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The history of 'bride seeing' ceremony!

Discussion in 'Cheeniya's Senile Ramblings' started by Cheeniya, May 15, 2008.

Page 11 of 13
  1. Oct 20, 2011 #101
    vidchakra

    vidchakra Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Sri Sir,
    I have read many of your posts, but this is first time I am replying to your post...
    I liked this particular piece a lot... :) Thanks for sharing!
    I wish the history I learnt at school was as interesting as this...

    My husband had something very close to swayamvar.. He had seen quite a few girls and had to select of them... Till date he has never disclosed the true reason for choosing me... Maybe I was a random choice, just because he HAD to select someone :)
     
    vidchakra, Oct 20, 2011
    vidchakra, Oct 20, 2011
    #101
    Thyagarajan likes this.
  2. Oct 20, 2011 #102
    Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Kottravai
    Good you remembered that Viswanathan bride seeing Kamala Kamesan scene! I too remember it so vividly. But my vote is still for Kamal seeing Sridavi in 'Meedum Kokila' where a kid decides to answer the call of nature on Kamal's lap.

    I see how things have changed from my time. When we went to 'see' the bride, we saw her only for a brief moment as she served the sojji while her sibling served the bajji. We were anxiously waiting for the plates to reach us and seeing the bride got pushed to the background. The bride's mother would utter the first lie that the dishes were prepared by the bride and this would be followed by a series of lies. Of course, these were harmless lies about the sterling qualities of the family in general and the bride in particular.

    Today, the boy and girl lie directly to each other without the intervention of the families about their likes and dislikes. If we are to go by the first exchanges between the two, it will be like an ideal man marrying an ideal woman. The families won't even know the contents of the private conversation. It can range between who is better of the two, Kamal and Rajni, and which is the best restaurant in town. The boy would say that it is a matter on which he can't throw much light as he has never been to any place other than the most expensive in town and to him ambience matters more than the taste of the dishes.The girl would look adoringly at him and in that moment their alliance would be sealed!

    I am glad to hear that Swayamvaram is back now. I hear about programmes like Kalyana Maalai being conducted on similar lines. But I doubt very much if a money minded person can be reformed with a simple advice.
    Sri
     
    Cheeniya, Oct 20, 2011
    Cheeniya, Oct 20, 2011
    #102
    1 person likes this.
  3. Oct 20, 2011 #103
    Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear vidchakra
    I see so much of you everyday, you are already very familiar to me. It doesn't feel like this is your first FB to me. Some people create that feeling of familiarity even before we meet them. A hearty welcome to you!

    Random choice, as in my case, is always the best choice! How can he disclose the true reason for choosing you when there may be hundreds of them? If he starts listing them he may need at least a week to complete them. That may be a reason why he is not talking about it.
    Sri
     
    Cheeniya, Oct 20, 2011
    Cheeniya, Oct 20, 2011
    #103
    1 person likes this.
  4. Oct 20, 2011 #104
    kelly1966

    kelly1966 Platinum IL'ite

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    Cheenya..
    quite interesting topic.. though for a person like me its novel.. I never had this opputunity of groom seeing me.. had a love marriage... though I think its highly romantic that a boy and girl meet .. eyes meet.. families meet and then they simply decide to spend their lives together.. ( ofcourse thats changed these days!!)
    But I did witness one of my cousins who must've met min 30 boys.. sometimes 1 in the morning and another in the night.. and then all of a sudden agree on this guy and then get married within a week!!!..:bonk
    so I guess thats fate!!..
    Kerman
     
    kelly1966, Oct 20, 2011
    kelly1966, Oct 20, 2011
    #104
  5. Oct 20, 2011 #105
    Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Kerman
    I wonder if Fate is the right word in matrimony when the popular belief is that the marriages are made in Heaven. I say this because Fate has a negative connotation. If someone wins a million rupees in a lottery, we don't call it his fate. If he breaks his leg in an awful slip in his bathroom we call it his fate.

    I have lived with my DW for 44 years now and the decision to marry her did not take me even 44 minutes. If I call it my fate at this stage, I'll be inviting my fate unnecessarily! Not that she is violent, but her nasty look can be worse than the .600 Nitro Express Zeliska Revolver!
    Sri
     
    Cheeniya, Oct 20, 2011
    Cheeniya, Oct 20, 2011
    #105
  6. Oct 21, 2011 #106
    marulamuniya

    marulamuniya Gold IL'ite

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    Dear cheeniya Sir,
    I'm really late here.. This is the first of your posts that I'm reading and understand how much I might have missed these days. I agree with you that it is nice to follow this girl seeing ceremony. When you said about accompanying an elder for this occasion is real fun. Being the youngest amongst all cousins in my family, I had the opportunity to enjoy this for most of my cousins. Similar to S & B, Uppittu (upma) and Kesribath ( I think this is S) combination is famous in Karnataka.
    But when it comes to being the 'girl', I really felt like running away. Luckily it was my first time and for my DH too. God was too busy and did not want to waste time I guess :)
     
    marulamuniya, Oct 21, 2011
    marulamuniya, Oct 21, 2011
    #106
  7. Oct 22, 2011 #107
    Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Ani
    Welcome to my Senile Ramblings! Though I don't ramble these days, my replies to FBs and my FBs to others' posts are like 'after shocks'! But I love interacting with ILites because their youthful spirit is like a whiff of fresh air to someone who is living in a dungeon!

    Uppittu and kesribath! What a lovely combo. Wish I had known that this was the fare that was usually dished out to the marauding bridegrooms, I would have seen half a dozen girls in Bengaluru before falling for this Madurai girl!
    Sri
     
    Cheeniya, Oct 22, 2011
    Cheeniya, Oct 22, 2011
    #107
  8. Oct 22, 2011 #108
    mansimahi

    mansimahi Gold IL'ite

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    Your post makes me wish to have a bride seeing ceremony :)))) Though mine was an arranged marriage, i had a groom seeing ceremony....where i went to meet my future DH in his house... no S&B... only poori & chana, rava kesari made by my MIL .... the reversal of "bride seeing" is still the source of much hilarity in our families... maybe for my 60th (a long way yet) wedding..i shall have a bride seeing ceremony... (my dH is asking me if he will get to see another bride at least for the "arupadhaam kalyanam" :))
     
    mansimahi, Oct 22, 2011
    mansimahi, Oct 22, 2011
    #108
  9. Oct 22, 2011 #109
    Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Mansi
    Not knowing which half is your name, I'm just taking a chance with Mansi hoping that I have hit the pot!
    But before I proceed with my FB, I want you to know that I am a great fan of yours and have read at least 90 out of your 96 posts!

    Groom seeing is an abridged version of swayamvara where instead of a 100 princes craning their necks eagerly for the coveted garland, in your case there was a sole contestant with the smug smile of the captain of a cricket team who has won the match even before a single ball was bowled! Kesari, poori and chana sound good but it is intriguing why the combo has to be always a sweet and savoury? Why not only sweet or savoury? Let me google for a plausible explanation!

    A bride seeing ceremony ahead of the 60th wedding is a good idea. I am reminded of all the racket the oldies create in Maniratnam's Roja making fun of Madhubala and Aravindsamy. My advance congrats!
    Sri
     
    Cheeniya, Oct 22, 2011
    Cheeniya, Oct 22, 2011
    #109
  10. Oct 25, 2011 #110
    Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    Dear Cheeniya sir,

    finally I am here - after meaning to be here for such a long time! Interesting this 'history of the bride seeing ceremony' but what caught my attention in all of this is what you had posted in your response to Kamala
    That is the cutest most lovable thing I have ever heard! You brought a big bright smile to my face! I want to say more but feel tongue tied, in sheer happiness to see such warmth!

    Since every one has shared their own stories, let me add my story as well - I just had one session and considering what I did, I shudder to think what my kids would do if I were to subject them to a bride or a groom seeing ceremony! I do have a lot of respsect for people who can go through this and choose a life partner! It is just that I could not be that brave! And incidentally your uncle's (?) story reminded me of my own parents' - I believe my dad said yes to my mom, then no and came back after 6 months to see if she was still available. My mom in all her innocence said yes to my dad only because he held a clerical position in a bank and owned his own cycle! My dad ofcourse retired as a senior manager from SBI, yes just like yourself and always teased my mom about the cycle that made her fall for him later, when he could afford much more for her! Their story is much more inetresting than my own, trust me!
     
    Srama, Oct 25, 2011
    Srama, Oct 25, 2011
    #110
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