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The Silent Gender Based Violence

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by SGBV, Dec 10, 2020.

  1. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    With the news of another TV actress committed suicide yesterday, I have felt the need to discuss further on women's issues on this platform today - The last day of the 16 days of activism against Gender based violence (Nov 25-Dec 10)

    We have been able to achieve tremendous progress in terms of human development. However, when considering gender-based disparities these achievements in human development are yet to be equally enjoyed by both men and women in our country.
    Women lag behind men considerably both in terms of participation in the labour market and unemployment. Lack of women’s participation in the labour market has affected industries that largely rely on female labour.

    Social and cultural perceptions about women’s roles in society, together with stigmas associated with women in certain industries have been the key barriers to increasing women’s participation in the labour market and employment. A high prevalence of gender-based disparities in wages and salaries also demotivates and prevents young women from seeking employment.

    Let's analyse the urban cases alone: We seem to be enjoying Gender equality than those living in the village. But we are wrong. We have our own gender inequalities to handle.

    Women receive almost equal opportunity as men for education, and they prove it with success in their chosen field of studies. But when it comes to employment opportunities, they are far behind than men in the managerial or decision making professions.

    It is always safe for a woman to go with the flow; that is to follow what their ancestors did (listen to elders, listen to their family, listen to their spouse and listen to their children when it comes to decisions about themselves). The ones who rebel against this social norm are identified as black sheep, home breakers, and so many other labels only to assassinate their characters, so that their voices can be suppressed.

    Unfortunately, the fellow women play foul and deeply involve in attacking the other woman who manages to find ways to climb up.

    There are some unwritten rules, that everyone seem to be ok with it.

    A woman's career/profession is always considered optional. It is OK to be a financial dependent for a life time. It is OK to live as a second class citizen forever.

    She is free to work as long as the family could handle her absence. She needs to compensate at home and at various fronts so that her absence during her time away from home is not felt by others.
    Eg: if she wants to go to work, she needs to wake up early, cook breakfast and dinner, make sure the kids are safe at a day care, and elders received the care at home as required. She needs to speed up her schedules in the evenings, so that she could cook, clean, teach the kids, and wind up everything at home within 3-4 hrs span during evenings.
    Many women work like machines by loosing out on their personal time and there is no gurantee that they have the power to make decisions in the family/financial matters despite of their hard work.

    A woman has no luxury like a man to just go to work and concentrate on work and bring work pressure to home and live with that.

    Understandably, many women chose to stay at home or stay happy with their simple jobs as long as they don't have pressing financial needs.
    No one wants to suffer 2X full time jobs (both at home and office with little to no help) and face criticism at both front.

    On the other hand, the family, the neighbor, the society and every X, Y and Z decides on what a women's profession should be, and how long she should work etc?
    EG: If a woman choses a career as per her passion, her family will object it, the society will object it and she will have to prove each of them wrong by working hard and doing successful in her career. Once she is established, there comes her life partner. He will like her for who she is, approaches to her and proposes to her for that matter. But the moment she becomes his wife, he will expect her to be different. He will expect her to leave her career and passion to be his wife.
    And the whole society will think he is right. So, saying NO to him will only project this woman wrongly.

    Those who are really passionate about their career, will be ready to face the criticisms or whatever. But they are very few, and those few people are now giving up like how these TV actresses and others committed suicide.

    Let's think about it......
    1) There are pressing root causes that causes gender based inequalities
    2) There are avenues where every family/society and business models could practice gender responsive measures. There are ways to educate and implement those measures in our day to day life
    3) But every one face challenge the moment he/she chose to step out of the box.
    Eg: A man can chose to cook alternatively to support his busy working wife. But what he faces from the society/family decides the length of his support
    4) However, there are many success stories too. Women and men jump out of their Gender boxes, and live according to what they believe in. They are happy. They are accepted eventually. Why can't their voices be heard and their stories be told.
     
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  2. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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    This has been a subject of intense discussions for centuries. It so happens that all humans are not equal. It also happens that women are considered a weaker sex. It also happens that there are certain duties like bringing up a child, which women can perform far better than a man. There are certain duties like fighting on a war front, women cannot perform as ruthlessly as men.
    The question is mainly of gender equality, the question in my view is of understanding each other.
    For this women will have to understand each other first before they expect men to understand them.
    In one of my snippets, I said women are their own enemies, they do not need others, least the men.
     
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  3. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Can we get a link to that snippet? Or the thread title?
    Thank you.
     
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  4. NOW

    NOW Gold IL'ite

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    I think our basic human nature comes into play before gender and the statement that women are their own enemies is a very generalized statement. Whether it is a man or woman who has/wants more power than the other, tend to and in most cases will exert their power or ego on the weaker one. It is true that men and women have different strengths and weaknesses and for many centuries the societies needed that structure for division of labor and survival. In modern era those structures are getting more and more accessible to both genders. We are slowly realizing that we have options to pick and choose the profession or lifestyle that suits us. It is a ongoing process and I am sure 100 years from now we will have a different society and this messaging around women is bound to change.
     
  5. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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    I could not find it in my posts in IL. May be I did not post it in this group. Here it is.

    WOMEN DO NOT NEED ENEMIES


    Yatra Naryastu Pujyante, Ramante Tatra Devata.

    (Women are honored where divinity blossoms)



    This was said many centuries ago but has remained within the confines of the pages on which it was written. Sometimes I think this was said to hide the guilt of the writers who without doubt were men. They knew it perfectly well that they do not count women for anything except for pleasure and it was a good strategy to keep them in good humor by saying those pious words. This way they succeeded in keeping women in their ‘place’. To make it more demonstrative, the men placed the idols of Goddesses Lakshmi, Saraswati, and Durga in temples and homes. At the same time, they forgot to respect the living Deities at home and on the streets in the form of mother, wife, sister, and daughter.


    And they were not alone. The women folk contributed equally if not more in the degradation of women. If I relate it to present-day situations I find that women are their worst enemies. And I am not limiting it to family confines of MIL, DIL, SIL. It has larger ramifications. Howsoever friendly and fun-loving they may look when in a group, on the back of their mind they are envious of each other. The cold war is evident everywhere. It is true in offices. Women bosses do not promote deserving women. It is in Movies. Female actors do not mingle and promote other female actors. It is in educational institutions. The female students vie for attention all the time.



    Once in a while, they come out with flags, banners, posters, candle lights to fight for justice for themselves against the atrocities of men but I have yet to see such enthusiasm when the injustices and atrocities are committed by women against women. To add fuel to the fire, they indulge in bitching against each other.



    Women of the world, awake. You are almost 50% of the human population. Those of you who have made a mark in society have done so solely on your own. It is time to help each other.
     
  6. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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    There is a detailed discussions in The Republic by Plato on the role of women in a state, (around 375BC). And even today, the situation remains the same. True women have reached many commendable heights but there are areas where they do not fit as there are areas where men do not fit.
     
  7. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Lakhera ji, thank you for the response.

    After reading it, I regret that I asked.

    Happy Holidays.
     
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2020
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  8. Metamorphic

    Metamorphic Gold IL'ite

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    @NOW, wonderful perspective and perfectly explained.
     
  9. NOW

    NOW Gold IL'ite

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    Point to note is that Philosophy, religion and even spirituality was/is still a boy's club and now women are thrust into new spheres both at home and outside. May be it will take many many centuries but we already embarked on the journey. These reminders from past are very important to understand the difference between our intellect dissecting things vs the human spirit building new experiences.
     
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  10. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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    Rihanaji,
    I am not sure why should you regret it. Conversation is the very foundation of our society and culture. I am sorry if it was hurting in anywhichway.
    Happy Holidays to you as well.
     

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