Hi everyone, I have been a silent reader of this group since my last post here. There have been quite a lot of changes in my life since then. Long post... We had a love marriage 8 years ago. We both were born and brought up in Delhi, but he is originally from Kerala (his Parents have now moved back). Ever since we got married, there has been a friction between me and his parents (esp. my late Father in Law). My FIL was a very egoistic man. He believed men are superior to women and had told me the same on my face, a 100 times. He also believed that women should be controlled by their husbands. We never shared a good relationship, and last year he passed away. Ever since, my MIL is alone in Kerala, while we live in the Europe. Due to Covid restrictions, we couldn't bring her here till now. I come from a middle class family and my parents are originally from Uttarakhand. Both my Mom n Dad, worked equally hard to give me good education and have a decent lifestyle. In our house, men and women were treated equally and same was reflected in my parents relationship as well. I was 19 when I met my husband, and got married when I turned 23 (which I now think was quite early). We both had a very smooth relationship prior to marriage, we speak Hindi at home and are not very religious people. Fast forward to 2018, when our daughter was born. Ever since then, my husband kind of had a postpartum depression. His parents are financially and emotionally dependent on him and he only felt more responsibility burden on him since our daughter was born. Both of us work and earn decent salaries. Towards Sept 2018, my husband started disliking his job and started to aspire either having his own business or a management position. He loves his daughter but won't do much for her. I feed her, give her a bath, wash clothes, buy clothes, buy her toys, search for daycare, play with her, take her out etc (since 3 years now). He would basically just pick her up and drop her at the daycare. Since May 2020, he started going into depression and in July he lost his father. Since then, we have had huge changes in our life... - He hates his profession (as it was his Father's ambition not his). - He has moved into Art & Photography. The photography style he moved to is called 'Boudoir' and 'Fine Art Nude'. I had troubles accepting this change and still have sometimes. I know he is an Artist and it was his father who had curbed this talent of his all his life. However, its little difficult for me to be able to see my husband click nude women. - I also started to style these women and kind of liked the whole experience. - His mother is meanwhile alone at their native place, and I speak with her only ocassionally (you can call me a bad person, but I simply find myself not connected to her because of the language barrier and the kind of narrow minded woman that she is). My husband also has problems why I don't speak with his sister who actually skipped our wedding and really never bothered to call or message us. NOW, my husband says---- - He is tired of speaking Hindi with me - He doesn't like our daughter talking to my parents most of the times and not to his folks - Me trying my daughter to speak in Hindi - I did not make efforts in talking to his sister and making relationship - I am a Bitch to keep him far away from his relatives and culture (I don't understand why I should feel responsible for this?) - He basically hates the institution called Marriage and wants to get rid of the obligations and responsibilities by just paying me off! - He wants to live his own life free of any worries about family - He doesn't feel connected to our daughter because she is always searching for her Mom and is more close to me - He just wants to live with his Mom and pursue his passion and life Why I don't agree for a mutual divorce --- - I supported him throughout his passion for the Boudoir photography. - I don't want my daughter to suffer in custodial battle between parents and with sharing of responsibilities - Tolerated his worst moods and made him feel better every time - Accepted him as he is - Never forced him to maintain relationship with my folks (its always his will) - I want my daughter to have both parents and a stable family until she is at least 15 year old - I think his behaviour is temporary, since he is depressed. If I want a divorce, I guess I want it to be a little UNFAIR. I want him to give me whole custody of my daughter, we change her surname and he gives me the house where we currently live. These are a few of my conditions which I am thinking of. My question is, Has anyone had a divorce and can advice me in anyway? About the child? about other factors I should consider during the divorce? What should I do - take a divorce at all? Or will he get better when he comes out of depression? Please help!