Tickle ur FUNNY BONE....

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by Moonbeams, Jan 3, 2008.

  1. Moonbeams

    Moonbeams Bronze IL'ite

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    A leaf out of a book

    A little boy opened the family Bible, and looked at the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible.
    He picked it up and looked at an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages.
    “Mama, look what I found!” the boy called out.
    “What do you have, dear?” she asked.
    With amazement in his voice, the boy replied, “I think it’s Adam’s suit!”


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    Empty cans

    A little boy went up to his mother one day while holding his stomach and said, "Mum, my stomach hurts." His mother replied, "That's because it's empty, you have to put something into it!"
    Later that day when the Priest was over for dinner, the Priest began to feel sick. Holding his head he said, "I have a very bad headache!"
    The little boy looked up at him giving him the sweetest smile that any little child could give. Then he said, "That's because it's empty, you have to put something into it!"


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    Putting the world together

    A father who was trying to read a magazine was being bothered by his little daughter, Jane. So, he took a sheet out of his magazine, where the map of the world was printed. He tore it into small pieces, gave it to Jane, and said, "Go into the other room and try to put this together."
    In a few minutes, Jane came back and gave him the map correctly fixed together. The father was very surprised and asked how she had finished so fast.
    "Oh", she said, "on the other side of the paper is a picture of Jesus. When I got Jesus in His place, then the world came out all right."


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    Sob story

    One day, I saw two little girls crying a lot on a bench in the park. Thinking they might be hurt, I went over and asked them. "Are you all right?"
    Still crying, one girl showed me her doll and said, "My baby's arm came off." I took the doll from the girl and soon fixed her arm. "Thank you." came a whisper.
    Next, I asked her friend, "and what's the matter with you, young lady?" She wiped her cheeks and said, "I was helping her cry."


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    Green lies

    A 4-year-old boy was asked to say thanks before Christmas dinner. He began his prayer thanking God for all his friends, naming them one by one. Then he thanked God for Mommy, Daddy, brother, sister, Grandma, Grandpa, and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began to thank God for the food. He gave thanks for the turkey, the fruit salad, the pies and all the cool cakes.
    Then he paused, and everyone waited -- and waited. After a long silence, the boy looked up at his mother and asked, "If I thank God for the broccoli, won't he know that I'm lying?"



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    Barf Box

    A nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling sick. "Mommy" she said "Can we leave now?"
    "No" her mother replied.
    "Well, I think I have to throw up!"
    "Then go out through the front door to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush."
    In two minutes the little girl came back to her seat.
    "Did you throw up?" her mother asked.
    "Yes" the girl replied.
    "How could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and return so fast?"
    "I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy" the little girl replied, "They have a box next to the front door that says 'for the sick'."




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    Reading and Riting

    One day a mother asked her son, “What did you learn in school today?”
    “How to write,” he replied.
    She then asked, “What did you write?”
    He said, “I don’t know, they didn’t teach us how to read yet.”


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    Game Plan

    An irritated mother asked her naughty child, "How do you expect to get into heaven?"
    The child thought about it and said, "Well … I'll just run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, "For heaven's sake, come in or stay out!"


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    School Daze: 2

    A teacher saw a student crawling into class one day, and asked why he was doing that.
    The boy said, "Because class has already started and you warned us not to dare WALK into class if we were late!"


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    Lion King

    A lion was feeling mean one day and when he met a monkey, he grabbed him and roared, "Who is the King of the Jungle?"
    "You are, oh mighty lion," replied the trembling monkey.
    Next, the lion met a tiger and again he roared, "Who is the King of the Jungle?"
    "You are, oh mighty lion," said the tiger.
    The lion then met an elephant and asked, "Who is the King of the Jungle?".
    The elephant without a word, grabbed the lion with his trunk, whirled him about and threw him to the ground.
    The lion then said in a small voice, "You don't need to be so rough with me, just because you don't know the answer."
    :hatsoff
     
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  2. vivbass

    vivbass Gold IL'ite

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    hahhahaha,last one is superb.:queen
     
  3. daffodil

    daffodil Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Moonbeams,

    Good ones....

    Esp the Game Plan one.
     
  4. Moonbeams

    Moonbeams Bronze IL'ite

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    Thanks Daffodil for enjoying my posts..Hey I was thinking yy don't v open a new thread ''FUNNU SHAIRY or POEM where every one can post their shairi...It will b like chain...I mean more members too will join...What do u say....
     
    Last edited: Jan 6, 2008
  5. Arunarc

    Arunarc Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    hahahaha nice ones moonbeams
    keep posting...............
     

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