Things I Am Learning About Marriage

I felt like writing a blog post because my heart feels a bit heavy right now. I'll eventually feel better, but now, because I made some mistakes, I feel bad, and I thought writing it out would make me feel better.

So in no particular order, this is what I have learned in the short time I am married, in no particular order


- If you are suspicious that your hubby is doing something, you will only push him away. Instead, focus on being the type of wifey that every man dreams of .... then you will attract your hubby's heart again

- While during matrimonial correspondence over the several years, I've noticed that the unhappy people, especially the divorced ones were those who were most suspicious of others, who were quick to assume that the other person was out to cheat them, when in fact there was a logical, human explanation for their behavior

- Respect the opinions of elders who had more experience, but understand that opinions are based on one's frame of thinking, i.e. someone with dirty glasses will think everything and everyone is dirty

- Use your own heart and mind to make judgements about hubby. Especially if both of you are from different environments, the way hubby goes through day-to-day life is totally different from you. You may take certain things for granted, but for hubby, there are certain things he may have never heard of

- Be careful what you say to hubby, he may think something and if you are unable to follow through, he will feel sad, and you will feel sad about making him sad, and will regret ever bringing the topic up

- God is bigger than anything in the world. After all, he created the Universe. He bought you and hubby together by moving mountains, creating miracles, do you really think some human being is going to defeat God?

- When God create living beings, he included a piece of himself inside, sometimes referred to as the Self. Remember that you also have the power to turn your life for the positive, that after the rain comes rainbows

- God is always with you. Think about God, meditate upon God and he won't hurt or betray you

- If you are going through a rough time in life, God is testing your faith in him

- Instead of saying, why can't so-and-so be a nicer father, mother, in-law, hubby, ask yourself, how you can be a better daughter, daughter in-law, wifey. Remember, JFK said, "ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country"

I dunno what else to say. Right now, my heart feels a bit heavy. Again, I know I have lots to learn about marriage, and life in general

- Oh yeah, try to visualize what you would like to accomplish and how that will help your family.

- We each contain a different piece of God, so God bought all sorts of people and personalities into our life so that we help each other, i.e. you may need encouragement, moral support for career from one person, another person may help with babysitting your children down the road, etc. So we need to learn to forgive each other for our human flaws and focus on the work needed to be done.

I guess that's it for now.....

 

That is excellent analysis!!!!!!!

I've noticed that people who follow their hearts are more happy and successful in life. My dad advised me to go with my heart when choosing which matrimonial alliance to pursue.

And even Steve Jobs said something along with lines of following our hearts to do something we love, to take chances in life because today may be our last and we are already vulnerable, so we might as well follow our hearts.

And guess what, his company Apple came back to life and we have all these wonderful innovations, because a single human being followed his heart .....

 

There is a saying that in an argument, it is better to be happy than right. So I've noticed there was one time when this happened - actually, my husband let me be right

Oh Gosh! At this point, I cannot imagine a fight .... I am almost scared of having a fight in marriage .... I guess I never saw a healthy fight, like bickering back and forth, then kissing and making up ;-)

 

Believe it or not, I only realized these points now. Just because someone has some flaw, it doesn't mean you discard them from your life. God sent them so they can help you. And you of course are helping them somehow....

 

This would be quite valuable to me. I would like to get better at putting myself in my husband position, to see his point of view, so I can understand him better.