The strange aspect of jealousy

meeta012 · Jun 23, 2007

Cheeniya Sir,
A wonderful lesson in human psychology

Chitrama,

I loved the "electrcity" analogy...lol..true for about 98% of the populace.

Lovely post...cheeniya sir and good analyses chitrama-so true to life-a mountain far away looks nice coz we don't have to climb it...and in our backyard-even a molehill is irritating....

Warm regards,
Meeta.

Padmash · Jun 23, 2007

hi Cheeniya sir,
this is first time i read ur post and going to read some more. It's really true analysis i liked " It attacks you only when someone close to you has some extremely good thing happening to him. " this i find very true and common nature of jealousy.

padma

PushpavalliSrinivasan · Jun 23, 2007

chitvish said: ↑

Dear Sri,

By saying that you are not generalising, you have smartly made us all confess that we do feel exactly like you.

Do you remember the Onida T V advt, which used to come sometime back
Owner's pride, neighbour's envy ?
It is more than 100 % right.
The dormant devil inside (almost) everyone of us, waits to sneak its ugly head when the concerned person is either near or dear to us. But, we compare ourselves with neither Swaraj Paul nor our own tamil speaking Chennai girl Indra Nooyi. In fact, we are proud that Indians do make it so high in the international scene.

Sri, do you have to repeatedly talk about your 64 yrs of age ? You make me feel guilty that I refuse to talk about my age ! Not that, I will change my ideas & talk about it just because you do it !!

I enjoyed thoroughly your subtle humour on reading the following line
I am rushing through the Hindu being aware of a frantic knocking at the toilet door
Does it not happen in every house regularly in the mornings ?

Leave alone the neighbour building an extra room. If the electricity fails in my house, the first thing I do is to look out at the neighbour's flat. If that is also dark, I heave a sigh of relief. But if the lights burn in their house, I get worked up & frantic, how it could happen. I rush to phone to the E B office.

Well, if you think you are a kind of louse, what do I call myself ?

Love,
Chithra.
Click to expand...

Dear chithra madam,
I also look at the neighbour's house if the power goes off, just to make sure whether it is due to power failure or problem in my house. If they are also in dark, I heave a sigh of relief thinking that it will be attended by EB. On the other hand I will call the EB and will make a complaint . Hence I think you also want to confirm whether the power failure is only at your house. I do not believe that you feel jealous.
Love and regards,
Pushpavalli

Sriniketan · Jun 24, 2007

As things happen to near and dear ones or in the neihgbourhood, it affects us. If it is faraway or to some one else, we just talk about it and move on. This is life.
One of my close friends turned back on me and my family for a simple reason. you know what? I was engaged before her. But she is the one who got married before me because my marriage took place 2 years after the engagement. Did i feel the same as her? no. maybe because I am not used to such feelings or I do believe in VIDHI that made me think like that.
I also agree with the others ilites responses and especially Mrs. Chitvish's response on the current cut situation.

Sriniketan

sudhavnarasimhan · Jun 24, 2007

Dear Cheeniya,

Another good article, and you have made everyone note on their own jealousy tendencies by highlighting the concept of near and far ones .......
But one thougt.....is this jealousy or Envy.....when we are nvious, it passes away, but jealousy lingers on to the extent that it makes one do something wrong if possible against the one whom this emotion is directed. We had discussed this topic long ago here,....and we did come up with various thoughts, why and how and what we can do!
But i still feel a little envy is okay, adds spice and the competitive spirit, i mean if it is positive it should be okay....but we should not let the Onida devil to happily reside in us( though i dont mind, he is a Handsome Devil! he he....)

Tamildownunder · Jun 24, 2007

Dear Cheeniya,

Your analysis is very true. I have read a saying that love, anger and jealousy is common to all people, all times and all ages. I feel that the kind of jealousy called professional jealousy is needed to some extent to advance in our professions. In our office, people appear regularly for promotion and the truth is all people excepting the one appearing will become happy if he does not get it and at the same time all people will be somewhat sad if he gets it. These are manifestations of the jealousy (not professional jealousy but personal). Professional jealousy will make a person also work in the same area and beat his competitor. I feel that getting jealous is natural and getting over it is an achievement.

Regards,

TDU

Cheeniya · Jun 24, 2007

Dear Sharada
This time , you seem to be very sure! Your analogy of an aircraft is quite impressive. Our perception of or reaction to everything happening around us can be negative or positive. It depends on your mindset. I too try not to feel jealous of people nearer to me and I have succeeded to the extent that I dont feel jealous if they buy a new shirt or a new watch but a big winning in lottery is something I cant cope with. No way, madam!
I have already said in my thread that it is too late for me to heed to any sensible advices , having already spent 64 years this way! The ten family conclave in Triplicane where I grew, jealousy used to be the over riding emotion but fortunately for me, I never allowed it to affect my progress but took it as a motivating force!
Your advice to your son is not only timely but is a very significant, life-moulding one. Being young in age, I am sure it will benefit him immensely
Sri

Cheeniya · Jun 24, 2007

Dear Vidya
Yet another FB from you which is a lot better than the original thread! I only raised a question and you have answered it so well and so impressively.
That brings me to the fundamental question. What is that manuscript of yours still doing in the attic? What is stopping you from retrieving it and publishing? Too much cobweb? Dial the Spiderman for help!

If you can come up with such a FB on a very mundane question that I raised, I am surprised that there are not atleast three books to your credit. It is high time that you shake yourself out of your hibernation and put yourself on Achievement Mode!

Only one request though. In your acceptance speech of your Booker, Pulitzer or our own native Sahitya Academy Awards, please include, "Last but not the least, I thank my unseen motivator Cheeniya but for whose timely prodding at my rib, my work would have remained in darkness"

Coming to the contents of your FB relating to Jealousy, it was a wonderful analysis. Isnt it true that if our behaviour, particularly the negative ones, can be explained or rationalised, we feel at peace?
Sri

Cheeniya · Jun 24, 2007

Dear Chithra
Your 'electricity' example was simply great! It has happened to me everytime! And if my neighbour gets it restored ahead of me, my BP always shoots up.

As far my age, I keep repeating it because of my fear that if I dont do it, no one will read my threads. It is my belief that everyone is generally indulgent towards much older people and I am only taking advantage of that indulgence!

Indra Nooyi perhaps makes all the Indras of the world jealous but not me. I know I dont belong to that genre of high achievers. How can I be jealous of Sunitha Williams when I wont climb a even a stool to hang a picture on the wall or change a fused bulb?

I always admire your subtle humour in your FBs. Does humour beget humour?
Sri

Cheeniya · Jun 24, 2007

Dear Lalithasai
The feeling of jealousy should not lead us to become a fatalist. Every human feeling can be tackled effectively. Has not Oscar Wilde told us that the best way to resist temptation is to yield to it? I dont think he said it lightly. His point was that instead of spending a whole life fighting our temptaion, it would be better to yield to it and forget about it. I do not entirely agree with him but I cited this example to say that there must be ways to deal with jealousy as I have pointed out in my earlier replies.

The Karma Theory is best left to Chitvish to explain as my core competence does not lie in that direction!
Sri