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Time Travelling - To Re-start Life Again

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by SGBV, Jul 28, 2022.

  1. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    If you could time travel & re-start your life all over again, which part of your life you would want to change?

    I know, unfortunately this is not an option in real life. But if at all, I get a chance I would pause in 2009, and re-start everything afresh.

    My life was simple, smooth and everything was on my control before 2009. It was just one foolish decision I made in 2009 turned my life upside down.

    The decision was to resign my work, move back to home to live with my H & in laws, instead of continue to push him to join me in abroad.

    Had I stayed in the job in abroad, I would have climbed my career ladder much easily and gained a top position well in advance. I am sure, my H would have joined me too, perhaps a year later. Because leaving me and a well secured life in abroad wouldn't be his choice either.
    This would have given him an option to stay away from his evil parents before they interfered & damaged our marriage life.

    Nevertheless, a decade later, we are at a place where we wanted to be. But the struggle could have been avoided had I made a wise decision then.

    The time lost is never regained. We have not just lost the precious time, but our youth, money, career, health and major relationships in the process of recovering.
    At last, we are happy that we have recovered and leading a much stable life today.

    If given a chance, at which point in life would you press the pause button to revise & re-start life again?
     
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  2. sociallifein30s

    sociallifein30s Silver IL'ite

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    I dont know if life would have taken the course I imagined it would if I stopped. But I would have stopped in 2008, not married the arranged marraige guy. and waited or pursued the guy I liked. Now whether that would have led to marriage or not is a secondary thing. But I would hope it would and I experience love. Not someone loving me but I loving someone and doing little things for them ...
    Again in 2018, I was in a similar situation. I liked another guy. He came home about 400 miles. We had a moment. But before it was culminated into anything nice, it passed. Neither of these guys could take a decision. But I think I would have taken care of them like mom takes care of dad (cliche, but you know what I mean). I loved getting him chai to his desk while he was working. Such old fashioned, but I just loved it. MInd you, I was super busy and was in the same group. I had a big team dependent on me. but still I liked the thought of "hes busy" and doing things for him. Once we were on the same call, taking it from my home. I was also answering questions but I brought him tea to the table twice. ughh ... we women are so stupid sometimes... arent we?

    Now married to a guy who has ED and tryign to somehow pop out a child. I feel like God owes me big time. I never got the love I deserved. Or maybe the times I spent with these guys is the love I deserved.
     
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  3. Amica

    Amica IL Hall of Fame

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    My twenties.

    My beautiful, brilliant, hard-working classmate had been quiet for a couple of days. This was unusual for her. She was usually a bubbly, vivacious, fun-loving person. I noticed the change in her, made a mental note to have a chat and see if she was okay. But I procrastinated. That talk I planned never happened. A day later, we lost her to suicide.

    I would give anything to have that day back. I wish I could go back and have that chat. I wish I could go back and be the friend she needed in that moment.

    I wish Life offered pause, rewind and re-play buttons.
    .
     
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  4. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Amica,
    Hugs. This is such a huge burden to carry. I’m sorry for your loss. I hope you have been able to get some measure of closure in the ensuing years.
     
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  5. 1Sandhya

    1Sandhya Platinum IL'ite

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    @Amica yikes! That’s tough! My sympathies.
     
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  6. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    So far no events that make me wish for the rewind button. But if I did have the chance, I'd use it for one or both of these:
    - Go back in time and heed my then best friend who advised against giving money without being clear on the terms of the loan/ gift /charity.
    - Not let a particular friendship break. No regrets over other lost friendships, but this one can haunt to this day. Though fortunately it haunts much less as I did all I could to revive it. Oh well, her loss too. : )
     
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  7. drdiva

    drdiva Silver IL'ite

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    SGBV.. i would like to pause in 2008-9 like you..
    Same thing ..could have avoided living with inlaws ..I had to suffer a lot bcoz of them
     
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  8. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    @SGBV,

    I was 35 years old at that time and was the Chief Financial Officer of a premier R & D organization in India. I had an incident of young engineer having a brain tumor that was malignant. After he learned about the diagnosis, he came back quietly and didn't say anything to anyone. His roommate figured out something wrong and called the oncologist who was consulted by this young engineer who was designing a chip for a high-performance parallel computer. The doctor shared the information with his roommate who promtly notified the R & D organization. I know all young engineers quiet well as it was a small organization at that time. I have arranged for further treatment for him with an arrangement for the R & D organization to pay for his treatment. In the meantime, I have notified his family in Chennai who promptly came to visit him. They decided to stay with him as he was suffering from advanced stage of cancer. So far everything went well and this engineer was very appreciative my support including daily visits to his house.

    On one day, the doctor who he was consulting informed us that he has reached a stage where he needs to take complete rest and shouldn't be working. In consultation with his mom and the CEO of the R & D organization, we decided to give him long medical leave for him to rest knowing fully well, there is no recovery possible. He was upset with me that I forced him to leave the job he was enjoying and he wanted to work as much as possible. He was already having double vision.

    He came to my office an shouted at me for his heart's content and I patiently listened to him while his mom standing behind him had her hands together asking me to forgive him for his attitude. I didn't say a word. He left for Chennai and within 2 months he passed away.

    I was forced to choose between emotional vs rational decision. The doctor's advice was for him to leave and rest in his home town whereas the engineer wanted to work until he became bedridden. This incident haunted me for a long time questioning my decision to let him rest at his home town. Many of my colleagues said it was a right choice and his mom pleaded with me to let him go home to Chennai.

    Now when I volunteer in the Hospice, they say quality of life is their focus and let the patient's decide what they like to do. I didn't have that maturity at that time. If I had that knowledge, I would have perhaps let him stay and work as long as he wanted. However, the R & D organization supported his medical expenses until he passed away.
     
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  9. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    I don’t necessarily want to change the past, since I believe our present is the sum total of the way events in our lives have unfolded.
    But if I had a way-back machine I would travel back to 1985, when all the significant elders of our family were still with us. I would pray for my tween self to be given the wisdom to appreciate their presence in our lives, and be able to tell them how much I loved them, instead of taking it for granted that life as I knew it would always keep rolling along.
    Just one day.
     
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  10. Amica

    Amica IL Hall of Fame

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    1Sandhya likes this.

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