This is atrue story from the Word Perfect Helpline

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by hasa, Mar 6, 2008.

  1. hasa

    hasa New IL'ite

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    Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations! ):

    Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'

    Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect. '

    Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'

    Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'

    Operator: 'Went away?'

    Caller: 'They disappeared. '

    Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'

    Caller: 'Nothing.'

    Operator: 'Nothing??'

    Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'

    Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'

    Caller: 'How do I tell?'

    Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'

    Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'

    Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'

    Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'

    Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'

    Caller: 'What's a monitor?'

    Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'

    Caller: 'I don't know.'

    Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'

    Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'

    Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.

    Caller: 'Yes, it is.'

    Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were twocables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'

    Caller: 'No.'

    Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'

    Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'

    Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'

    Caller: 'I can't reach.'

    Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'

    Caller: 'No.'

    Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??'

    Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'

    Operator: 'Dark??'

    Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.

    Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'

    Caller: 'I can't.'

    Operator: 'No? Why not??'

    Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'

    Operator: 'A power....... .. A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.

    Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??'

    Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'

    Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'

    Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'

    Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'

    Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'

    :crazy Operator: 'Tell them you're too st------upid to own a computer!!!! !
    :help
     
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