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The Riddle of Buxom girls and brawny men

Discussion in 'Cheeniya's Senile Ramblings' started by Cheeniya, Jul 5, 2007.

  1. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    The Fire Spitting Chief

    The worst days of my life have always been the Annual Sports Day at my school and later at my college. The sight of the boys going through their 100 meter and 400 meter sprints about 10 times faster than I could, even if being chased by a hungry leopard, made me writhe in self-pity always. When they cleared the bars of 5 feet and more in high jumps with the ease of a kangaroo, it dawned on me that I too could clear it but only by running underneath the bar and this stark truth always sliced through my heart.

    There was a Nagarajan in my school about three years my senior who always walked out with every cup offered by the school in Sports and he was my hero. It was worse in the Presidency College where I studied, it being the only co-education college in Chennai besides the faraway Madras Christian College. Mind you, I was able to make up for my deficiency in Sports by my academic achievements but then, it earned me the admiring (loving?) glances of only the puny girls with thick-glasses, tails that hardly reached their necks and a little stoop acquired through hugging heavy books as they walked through the corridors of the sprawling complex. The Sports heroes monopolized the loving glances of the best looking girls in the college no matter how they fared academically! It has always been a great mystery to me why the stunners always had a marked preference for the brawn!

    The Sports Day frustrations of mine always resulted in a regular dream in which I was a kind of superman who could take strides as long as 10 feet, who could jump over skyscrapers with ease and do such other things that my Sports heroes could only watch with awe. Such dreams brought considerable ease to my anguished mind and cleansed it of all the frustration that I felt about not being able to compete with the Sports heroes in real life. And this helped me to concentrate more on what I was good at, my studies!

    Let me tell you now the story of a colleague in further illustration of what I am trying to say. During my banking days, we had a Chief Executive who was known for putting the best of chinese dragons to shame in the matter of spitting fire and brimstone. The more imaginative of my colleagues have always fancied seeing the mighty dragons actually blushing whenever they encountered our chief. Whenever he summoned a lower executive to his presence for whatever reason, the route that the executive took was always via the toilet.

    I was one day having a post-lunch chat with some colleagues and the topic came down to a recall of some of the recent episodes of my colleagues’ encounter with the fire spitter. One of them narrated an extraordinary story of his encounter with the supremo, which left us spellbound. It seems that the narrator was serving in one of the upcountry branches, which the fire-spitting chief once visited. After spitting the customary fire at every member of the staff, he left for the Headquarters by train. The officers of the branch accompanied by our narrator went to the station to see him off, not out of love but out of fear that they might get disturbed (as transfers were known in those days) if they were not seen at the station. The chief, upon seeing our narrator, beckoned him with a snap of his fingers and ordered him to fetch a bottle of water. Our narrator was enraged beyond all reason at being treated as a ‘chaprasi’. He completely lost control of himself as blood rushed to his head and he slapped the chief very hard! The chief looked completely beaten and pale as the train took him out of our visibility and the joyous officers chaired our narrator out of the station reverentially. On hearing this remarkable story, the lunch room froze into silence as the narrator walked out triumphantly.

    A few days later I was sharing this story with a few other colleagues when an officer who happened to work at the same branch at the material time walked in. He heard the story and started laughing. When his laughing ceased, he went on to explain that it was true that our narrator was ordered to fetch water in the manner indicated but the second part of the story ran like this. Our narrator rushed to the nearest stall and fetched two bottles of water in an over solicitous mood. It was quite a sight to watch him rushing to the coach with the bottles hugged to his chest like a twin just delivered. It was the fire spitting chief who became enraged by this spectacle and gave our narrator a thorough dressing down for exceeding his brief in fetching two bottles of water when he was asked to bring just one!

    This happens to most of us. Life puts us through all sorts of challenging situations. While we successfully negotiate some of them, we find ourselves totally incapable of tackling the rest of them in the manner we wish to. We go through them mechanically and just about manage to scrape through them. People like me are blessed with the art of overcoming our incapabilities through some helpful dreams but the rest of us need to fantasise that we deal with them manfully with extraordinary skill and firmness and start narrating our fantasies as if they are real. Our narrator did exactly that.

    This is the best possible way to give vent to all our pent up feelings because we don’t lose anything by doing so. On one hand, you go through life’s motions normally avoiding all complications and at the same time satisfying your ego by fantasizing that you are a cross between John Wayne and Clint Eastwood. By resorting to this simple method, you will never come to grief except that others may have a hearty laugh behind you after hearing your stories. So what?
     
    Last edited: Jan 18, 2021
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  2. Malathijagan

    Malathijagan Silver IL'ite

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    Hmmm.... You seem to have a lot of such hilarious stories up your sleeves! On the whole you have had a wonderful life as a kid and youth, all full of fun and nostalgic memories. I wish I too could write like you!
    This story reminded reminded me of Manju Reddy's hilarious post making herself the centre of the joke which won the finest post nomination. so we have lots of humourous posts to laugh through out the day!
     
  3. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Malathi
    Every episode of our life has a touch of humour in it but most of us just fail to notice it! Manju's post on her being a shade taller than the average female was a riot. It's a great gift to be able to laugh away one's... er.. what shall I say? I'll ask Mnju for help!
    Sri
     
  4. Abha

    Abha Bronze IL'ite

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    Hey Cheeniya Sir

    Well this was a very humorous post. This also reminds me of my school days, i'm not a sport fanatic at all and never ever used to participate in the sports... and like you Sports Days at school were the worst days of my life, when i used to maintain a low profile, just hanging around the canteen or lawns... and staying miles away from the play grounds...

    Like you said, girls always hover around the football team players or the basket ball team captain... very true and this reminds me of a quotation to boost up the confidence of the guys who are in, or mite come across such situations...

    "Boys are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the
    top of the tree.
    The girls don't want to reach for the good ones because
    they're Afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead they just get the
    rotten apples that are on the ground, that
    aren't as good, BUT EASY and REACHABLE.
    So the apples at the top think that there is something
    wrong with them, when in reality, they are amazing.

    That is why we just have to be a little patient and the
    right girl, the one who takes a chance to find the good, right apple, will
    come someday... "

    same applies for the Girls too...:-D


    In our school, guys were always hovering around girls, who used to wear skirts which they mite have bought when they were in kindergarten, and never bothered to buy a new one... or probably the skirt material is such that it keep shrinking with every wash... but who cares, when 3 guys are always around you... in turn making you more famous... but when it came to copying notes or finishing class work... it was girls like me who were thought of and our copies would do rounds of the class... Okey wudnt bore you much

    A very Good post, made me nostalgic...

    ~Abha
     
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  5. Tamildownunder

    Tamildownunder Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear Cheeniya,

    It is a hilarious episode of your colleague imaginatively slapping the boss. In BARC, we had one such boss who used to fire at us for nothing. Seniors in our group were used to his firings. But, new recruits like me used to shiver when the call came from the boss to see him. Once, one of my senior colleague was called in by our boss. I was anxious to see how the colleague received the firings. But, to my great surprise I could hear the boss firing and the colleague laughing loudly. After sometime, the firings stopped and the colleague came out laughing. He described to us why he was laughing and said, 'If you take his firings seriously you will go mad or get high blood pressure'. Right around that time I had to submit my leave application and my legs were shaking at the thought of meeting the boss to give the application. My sardarjee colleague came to my rescue. He told me his strategy. He said that if you meet the boss in the morning, he might be in foul mood due to quarrel with his wife or not having had good breakfast. But, if you meet him in the afternoon just after lunch he will be docile like the lion after eating its prey when even a small rat can sit on it and play. Accordingly, I took my leave application after lunch and I had a great surprise. The boss received me, offered seat and after going through my application asked me where I am going for vacation etc.

    Regards,

    TDU
     
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  6. Chitvish

    Chitvish Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Sri,

    I cannot help mentioning that your post title did shock me mildly, to put it more mildly. I even went to the extent of checking whether I was in the right subforum ! :)
    Your sense of humour has suddenly taken a (slightly) wild form? Well, can't help mentioning that these are CTs for us, senior citizens !:-D

    Now, having got into reading it, you say it is a riddle between buxom girls & brawny men. Well, Sri, I prefer to call it an "equation", not a riddle ! I am also a product of co-education college of yester years ! Myself & sports were two extremes, right through ! Hmmm, I would rather not dwell deep into those "equations" - my reputation as a senior citizen should not "suffer" even a mild damage in this forum !:mrgreen:

    What your friend did was not fantasising or dreaming, but it was the perfect art of "kathai vidarathu" !
    I laughed at your comparison that he was hugging the two bottles, as though they were twins !

    It is heartening to know that you are not a "show off" and admit that you did manage to attract loving glances of (though, according to you, only) the puny girls with thick-glasses, tails that hardly reached their necks and a little stoop acquired through hugging heavy books as they walked through the corridors of the sprawling complex.
    Don't you think you were brainy to attract them, though not brawny ? Let us conclude that birds of the same feather flock together though you would have liked it to be, opposite poles attracting eachother ! Now rack you brains, as to what category I belong to !:wink:
    Love,
    Chithra.
     
  7. honeybee

    honeybee Gold IL'ite

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    Cheeniya Sir
    A lovely post, :2thumbsup: very interesting to read. BTW.. do thick glasses and puny stature go hand in hand when we try to visualise the brainy lot? :tongue
    Your friend's imaginative narration stems from the fact that at that point he must have felt "Wish I had the guts to do it ".
    Oru alpa sandosham thaan!

    Regards
    from one sports lover to another.
    (Honeybee)
     
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  8. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Abha
    "girls, who used to wear skirts which they mite have bought when they were in kindergarten, and never bothered to buy a new one... or probably the skirt material is such that it keep shrinking with every wash."
    Having been one who never failed to ogle at the mini-skirts, those words of yours took me back by 4 decades!

    Mini skirts were very rare in my college days but fortunately for us , there were half a dozen Anglo-Indian girls in my college who would wear nothing else but short skirts. How our hearts used to race seeing them fluttering around like butterflies!

    I happened to see one of them recently and she was still wearing a skirt that revealed her varicose veins jutting out of her skinny legs. She was the pick of the lot in my college those days! The same legs that set my heart aflame then made the same sink now...
    Sri
     
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  9. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear TDU
    Catching the boss after lunch appears to be a universal strategy! During my 25 years with SBI, I have effectively wriggled out of quite a few encounters with my bosses following this time tested strategy!

    When I was about to take up my first assignment as a Branch-in-charge at Coonoor, my mentor advised me that if I got a stinker from HO, I should never reply it immediately. His advice was that I should keep it in cold storage for a week by which time my initial fury at the stand taken by HO would have died down. Any reply sent in a calmer frame of mind would come out beautifully and diffuse the explosive situation. I have always followed this advice even in domestic situations.
    Reverting to post lunch scenario, have you observed that a heavy meal at lunch made you very sleepy but the same at dinner made you sleepless?
    Sri
     
  10. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Chithra
    It is time that you make yourself shock-protected. I say this seeing that even the pen torch batteries have started giving you a shock! Doctors do apply shocks to revive dead hearts and if my shocks have the same effect, I am only too happy!:)
    Young girls go more by what they see than what they perceive. Brawn impresses them because of its high visibility whereas the brain is perceived by them only as they grow old and their sense of perception increases. To drive home my point, I had to wait for forty years to get this much attention from women! The corrolary is true too. Brawn is destroyed by the force of gravity over a period of time and it ceases to have the same effect on women 40 years down the line. Shall we say that brain takes over where brawn leaves off?
    I am glad that I had my wager on brain and not on brawn! I am sure my brawny peers of yester years would die of jealousy at the turn of luck in my favour now!:)
    Sri
     

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