Things U Love & hate about abroad

Right said Cheer.

The single mother concept and pregnancies without marriage are not accepted in India... saying that things are changing would not be completely apt. how many single mothers do you see in India ? one i know of is Sushmita Sen, that is cos she is Sushmita Sen. A normal girl from a middle class family can never do what she has done.

yes many things do happen, I have seen my colleagues having live-in relationships, but those were totally unacceptable by the society and this actually cut their social circle completely and i have seen live-in relationships ultimately ending in marriage within 6 months or a year... why cos they cant handle the pressure from everybody and living like theifs isnt good enough for them. see going against your sanskaars is always difficult... and its not that these sanskaars are harming anybody.

and yes pregnancies before marriage happen to, which end in abortions and so do relationships happen before marriage which dont work out and break up then people move on... we dont know what happens in those relationships... I mean to say here that things happen in India also, but the social net is totally different which makes people come back to their roots.

~Abha

 

Your post made me think about something that happened recently.While we were moving from CA to OH,one of the packers was a Black American aged 39 yrs.Well guess,he has 11 kids.The eldest is 22 and the youngest is 3 mnths.He had his first kid at the age of 17!!!!! Do you think he was married at that age? And well,think of his livelihood.He does not earn much so who provides for all these kids...well,the government and our tax dollars( I will speak like an American here!)

I am not saying that this does not happen in India but it is too common here.

Well,Kamla and Blondie,I am not homesick neither am I brooding...I thank God for having given me the sense to see things as they are-the plus and the minus.I am not wearing rose-tinted glasses and seeing only the best things here.Even when it comes to India,if there is a plus I like to point that out,if there is a minus,I will surely point that out too.

Again,when we talk the minus about U.S,all those who have 'adopted' this place come out fiercely to defend it.Somewhere else I saw someone talking about India,how it has not changed in 30 yrs,bathroom facilities in schools,bus rides,teacher-student ratio etc etc.It goes on.Nobody even bothered to venture there to defend India.Why?? Why not think about the positives there too-the great economic growth and the tons of opportunities that have resulted.What about the standard of education? won't you be willing to give up all the minus for the standard of education that you will be getting?

 

Ya, these people give birth to children thinking that govt. is there naa, to take care of the blunders they have done... and ya our tax dollars are taking care of that.

and I have noticed that on an average every american has 2-3 kids, even the young couples... there is baby boom here... cos mostly people think that our country is rich and will provide us with things why should w worry about planning.

 

Agree with you both Abha & Sunitha. Yeah, out of wedlock pregnancies happen in India too, but what is the percentage of such happenings???

It happens mostly in metros, either in the higher classes of society or in the lower classes. I can vouch for this, having worked in a hospital before, i have seen few out of wedlock pregnancies, but as i said among people who belong to the high society.

India's social structure is still conservative when it comes to marriage, living -in,etc. Parents do keep a vigil on their children & also make it clear about what is acceptable & what is not. Being aware of a strict society sure keeps the young on guard too. Yeah, the people sure have become more open minded when it comes to higher education, going abroad for higher studies/work, wearing western clothes, socializing with the opposite sex, etc.

Arranged marriage is still very much common (though, the way it is conducted, has undergone changes in tune with the changing times)& though nuclear families are the norm with the joint family system nearly extinct, the family is still very close knit.
A survey conducted recently (published in a newspaper )among the Indian teens recently found that, for the teenagers family still came first, they valued the family values taught to them, they felt secure that they had parents to fall back on.
Also a survey conducted among teenagers all over the world showed that teenagers in developing countries like India & China were far happier than their counterparts in the developed countries. Also Indian teens were far more religious & believed in God more than the teens in other countries.

Again, like Sunitha said, it's not about being home sick at all. I'm sure we are all mature enough to understand that every country has it's merits & demerits. No country is perfect. Weighing the merits & demerits, it's entirely a personal choice where a person eventually decides to settle. There is no right or wrong, to each, his own.

Ragini.

 

Dear Sunitha, Abha and Ragini ,

Yes, that's what it comes down to. Every country has its plus and minus points. If everything was so rosy in our India, how do you explain the throngs of people that want to migrate abroad ? Having said that, I also proudly agree that our India has made great progress and its culture is very rich and bountiful. I am forever grateful that I have its soil in me.
Today, we have become a global village. Because of our illustriousness and educated young Indians, we are very sought after people in many countries abroad. The point I am trying to make is...for whatever reason, we do come abroad. Today, the possiblity and the opportunities offered to young people in India is such that one can also stay or go back to India and be content and happy in life. Only, remember, it was not so some years ago. Even now, not all have the oppurtunities in India to live an economically viable life. Many of the young people who have migrated abroad have been the support system for their families back home and have been able to give their loved parents and siblings some economical support. Like it or not, world does rotate on this Vitamin called M !
Having made the decision to live abroad, what good is it to decry the country one has adopted? I keep repeating myself when I say, life is but once. So make the best of whatever is given to you. Looking around here in US where I live, I find many great temples and Gurukulams. Access to them is relatively easy. I see thousands of Indian kids raised here proficient in Indian classical music and dance. Many attend spiritual and religious classes. Balvihars and Bal Vikas is wide spread. Almost all my Indian friends are making great traditional and Indian food and perofrm elaborate pujas. At a certain level, our culture and habits are faithfully maintained. As a matter of fact, my elderly mother who is with me now was totally astonished that she could see such class temple puja peformances from close quarters. In India, only the affluent and rich can afford such facilities.
Ofcourse, there are many exceptions and even if raised in faithful indian culture, many Indian kids opt to marry their local counterparts or even from countries like Korea, Philippines and Ghana. They are truly loving and have no discriminations of any sort...of caste, creed or race. In one way, is it not universal love as per our Hindu dharma? 'Vasudeva Kutumbam' !
Bottom line, if one is ultimately happy to be in India only, of course one should do so. What else can anyone want then be happy with their own lot. But in doing so, it is not necessary to find fault with others. Each to himself. Live and let live.
I do admire your total love to your mother country. Even though I may not go back to my country due to my circumstances ( God alone knows if He has other plans for me!!)....believe you me, I love my home land like you do. Only , I am not blind to the advantages of living in America either, along with its disadvantages

L, Kamla

 

Sunitha,

most of the members have only so much time to be online and within that fixed time it is not possible to visit each and every thread. If you can post the link here to the thread you mention, you can rest assured that i will definitely raise the many positives about life in India in that thread. (not sure about the economic growth though since it hasn't reached all people especially those in the lower strata)

The standard of education you mentioned is only in the private schools. In the public schools (government schools) the teachers hold two fulltime jobs with the same work hours (how is this possible). In my village our school teachers were always accessible to the students IF THEY WENT TO HIS/THEIR FIELD/FARMS(and this was the norm in most villages the populations of which constitute more than 90%)

the credit for the high standard of education mostly should be given to the parents who sacrifice a lot to put their kids in good schools and make sure they do well by paying dearly for the tuitions , entrance preps etc. etc. (and surprisingly the same teachers give a much better standard lessons in the tuition classes than on the job )

 

Well,leave it Blondie,that discussion was started by a new comer and I don't want to be the reason to drive her away now itself!!! :mrgreen: It is related to Chennai Schools though.

Yes,there sure is a difference bet government schools and private schools.This enquiry was for a private school in Chennai and it was from a person here in the U.S.Surely,she is not going to go back and put her kid in a government school;-) . What put me off were the remarks" I hate travelling by bus,I hated the bathroom facilities etc etc ". My question is well,if you hate everything so much ,why go back? When the mother herself does not have a positive attitude when going back to India,what can we expect from the kids?Also,we are having all our arguments/discussions here so why go to that thread and start all over again.We will continue here in full force:2thumbsup:

 

:2thumbsup: Great Sunitha, I like your spirit...

 

Sunitha,

in otherwords you don't want the other thread to have as much fun as we have here....:tongue

what fun is a thread if all that the contributors have to say is a one liners like "I agree with you", "Yes you are right", "My point exactly", "Well said" etc.etc they serve to only increase the tally of reponses.

Never argue but present a different view point.