The Hypocrite

Cheeniya · Apr 11, 2007

A client of mine had been inviting me for dinner for a long time. One day I decided to oblige and I told him that I'd drop in on the following Saturday. Accordingly, I reached his house on the appointed day and it was my first visit to his house. He introduced me to his wife, a rather timid looking woman and his two daughters who wore a kind of haunted look. I infact, I had never had the opportunity of meeting them before even though I was quite close to this client for a few years now.

His drawing room had two familiar Plaques, one reading "We are sorry that our house is in such a mess. It's not always like this. Sometimes it's worse" and the other, "I am the boss in this house and I have my wife's permission to say so."

As far as the first plaque was concerned, I knew that he kept it probably because he liked the humour and not because it was truly reflective of the state of his house. He had a compact flat which, I should say, was very well kept. He didn't crowd his house with too many things and whatever he had was arranged with taste. I really wished my house was like that. Immaculately clean like a 5 star hotel. He made me feel very guilty with that stupid plaque. If he wanted to keep it, he should really keep his house in a mess, I thought. He had no right to keep it otherwise.

The much awaited dinner started. What I liked best about it was that the menu didn't have too many items and whatever was served was well prepared. It was quite a homely meal. But the sad part was I did not have any appetite for food. You might ask why. The moment the lady started serving the food, my friend started grumbling about something or the other. The grumble slowly grew in volume and he literally started shouting at her for everything. I could see the poor lady's hands trembling while serving and I felt sorry for her. His two daughters sat hunched over the table like stricken rabbits. I lost my appetite completely and I couldn't eat anything. This made him angrier as he thought that the food was not upto my taste. His wife got further banging on account of me.

I regretted having accepted his invitation. I hastily finished my dinner and got up. As I crossed the drawing room to reach the door the plaque stared at me. "I am the boss in this house and I have my wife's permission to say so." I wanted to grab it and fling it out of the window but resisted my temptation. I walked out of the house seething with fury.

Manjureddy · Apr 11, 2007

Dear Cheeniyasir,
First reaction : If you had removed that plaque and brought it down , neat and square, on that man's head, I'dve nominated you for "The Star Of IL " award.( or maybe, like The Vrikshamitra, or The Pranimitra awards, a "Sthreemithra" award !)
But at least, you left seething with rage at his hipocrisy- I'd like to think that at least half that seething originated from the empathy you felt for that poor woman.

Rethink upon cooling down : Ah, but most men are like that only. They love to make a show of being domesticated, wife-fearing, rolling-pin-terrorised, family oriented etc.etc. but actually what they like about having a wife and family at all is that they can have a little fiefdom where they can swagger around as The Big Boss.
Whats that old joke again ? " I allow my wife to make all the important decisions of our life like what to have for dessert, what color socks the kids get to wear, when the drapes need to be changed etc. As for poor humble me, I only concern myself with inconsequential, little things like what land to invest in, how much to spend on vacations , who the children should wed and such other very minor decisions."
Men !

manjula

Cheeniya · Apr 11, 2007

Dear Manjula
The course of action that would have entitled me to a "Streemitra" Award did suggest itself to me but I resisted the urge for two reasons:
A) The plaque was too exquisite a piece to be used as a weapon of murder
B) I have a morbid fear of blood! In fact if a mosquito bites me, I dont use brutal force against it and smash it beyond recognition, as people normally do to give expression to their resentment against the bloodsucker, because I dont want to dirty my hand with the blood of a sinner. I gently blow at it and make it fly away
I would therefore urge you to bestow on me whatever award that I may be eligible in the prevailing circumstances!
As regards your observations about men, I am just reviewing my past to see if I ever behaved so obnoxiously
Sri

abhatv · Apr 11, 2007

Hello Cheeniya sir,

Very good post, sir. Even I have noticed the same thing in my father's house.My beloved father is no more now.But when I read the post,this came to my mind immediately. Not with regard to food but for other small small things, especially when guests or my father's relatives are present , perhaps just to show that he is strong willed, my father sometimes resorted to this method. My mother being the "paavam" or the "aadarsha bharathiya naari", used to brush it off with a saying that is quite common in malayalam-"aalere kandal kadalere kopikkum"( when the sea sees more people,it gets angrier)-this is the literal translation.It means that when there are people to see, performance(?) is more.. So, we children have also not thought much about it. I don't know whether there is any similar saying in Tamil.

May I also add that I am blessed as my husband says that whatever I cook is tasty and never makes me feel small in front of others.

Regards,

Abha.

Chitvish · Apr 11, 2007

Dear Sri,
You have written, not about a hypocrite, but about an autocrat !:evil:

The fist plaque was perhaps kept by him more to invite a comment from people to say that it was not warranted at all ! He kept it there not for humour but to literally grab praising words from the mouths of the guests.

Some men have a vicarious pleasure in showing themselves to be the authoritative husbands ! What a sorry figure they cut, in the eyes of others! I cannot help mentioning that it is the typical male chauvinistic attitude, which they flaunt as supremacy over the wife.
These men need to be pitied, honestly. How can children grow up to be healthy citizens in such a household ? No wonder they looked haunted.
I am shocked to read that you are reviewing if you have ever behaved so obnoxiously – so, what do I judge of you, Sri ? Are you not sure of yourself still ?
Love,
Chithra.

Dear Abha,
The tamil equivalent is
Aalaik kanda samudram goshikkum.
Love,
Chithra.

vivbass · Apr 11, 2007

hello cheeniya,
very nice post, poor lady ,in almost of the houses the same scene will happen,they all r well educated stupids:evil:

Cheeniya · Apr 11, 2007

Dear Abhatv
In Tamil the saying is Aal kanda samudram pola aarbarikkaradu! I dont know if I have said it correctly!
I never understand the psychology of men who behave thus. They fail to understand that people take an instand liking to a couple who exude warmth towards each other like you and your hubby. I have already formed a mental picture of you both and that brings a smile to my lips. May God bless both of you with everything that you desire!
Sri

Cheeniya · Apr 11, 2007

Dear Chithra
The very fact that I have decided to share this story with the members of a predominantly Ladies' site would be proof enough of the empathy I feel for such harrassed women. The fury that filled my heart at the sight of such a sordid episode would be an added proof.
I could have said that for a man who had never behaved in such an atrocious manner, this was indeed shocking but by saying that I needed to review my life to see if I had ever behaved in such an obnoxious manner was a kind of introspection that I expected every man to do.
Tell me Chithra, is there anyone who can ever claim that he had led an impeccable life?
Hope you will agree with me!
Sri

Cheeniya · Apr 11, 2007

Dear vivbass
Husbands will be husbands, educated or otherwise!
But have you ever noticed that the same chaps are so empathetic, concerned, suave, softspoken and all that sort of rot during their courtship?
What particular aspect of matrimony that transforms them really? At what stage does the transformation start taking shape?
Points to ponder over!
Sri

Vidya24 · Apr 11, 2007

C,

I missed this one too till now. Please consider asking Induslady for a separate forum where you can post all your work. Or post it in a manner where your faithful readers will know that the latest by Cheeniya is out.

Good as always. But the title does not suit the piece. The husband is pathetic, more than a hypocrite he seems to be a self centered, power mad brat. Some husbands think they are very humourous when they put up these posters. Or when they make jokes on their wives about retail therapy, hours spent in dressing up and driving modes. They dont realise that they end up being the butt of these jokes.

Men never grow up, do they? They are mental cretins and social malformations--

This one lacks the usual Cheeniya magic. Still good though. Maybe I did not enjoy it fully, since I am grouchy at the moment. Will read it again in saner moments.

ciao
VR