Hi friends, I am a regular reader of post and am active is many other posts in IL. But today I m in this section putting a problem to be answered/adviced by you'll. I am a working mom of a 2 yr old kid. I always wanted to be a SAHM after my DS was born, but as my DH was not willing to give up on my sal. (which is not a very hugh amount) I conti. to work. We have a v.gud nanny to take care of him. Now the problem is my DS goes to playschool from 9.30 - 12.30 so we asked our nanny to come only for half day and hence sal reduced for her. She is not ready for thatand final decision was that she will stop coming from next month. I tried for 2 yrs to manage the house somehow, it was ok, but i m not ready for putting my DS in daycare. Not sure how he will coup up. So for past 2 - 3 days strongly thinking for taking a break from my job for 2 - 3 yrs. Any suggestions on this. Is this a good decision. One morepoint i m not a very ambitious lady with regards to my job. Any advice is welcome and will help me analyse my situation and mindsset.
If both ,you and your husband is willing to go with the option of taking a break,then I suggest go for it. Or you can give a trail run for a month by taking vacation and still keeping your nanny with you. If the maid salary without the pay cut , is a fraction of your current salary ,then you can still keep her ,as you said she is very good ,until your kid reaches 3 yrs or so. You are the best analyser of your priorities,want to spend time with your child or the good job you have now. Good luck
Its quiet simple, since you are not able to manage on your own, and your husband is not willing to let go your salary, the only option left for you is to share your household chores equally with him. Ask the nanny to stay back full day, and pay her the amount you used to pay her before. While you both are away from home she will look after the house and your son,after you both are back from work, distribute the work equally between the two of you, ask him to cook dinner while you take care of your child. Men can't eat their cake and have it at the same time! If he wants your salary, he should be willing to take up domestic chores, and attend to your child's needs equally!!
Dear abhigail! You are the best judge of your situation.If you want to work because you like it,work,not because it gives you extra money-Since you can work later in life & earn money but precious moments with your kid-those wont come back.Also first few years a child's immunity develops,better if you are around & make him get good immunity,good food,play etc... If you have to work yes your Hubby has to involve in house hold chores-its not the seventies thing where women slogged at work,slogged at home also-If no maid then divide chores-remember raising a kid is entirely mother;s responsibility.No good if you spoil your health ,etc..
Many people like to work not because of the money involved but because they like to work. I believe if you are motivated by the willingness to work, then you should discuss it with your husband and start working. You can also work from home if you like. There are a few jobs that allow you to work from home. Or start a small online business and be a home-preneur.
Thanks all for ur suggestions/advice. As many side, I tried to conti. working when DH said he is ready to help. But he is not able to help me much with any of the household work, due to his workload and plus he has never been comfortable with househols chores. But now problem is my DS is always crying for attention when i m back from work and my DH reaches home only by 11.30pm by then my DS is asleep. So i have to manage cooking dinner, attending to DS and sometime attend extended office meeting calls alone, which is becoming a pain since DS is always active and talking or typing on my laptop. So not sure if i can conti like this for long.
OP, what is your hubby's stand now about your decision to leave job......I mean few yrs back he was not happy but now is there any change.......hubby's support is very important as once you leave job you will be dependent on him for all expenses & if he is not happy with your decision it will be constant cribbing from him. you have been paying the nanny full pay in past & now because your son has started school you want her half time but remember you will need her full time if your child is sick or has holidays from school .......then you will need full time help. why don't you ask her to start cooking or doing someother household chores when your son is in school.....that way not only you are getting help to run house smoothly ,has someone to take care of your son who he is comfortable with & are providing employment to somebody......... lastly, as your hubby has so long hours & he rarely gets time to spend with your son it would be beneficial for your child if atleast one parent is spending more time with him .in a way it will be beneficial for the whole family but as someone said that we don't work just for salary but may love work or it meets our social needs(like we make friends) or is moral boaster(non working woman are looked down in present day India) so you need to see that are you okay to leave all that & are strong enough not to care what people say................take time & choose wisely.
By any chance, could you try for part time job ? Some companies do give options for reduced work hrs. You could check with your HR on this. Also opt for a maid to come in the evening for 2-3 hrs for household chores & next day meals.
Hi All, thanks for all the suggestions. I was away for a family function and didnot get chance to respond. Justmyself, I am also thinking on that line. I would be checking with my HR for more flexi timings or parttime job. Lets see what is the outcome.
