1. Have an Interesting Snippet to Share : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

This Second Daughter Was Really Enjoyed!

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by hrastro, Jul 3, 2023.

  1. hrastro

    hrastro Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,548
    Likes Received:
    3,582
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Times have changed, people no longer say beta/beti - they no longer insist on try try try again till a son is born... But there are always some or the other extended family members who raise this question - were you loved as a second daughter?

    My elder sister and her 16yo daughter had visited me last year when my parents and cousin were also here!
    We were all talking about astrology as a science ! And my mother told about an astrologer who said on my first birthday that in 6 months my mom would have a baby boy! And it actually happened! My brother is exactly 1.5 years younger than me.

    Immediately my niece (who also has 1 elder sister, so she is a 2nd daughter too) asks everyone - does that mean that HR pinni (me) was not enjoyed!
    Oh me and my parents as well as my sister and my cousin (10 years older than me) - all of us said no way, there was never any discrimination! All the kids were equally loved
    My niece said - But it happens in many families ! Many people ask about it! First daughter is fine, but the second one is always a disappointment, because they wanted a son!

    And we all convinced her till she understood that she is very much appreciated!
    She is a well adjusted and talented kid - she didnt really believe such nonsense ! she knew she is appreciated, but she is a kid so it probably still hurts her when some extended family members mention it!

    Fast forward to this month - my parents were clearing some old papers and found a letter written by my mother when my brother was 1 month old - she was at her mom's place with my elder sister (4yo) and me (< 2yo) and my just born brother.
    She had written to my dad - almost every sentence was about what I did!

    How I would play with the baby, how I would clap and try to stop his cries, how I would wait till my sister was served before I ate anything, how I would sleep on my sisters lap when moms lap was not available, how I would sing a song to make my brother sleep! Everything was about me!

    Imagine a letter that survived 40+ years and 20+ transfers of a central govt employee!
    Maybe it survived to provide proof to their 16 yo grand-daughter! That in her family, the 2nd daughters are also loved and appreciated!
    God's ways are so wonderful!
    Keep smiling
    HR
     
    Last edited: Jul 3, 2023
    Loading...

  2. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    11,739
    Likes Received:
    12,557
    Trophy Points:
    615
    Gender:
    Male
    Oh so nice message here. I enjoyed reading it.
    This was when I had been to Bangaluru some 48 years ago. I stayed with family of my mother's tution master all kananadikas.
    The lady of the house called loudly "vasantha". I was expecting a sweet girl of 20 +. From upstairs a voice heard "barthënï" ( coming) A lanky thin boy came down.
    A while the lady of the house called "Rāmá" when I expected a boy of 18+. But it was a girl of sweet 18. Actually vasantha is alias for vasanth kumar and Rāmá alias for Rámyá.
    I asked the lady why boy called by girl's name and daughter called by boy's name. She responded saying that they expected daughter but it was boy and second one they desired boy but it was girl.
     
    Sweety2016 likes this.
  3. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    13,410
    Likes Received:
    24,174
    Trophy Points:
    538
    Gender:
    Male
    Girl child is the most precious one in my mind and I consider everyone who has been blessed with at least one if not more of girl children, I will consider them as blessed. My brother and I were born in our family with no sisters. My wife and I have one son and my wife is the only child to my parents-in-law. My prayers to the Lord is to bless my son (whenever he gets married) only with daughters so that I can experience spending time with granddaughters and buy a lot of pink stuff.

    I remember seeing a photograph of mine dressed like a girl (when I was 2 years old) as my mother longed a girl so much. But missing a girl child did not deter us from loving all the girl children we came across in our life.

    A 7 year old girl came with our maid 22 years ago and we were told by my maid that she has no parents and she is raising her as her sister-in-law and her husband passed away when she was young. She called both of us "Appa and Amma" since she was young. We loved this girl so dearly and helped her graduate. She got married and has a lovely daughter of her own (8 years old). But every time we go to India, she spends time with us and we help this family a lot. I feel very blessed every time this girl calls me "Appa". She truly loves both of us like her true parents.
     
  4. Sweety2016

    Sweety2016 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    244
    Likes Received:
    605
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    Vow @hrastro this snippet made my day.

    I am a mother of 2 little daughters. Frozen sisters Elsa and Anna are in the making....they are slowly and steadily becoming the reason for my existence in this universe...I sincerely prayed to god that the first one should be a girl baby and when the doctor announced the gender, I was overjoyed......She is my friend, my cheerleader, and my everything...

    For the second one, I was fine with either gender girl or boy till 8 months. I have even selected names for both... I accidentally (the biggest mistake of my life) saw Gargi movie and was depressed for a few days... that changed my perception altogether. I now wanted a boy badly because the probability of a boy getting harassed is much less than that of a girl, a boy can go wherever he wants even in the middle of the night, a boy doesn't have to bear periods pain every month, no need to undergo labor pain, no need to multitask etc...so many thoughts blurred me from reality and I believed it was a boy even while the baby was coming out....The doctor announced, I precisely remember her tone at the delivery table,' It is a girl baby ma' and I wondered how come? Why did god do this to me? How will my younger daughter survive in this nasty world? 2 girls means double the efforts to safeguard them..what will I do? One thought put all my other skeptical thoughts to rest that moment, 'This little girl has chosen me as her mom and I will stand by her now and forever

    I was skeptical of whether my family would mention a boy and was prepared to be overprotective right from the day I stepped out of the hospital. I was hyper-vigilant and was in over-defensive mode when people came to meet her. I can't hear 1 single word against her...But her arrival was and is celebrated in the family. She is considered a lucky charm of the family as my sister's marriage was fixed 1 month after her arrival...When I came back to the location of the posting, all my relatives in my home town cried requesting me to leave my darling with them for some more months as they will miss her terribly...Our WhatsApp group is filled with her pics and videos..

    Fast forward, it's been 7 months ever since my darling came into my arms and my life has changed in ways I could not comprehend..I joined back to work recently and I can't wait for 3 hours (from 9.00 AM to 12.00 PM) to run 2 km in the hot sun to see her in my office creche. Her smile when she sees me from a distance is worth melting for. All my pain (both physical and emotional) miraculously vanishes when I touch those little fingers..Her babbles, and screeches fill my air with love and peace. I sometimes feel like a warrior who will protect both of my daughters no matter what. I only pray to god that I should not die before they reach adulthood and a state where they are independent and can support themselves.

    My second daughter is celebrated, loved, cherished, and of course, enjoyed!
     
  5. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    11,739
    Likes Received:
    12,557
    Trophy Points:
    615
    Gender:
    Male
    I enjoyed reading this befitting response from you.
    The days of son or daughter first - thought is almost getting diluted with higher awareness of education freely available to many daughters too and they contribute now from being top echelons of big multi nationals. First or second daughter means nothing negative nowadays.
    Here the baby in hospital bed on seeing Maradona with the world Cup

    upload_2023-7-4_11-57-33.jpeg
     
    Last edited: Jul 4, 2023
    satchitananda and hrastro like this.
  6. hrastro

    hrastro Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,548
    Likes Received:
    3,582
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    @Sweety2016 Your response made MY day!

    When I put in a lot of time, effort, emotions, thought - into writing any post - I wonder if I could have used that time to work more on the projects that I'm working on OR create more content for my school ! Because that would benefit lots of kids struggling with maths.

    I stray into IL when my brain gets exhausted, IL rejuvenates me!

    And I wonder if I actually make a difference
    I do wonder if someone is gaining some new perspective, new thoughts, maybe some succour from their fears, maybe some idea that could make their life easier!

    Thanks for acknowledging that! These kind of acknowledgements from the members (I know several others who appreciate my posts - this refers to all of you) makes this effort seem meaningful

    Lovely to hear your ups and downs as a second time mom

    @Viswamitra ji - yeah daughters are a blessing always!
    I didnt get the joys of having a daughter, as I have one son, but several girls of all ages (from family, friends, students) give me the joy of connecting to me as a sister, aunt, teacher, mentor, guide and friend too!
    The love I get from them is no less !

    Hahaha I think it was common in our previous generation to dress up boys as girls - recently, I shared a b&w pic of my dad in his grandkids group and asked them to guess - none of the kids (10-21 years old) could recognise their granddad in that pic! He was dressed in a half-saree for a high school drama!

    @Thyagarajan ji - hahaha this was hilarious! I hope the kids turned out well!

    My grandpa was the astrologer who predicted the birth of my brother accurately!
    His eldest was a son, followed by 4 daughters. My mom is the youngest!

    When I was around 15, he admitted to me - "I have 4 daughters and 1 son - and in my old age, I depend on my daughters for their love than my son! And I am feeling sad that you will not have any daughters, so you wont know the joy!"

    My grandpa passed away before my wedding and subsequent pregnancy, but I already knew that I was having a son! Because an accurate astrologer had predicted it long ago! And thats what happened too!

    Keep smiling
    HR
     
    Rihana, satchitananda and Thyagarajan like this.
  7. iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    34,596
    Likes Received:
    28,767
    Trophy Points:
    640
    Gender:
    Female
    I am the second daughter but I never felt that as my family treated me nicely and all my wishes were fulfilled. After reading your snippet only I realised I am second. Usually first one is very quiet and second one is opposite. My elder sister is God fearing and always thinking of God. We are just the opposite. I love everything and have so many wishes also.which were fulfilled. Have friends all over the world.
    Though she is very good she always appreciates me and now in the evening of our life as I spend more time with God she says
    You do.so much for God I should do pranam to you
     
  8. hrastro

    hrastro Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,548
    Likes Received:
    3,582
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Yes, I also realized it only after my sister's 2nd daughter was born - There were some extended relatives on her inlaws side who never lost an opportunity !

    Yes, true! My elder sister is also very quiet and I am the more social one... But she turned into Durga + Chandi + Jhansi ki rani after her 2nd daughter was born!

    HR
     
    Thyagarajan likes this.

Share This Page