sleeps a lot, became fat..He challenged that I will never graduate from my master’s..
    Even though I dared to go to his house in foreign country, by the time I reached he shifted his place and gave a notice period of couple of months to vacate the house.I was left alone, no one to talk, sleepless nights, crying till midnights, undergone in to depression, anxiety problems.Tried to contact him but refused to meet me, sent divorce papers, went back to india begged his parents and him..but of no use..
    I decided to continue to go back from India to foreign country and continue my studies. I could not concentrate because of disturbance in personal life. Gone around court and lawyers for 1 yr to stop divorce but in vain because of this country rules…completely was in depression till last year..
    Got final divorce, decided to move on then..Started studying again writing the exams again and again but did not pass..even though I did not stopped writing..went to psychiatric counseling and started taking anti-depressants..After many trials I passed my exams..(My lecturers also got tired of me).Luckily I got my Project under the supervision of our group leader..completed doing extra credits than required Then the Financial Problems..visa problems started killing me…found a part time job to support myself..also got scholarship from the university..I was not able to buy even proper clothes..went to second hand shop to buy required things..suffered with different flatmates behaviour.In this whole scenario the people who supported me emotionally and financially are my mom and dad.Started thinking about the future…thought of doing another master’s as of not confident of getting phd because of less grades in couple of subjects.Started searching for Master programmes..then one day by God’ grace I saw a PHd position in europ’s top university and also a world famous university. Decided to call that Professor and fixed a meeting with that him..He was so excited to see my CV..saying that he is waiting for an applicant like me having studies in two different background as the his Project need it...With in an hour of discussion he Said that “from now you are my student and this Position is your’s”..I was completely surprised moreover shocked..couldn’t believe it.
    I am going to Graduate in couple of months and will start doing my Phd, in my favourite field.
    Today I am a successful lady, My parents, friends, relatives are very proud of me and they were completely surprised that I did it everything single handedly..Now I can live anywhere in this world and also can tackle different people.
    I am no more that old naïve girl but transformed myself in to a brave , smart and beautiful girl. I thank my ex that he has left me If not I would have never explored myself and become successful..If my ex comes to know that I am going to do my doctoral studies he will go red with jealous.
    My life has turned in to different turns in last 4 to 5 years and by god’s grace now I can sleep well at nights saying to myself that can take care of myself very well..
    I request the girl’s who are in abusive marriage please do not continue living like that..fight for your rights..Marriage is just part of your life but not life..and we get in to it..to start a new life but not to end life...We all deserve a good life with an understanding Partner

    Hugs,
    dg..
     
    Last edited: Dec 20, 2009
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  2. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    DG

    Bravooo Dear!!!! Hearty Congratulations to you...
     
    1 person likes this.
  3. NAYA

    NAYA Senior IL'ite

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    congratulations!

    Wishing you all the best for your Phd.

    NAYA
     
  4. libra4164

    libra4164 Silver IL'ite

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    You ARE a Dreamgirl :thumbsup,
    Your short story imparts all the pain and feelings you underwent throughout your life.Very few people have the guts to do what you have done. Most of the time we blame our fate and carry on living;walking on egg shells. I am sure many girls will have the courage to stand up for themselves and not take abuse from either spouse or in-laws or anybody for that matter.
    Hope and wish you, success and all the best for future.
     
  5. drjp

    drjp Senior IL'ite

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    Congratulations!!!!
    :clap:clap:clap:clap:clap:clap:clap:clap:clap
    Very well done, I remember your earlier posts. You definitely have transformed and should be proud of it.

    Good luck on your Ph.D.
    drjp
     
  6. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    DG dear,

    Good to hear from you.

    Your post though talks about lot of your trials, does ooze of confidence of the new butterfly that has emerged.

    way to go. congratulations for getting into doctoral studies. wishing you all the best for everything. may success and happiness join you all the way.:thumbsup

    happy for you dear.
     
  7. vaidehi

    vaidehi Silver IL'ite

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    Heartiest Congratulations Dream Girl ! Very proud of u...... u made ur parents proud and most of all u believed yourself ......Thats the secret of your sucess.
    My prayers for many more success to you in future ....All the Best !
     
    Last edited: Dec 20, 2009
  8. ChillPill

    ChillPill Junior IL'ite

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    OMG....
    YOU POST SAYS MOST OF WHT IS HAPPENEING TO ME IN MY LIFE RIGHT MOW... I FELT MY LIFE TO BE AN END... BUT SURPRISED TO SEE YOUR POST & TO SEE SUCH A BRAVE GIRL OUT OF ALL THESE TRAUMA'S WHICH MOTIVATES ME BIG TIME....
    WISHING YOU A BLESSED & HAPPY LIFE AHEAD.
    GOOD LUCK WITH UR PHD
    :thumbsup
     
  9. rosenav

    rosenav Silver IL'ite

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    You are a true inspiration!!!

    Wish you all the best for your future.
     
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  10. ALPA

    ALPA Platinum IL'ite

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    Well done dg, congrats on you success.

    love
    alpa:cheers
     

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