The strange aspect of jealousy

Dear Bro.Sri,

The first response was to your heartful appreciation. And this is for your wonderful writing.

After reading your piece I am tempted to write to Induslady to change the name of your forum. But for your name, the other words do not fit at all. Your writings are not ramblings and they are far from senile.

I am reminded of a proverb which I have been using every now and then when the green monster of jealousy wakes up in me.

The proverb goes like this.

"Beggars are not jealous of millionaires; they are jealous of beggars sitting next to them, collecting a few more coins than they do."

But as far as jealousy is concerned God has been immensely kind to me. Whenever it raises it ugly head, my Lord, sends an antidote in my way.

Two instances are very fresh in my memory. When I started my professional practice, I was focussing on corporate clients. In those days before the advent of computers, that was tough work and there was not much money in it.

My professional friend, because of his father's influence, used to get lot of co-operative audits. I thought he was having easy work and making quite a lot of money. I was just 26, and far more immatured than 18 year olds today.
I was jealous. I did not know how to express my jealousy.
The Good God was watching all this with a mischievous smile. A few weeks laters when we met in a professional seminar, that professional colleague came over to me and said,
"Sridhar, I hear you are doing a lot of work for the corporates. I feel jealous of you. I will be gratefuly if you can assign me some work. I will do it for fee. I am simply fed up with co-operative audits."
I tried hard to supress my tears. And with great difficulty uttered something and got out of the situation.
Many years later when I read a similar story in Herman Hesse's Nobel-prize winning work, Magister Ludi, I recalled this incident and once again expressed my gratitude to the GAOTU for favours already received.
But with all these, Jealousy is still not dead in me. It is just dormant. But now I am aware of somebody watching over me. So I don't care a damn if it wakes up and starts to act.

Thanks Sri for the excellent post and for kindling my memories. As to the W.Bro.Chellham matter, please give me some time. I am a little tied up with a major project. I am also in the process of revamping my time management process and everything looks hazy now.

Fraternally yours,
sridhar

 

Worshipful Brother Cheeniya ,

Re: yr. response to my FB,
my, my , my ! What a long and spirited defense ! Are we touchy !
Seriously, am i not supposed to joke sir ?...ok, so maybe that post of mine was not funny at all and you got provoked.
Just wanted to illustrate a sub theory about the genesis of this j. monster. Most times, we dont even think of another person, however better endowed in whatever manner,when we are revelling in our little mundane delights. And suddenly, a busybody butts in and makes an odious comparison with that other. Jealousy, till then non-existent, takes instant birth and starts belching bile. That was the idea behind my first FB. - which, read now, seems like an assinine cackle.

You may not be jealous of the stalwarts of IL, but I freely admit that i used to get quite envious of this late(r)entrant Cheeniya becoming a celebrity almost overnight, in fact even before he got registered as a member, when Sunkan posted the ramblings "by my friend Sri". Sigh ! But sipping a glass of sour-grape juice, i soon assuaged my "stomach burning" by acknowledging the writing on the PC Screen Wall : Stardom fully justified. Such spontaneity and skills of articulation are not given to all. And I cant even accuse Saraswathi of partiality, she only dispenses the prescription issued by Dr.Karma.

But pray, who accused of plagiarism ? ( - never heard of Trilling Whoever) I am old enough , and have read just enough, to understand the truism that there are only 7, exactly, themes that anyone can write about, ever.

Perk up, Cheeniyasri, you dont have to defend yourself to every Tom,Dick and Manjula. Keep dishing out your delightful take on anything and everything under ( and above) the Sun. Always, such a pleasure to read.

Having said all this, I must add that i am tempted to take offense at the usage of the word Giant in relation to me. Is it my fault that i am bigbuilt ? Sob-sob, boo-hoo......But hey, i will not traumatize a senior citizen, a lovable old goat at that, by imputing wickedness to his intent.... er, no disrespect meant by that goat appellation, honest; i used to use that for my dear grandpa. And yes, the phrase is inspired by/recalled/borrowed/stolen/plagiarised from PG Wodehouse.

rgds
manjula

TDU, good show friend,you cottoned on to nambiyar's diabolic designs and chivalrously played MGR-in-shining-armour to poor rattled Cheeniya.

Varalotti, there is so much lovey-dovey male- bonding wafting around here, i doubt if its even necessary for you all to join any other Brotherhood.

Cheeniya, if you Masons have at last realised that half of the world is of the other gender and have condescended to consider inducting us , kindly put in an application for me too.

 

dear sri

wonderful and so thoughtful a post !!!!!well,if jealousy is not there is us then we becum refined ppl or sadhus na.......as one of the popular saying goes the other part of the river is always green.....:-D

in being jealous of sumone we fail to realise what was the reason tht made them to reach such heights...i truly believe tht nothing cums easy in life and we always need to do our hard work for getting our share of the reward.....but sri,can we make jealously look much more positive....instead of being jealous,we need to work on how and what brought these ppl success and concentrate on our wrk and reach rhe 2nd step atleast if not the 10th step......

anyways, its one quality tht all of us have in us and i think though we try to do away with it,it sumtimes creeps up and shows tht its there in us.....

lov
sowmi

 

Dear Cheeniya,

Here is a list of quotations on jealousy I want to share.

1. Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening.
   -- Maya Angelou
2. Jealousy is nothing more than a fear of abandonment.
   -- Anon.
3. Jealousy is ... a tiger that tears not only its prey but also its own raging heart.
   -- Michael Beer
4. Yet he was jealous, though he did not show it,
   For jealousy dislikes the world to know it.
   -- Lord Byron
5. The jealous bring down the curse they fear upon their own heads.
   -- Dorothy Dix
6. Jealousy, the jaundice of the soul
   -- John Dryden
7. Jealousy is the grave of affection.
   -- Mary Baker Eddy
8. What frenzy dictates, jealousy believes.
   -- John Gay
9. Lots of people know a good thing the minute the other fellow sees it first.
   -- Job E. Hedges
10. There is never jealousy where there is not strong regard.
    -- Washington Irving
11. Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
    -- Erica Jong
12. jealousy is always born with love, but does not always die with it.
    -- François de La Rochefoucauld
13. In jealousy there is more of self-love than of love to another.
    -- François de La Rochefoucauld
14. Jealousy lives upon doubts. It becomes madness or ceases entirely as soon as we pass from doubt to certainty.
    -- François de La Rochefoucauld
15. It is matrimonial suicide to be jealous when you have a really good reason.
    -- Clare Boothe Luce
16. The way to hold a husband is to keep him a little jealous; the way to lose him is to keep him a little more jealous.
    -- H. L. Mencken
17. Jealousy is the injured lover's hell.
    -- John Milton
18. I believe she would be jealous of a find day, if her husband praised it.
    -- Hanna Moore
19. jealousy is the most dreadfully involuntary of all sins.
    -- Iris Murdoch
20. The knives of jealousy are honed on details.
    -- Ruth Rendell
21. Jealousy is the tie that binds, and binds, and binds.
    -- Helen Rowland
22. To jealousy, nothing is more frightful than laughter.
    -- Francoise Sagan
23. And oft, my jealousy shapes faults that are not.
    -- William Shakespeare
24. O, beware, my lord, of jealousy;
    It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock
    The meat it feeds on.
    -- William Shakespeare
25. Jealousy is cruel as the grave.
    -- Ths Shulamite, Song of Songs
26. Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
    -- H.G. Wells
27. Plain women are always jealous of their husbands, beautiful women never are. They are always so occupied with being jealous of other women's husbands.
    -- Oscar Wilde

Regards,

TDU

 

Dear Cheeniya,

I feel that jealosy leads to suspicion and inferiority complex. I can quote two examples from Ramayana and Mahabharatha. In Ramayana, Kaikeyi jealous of Koushaya's son Rama ascending to the throne asks Dasaratha to crown her son Bharatha. She does not stop at that. Suspicion born out of jealousy forces her to insist that Rama should go to forest for 14 years. In Mahabharatha, Duriyodhan asks Pandavas to go for Vanavasam and then refuses to give even a pin-head size land to Pandavas due to suspicion that even with pin-head size land they may grow to capture their lost empire.

On the lighter side, years ago after the release of 'Oli Vilakku' featuring M.G.R, Sowkar Janaki and Jeya Lalitha, there was a open wrangle between the two heroins who were jealous of each other and were writting in Kumudam. Sowkar Janaki ended her piece with 'jealousy thy name starts with J'.

One recent joke on jealousy. Here it goes.

' Do you know that your neighbour has won 10 lakhs in lottery?'
'is it, I am happy'
'What? are you not jealous of him?'
' I heard that he has lost the prize-winning ticket'.

Regards,

TDU

 

Dear Cheenya,

I would like to correct your saying about my posts here as 'active intervention'. I feel my posts are a 'value addition' to an important topic on which you have given mature and well studied opinions. I feel that if a person can laugh at oneself or better still if he or she can be a self-critic there can be no room for jealousy. In that respect, I was laughing at myself 'what you have done is a copy and paste job like kadai thengai i vazhi pillaiyaruku udaikirathu and Sri sir is praising you'.

Regards,

TDU