Time travel into future.You are a MIL tooo...

hmmm Interesting idea...
I have one son. He is whole world to me. currently i am totally dedicating my life, time and efforts for him. I am not sure how much my DH will support me for my kid's education but i think i can be able to accomplish it with or without DH... But once my responsibility towards my kid is done and y kid has enough strength to face the world i think i should start a new chapter of my life rather than getting more involve in his life and family. I will do what i always wanted to do and was not able to do before. Right now i am IT consultant and need this job to save up for my kid's education. But i always wanted to teach in small village. May be I will try the same. I also wanted to have a house by ocean.. So may be if i have enough money after paying my son's education rent/buy a small house/condo in quite village and get a humble job there...Oh yes! I am planning to work till i can, but it will be not for money it will be for joy and satisfaction... it till keep me occupied and more involve in society....

You will regret the things you did not do rather than the things you did .
In the end looking back what do you think? are you satisfied with the way life turne out or not? I guess for me answer should be yes as i tried to do what i wanted to do my best...

 

I have two boys. I promise myself not to become a female voldemort or popularly known as "you know who".

On a serious note I have great appreciation for the sensitivities that goes into raising daughters, I constantly keep myself in check so I don't become rough on the edges dealing only with boys. The best gift I can give my kids and their future wives would be to be healthy(physically, mentally and emotionally) and not carry any kind of emotional baggage and dump it on them.

 

I totally agree with this. I plan to take their lead in how much they want us in their life. I like my privacy & will respect theirs. I also believe if you teart dil like a family member rather then an outsider it makes a difference. My Aunt is great at this. When ever she has to talk about any matter she takes to her DIL. She calls HER to plan any thing. They live about an hour from each other. She never and I mean never talks bad about her.What ever short comings the dil has are unknown to all relatives. I have to say that same goes to my Ils they have never said anything bad about me to any of their relatives. If they think I need to make some change they will talk to me privately & the world knows me only as wonderful dil I am They praise me & co-sister all the time.

 

Rightly said Ri.

 

well it seems so far off!!! but years will fly by like minutes and I will be mother in law. The thought is not scary at all, may be never thought of pondering on that issues just yet.
Got couple of friends who call their mother in laws by the first names , this experiences seems unconventional and somewhat uncomfortable at the moment but god knows when my daughter in law refers me or calls me by my first name I will be fine with it or Not?, time will only tell.

 

Pls pass on those tips to us.... Would like to raise our dd like this too....:bowdown

 

I wouldn't have to look so far ahead. May be another 4-5 years. If I had a son, I would make it clear from the outset that they should have a roof of their own. It could be another apartment in the same complex, building or wherever they can find a place of their own which would be upto my son and dil to furnish and turn it into a "home" or nest of their own. I would prefer to have a healthy distance. I would be myself with my dil. If I were visiting her home, I would offer to help and ask her what she wanted me to do. If she preferred to do things herself, fine, so be it. If they were visiting me, I would look after them. No problems there. Once I reached a point where I needed to be "looked after" I would move to a retirement home where there are all facilities for the elderly. My present home would be sold and that plus savings would help me find a place. If I were still healthy, I would engage in some activities. My grandkids would be most welcome to come and I would help look after them if my son and dil so wished. I would keep myself busy the way I am now - reading and chatting with all of you on the forums. :-D That's it I guess. I would hope my dil would appreciate my non interference and not term it my "selfishness", my "indifference" etc. just as I hope that she would not consider my offer to help as "intrusiveness". I would hope we could have a friendly relationship where we can trust and like each other. I shall not expect her to "love" me the same way she does her own parents. I would hope my relationships with her parents and family would be very cordial.

I guess an attitude of Live and Let Live would go a long way in maintaining a happy relationship.

:rotfl All this is like the story of Mungeri Lal ke haseen sapne. There is no son and all these plans. Good one Satchi, dream on. :biglaugh

 

We don't have kids yet but I still dream of the days I'd be an MIL. How much ever I try to convince myself that I'd be good and all, a doubt crops up that who knows what might happen then, I pray I never turn evil so as not to see where lies my children' happiness.

Anyway, I'd plan my retirement well to stay away from their lives.