Till Eternity

We always get carried away by emotions. I totally agree with the comment of Hari ji, what if the husband goes first? Our society always applauds the woman sacrificing herself for others and creates such an image for an ideal woman, wife, mother etc. If she just for a moment thinks about herself, she is branded as being selfish. The funny thing is that no one else takes care of her interests, hidden desires, aspirations even remote ones, yes generally. She is taken for granted to be strong, supportive always, come what may..they ( esp. men and people who hold the ideal womanhood of India as their view)just don't care about what happens to her after her husband passes away. Except of course for some like Hariji. Sons unpredictable if under the spell of his family of wife, kids etc. And I wonder why the award of finest post at the cost of the indian ideal woman, not to speak of the ideal Tamil woman, ! I have to thank my fortunes that I have a spouse who nurtured me with encouragement, support in spite of all tough situations we faced together. Or else I cannot even imagine my sad plight in such a male dominated and biased society. And in a predominantly women forum by a man? Again as I mentioned earlier, we are an emotional society.

 

This is what I got from Google_

"According to the 2011 census of India, there were 5.6 crore widowed people in the country, with women making up almost 78% of that total. The age distribution of widows was:

• 10–19 years: 0.45%
• 20–39 years: 9.0%
• 40–59 years: 32%
• Above 60 years: 58%

The 2011 census also found that 36.47 million widowed women were aged 45 or older, which was 29% of the total number.
India has the largest widow population in the world, and widows in the country often face difficulties due to negative social attitudes and restrictions. These restrictions include patriarchal customs, religious laws, and discrimination in inheritance rights. Many widows also suffer abuse and exploitation from family members, often in the context of property disputes.
At the time of the 2011 Indian Census, there were 43 million widowed women in India, a population comparable to a mid-sized country (Government of India 2011). In fact, 7.4% of all Indian women are widows compared to the mere 1.8% of Indian men who are widowers (Government of India 2011)"

This can also be because there is age gap between wife and husbands, say 5-10 years. While blessing a bridegroom- Saubhagyavati Bhav- is said. (indirectly meaning die before your husband). We have to go and see the conditions of widows in Varanasi and Vrindavan in UP, most of them from West Bengal.
Well, the condition of widowers is not good either but men find ways to adjust mainly because the system helps them. If they are smart enough and own some property all the better.

 

Dear Hari Sir,

It is heart-breaking to read the statistics you have shared. We don't know their economic status. Just imagin if they are lower or middle income group widows, what kind of suffering they would undergo. At least women in higher society, even if they become widow, they will learn how to survive with their wealth.

 

Dear Shri Viswa,
Yes, most of them will be from lower or middle-class families. However, women with wealth face another issue, children and relatives harassment. Life in senior homes is good but how many can afford it?

 

And she was a Queen. In her empire, many widows might have been suffering. And let us not forget the practice of Jowhar (women in Rajputana empires committing suicide once they were told that the enemy had won.)
All said and done, our society has been very unkind to women. There are so many references in Geetha and Ramayana to this effect. I had posted a snippet on this, long back.