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The Hairless In A Saloon

Discussion in 'Cheeniya's Senile Ramblings' started by Cheeniya, Mar 17, 2017.

  1. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    I don’t know if it is the practice everywhere but in Triplicane, if you order for a sweet and only sweet, they would give you a spoonful of some savoury like Mixture to counter the effect of the sweet on your tongue. I am talking about my days and I do not know if this good practice still continues. I am as much a fan of Aldous Huxley as I am of PG Wodehouse. During my travels while I was working for a Bank, I would carry a couple of Wodehouse novels and Perennial Philosophy by Aldous Huxley. When the Wodehouse novel got me laughing uncontrollably, I would switch to Huxley’s Perennial Philosophy and read some random page and believe me, it would sober me down in seconds. Don’t get me wrong. I like Huxley as much as I like Wodehouse though for different reasons. I have read almost all the books of Huxley though I can’t say that I understood them all. Eyeless in Gaza was one novel which was the greatest challenge in my literary life. If anyone asks me to write the synopsis of Eyeless in Gaza in one paragraph, I would act very busy and apologetically regret my inability and say ‘Why not next week?’


    You may ask me why this sudden reference to Huxley when it is PG Wodehouse that engages most of my attention. Let me explain. I have been thinking about a subject for my next Rambling. I was then watching the Lalithaa Jewellery advertisement on the TV in which the owner made an eloquent plea to compare his prices with other Jewellers. What attracted me much was his perfectly bald head. It was almost as if he was my double. I also remembered my good friend and actor Kitty. I would write about bald heads I decided and when I was thinking of a suitable title for the blog, I remembered instantly Huxley’s Eyeless in Gaza. ‘Horrah’, I shouted. I know it is more difficult to get hold of a proper title than writing a meaningful blog! Let it be ‘Hairless in a Saloon’ I decided and rushed to my PC.


    The Saloon that I go to in my area has now become very trendy. I have been going there for over 20 years but then he had a lot more job to do with me then. He would spend almost an hour giving me a haircut and trimming of my beard. He has grown a lot now unlike my hair and charges a crazy sum for his services. I once told him that he was charging too much for the job he did on my head. He politely submitted that less hair meant more labour. “I keep searching for your hair which involves more labour than randomly running the scissors through the dense growth of youngsters”, he pointed out. According to him, it involved a lot of searching and once he found one, he had to cut it carefully without hurting the skin on my head. He almost made it sound like skull surgery.


    I visited him last week for the usual formalities. He greeted me heartily and enquired if I had come for trimming my beard. ‘Also a hair cut’, I answered. With great difficulty he buried his laughter beneath a polite smile and showed me my seat. Unlike in the case of others, he first wanted to trim my beard before talking up the head job. I gave him my consent for his suggestion and after running an electric trimmer for some ten minutes, he switched over to my hair cut. For the next ten minutes, he surveyed my head like Hercule Pairot in his usual whodunit job and let out a sigh. I knew that his sigh indicated his failure to find a hair the cutting of which would satisfy his professional pride. He suggested to me that I could have a haircut at the next visit. And that hurt my pride. ‘When I come to a saloon, I would like to have both my haircut and trimming of the beard’, I told him. I urged him to complete the job as I would not like to keep visiting three times a month. He sighed and ran the scissors vigorously over the head like Charlie Chaplain in a pantomime!


    At the end of all the procedures, I took out Rs.300 and gave it to him saying to ‘Keep the change’. He smiled and told me that he must ask me to keep the change as the cost of his service was Rs.350/- I just stroked my hairless head thoughtfully and thanked him! How does he know that my wife sent with me Rs.300 only?
     
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  2. Rajeni

    Rajeni Moderator Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Cheeniya Sir,

    Yet another hilarious post! More than your experience at the salon, the explanation on how you derived the title is much more hilarious. From Eyeless in Gaza To Hairless in a Salon! Huxley would never have expected that his title would inspire this way! Enjoyed reading it.
     
  3. beautifullife30

    beautifullife30 Platinum IL'ite

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    hello cheeniya sir,

    very funny snippet! 'the hairless in a salon'. haha...I am having a hard time trying to control my laugh!

    It made me recollect my grandpa's experiences in the saloon!

    My grandpa has this typical oldman hair...the U shaped hair towards the bottom of the head extending from the left ear to the right ear and on the top...right at the center point...a fluff of hair which resembles like that of tweety's!

    the saloon guy near our house used to dread my grandpa's visit! specially with the fluffy bit on the top!

    So once when my grandpa urgently wanted to get his hair trimmed, the saloon was closed so my grandma convinced my grandpa that she would cut his hair better than the salon guy and bargained a rs50 more than what he usually pays the guy! So my grandpa with all the expectations sat down to get his hair cut.

    god knows how she did what she did but the final look was literally like 'satti kavuthi mudi vetinamari'.....

    haha...me and my brother teased him so much that he roamed around for the next two weeks wearing a cap even at home!!....ah..the good old days!
     
  4. PushpavalliSrinivasan

    PushpavalliSrinivasan IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Mr Cheeniya,
    I have not read "Eyeless in Gaza". I would rather love to read witty snippets than reading a lengthy philosophical story.
    Ad of Lalitha Jewellery owner with bald head and actor Kitty, two baldies were instrumental in writing this hilarious post.
    You are not the only one to be hairless in the saloon. At least you are growing beard and so you have to go to the saloon to trim your beard to appear like Bernard Shaw.

    My DH doesn't even grow beard after becoming bald less than five years after our marriage. Yet he goes to the saloon every two months just to cut some strands of hay like hair just at the nape. The saloon man increasing 25 bucks every time.

    PS
     
  5. Srama

    Srama IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Cheeniya sir,

    Applying the same logic of giving a sample of a sweet, in my opinion your barber should give a sampler hair cut, you know for people like you. No need for charging at all. Your haircut story reminded of the joke where an old bald man with just a couple of hairs on his head goes to a salon. The barber asks him sarcastically "what do you want me to do?" The old man running his hand down his beard thinking, picks up the news paper, settles down in the chair and says "Color it!"

    Nice to see you reminisce about PG Wodehouse and Huxley. Recently I found Wodehouse collection and bought it. I am hoping I will enthuse kids into reading it. My DS recently completed "Count of Monte Cristo" and enjoyed it thoroughly. The mom in me was happy to see a crisp new book get all soiled with use.
     
  6. Padmini

    Padmini IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear cheeniya sir,
    Snippets from you means certainly ahillarios ne like Nagesh in" Kadhalikka neramillai'The man charging more reminded me of a joke I want to mention it :"
    'As I am getting older I seem to be loosing my hair. When I went last week to the barber I joked with him that he keeps on going up in price when I have less to cut! He replied, "I should charge you double for all the time it takes me to find your hair!"
    Just for joke the board kept in front of a saloon!!
    [​IMG]
    with love pad

     
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  7. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Cheeniya Sir,

    Title "Eyeless in Gaza" motivated you to come up with a title "Hairless in Saloon"? While Huxley's title is for adding something into the head, Cheeniya Sir's title is for removing something outside the head.

    Seriously, your hairdresser should charge you "Finder's Fee" instead of "Trimming Fee". Your wife may be right about sending you with Rs.300 and it is your hairdresser's discretion to add additional fee for imposing on him to cut your non-existing hair in the head. His professional sense of fulfillment is achieved by trimming your beard as otherwise, the challenges you throw at him about removing your hair in the head is like Ashwin's carrom ball to the international cricketers.

    You are throwing curve balls at your hair dresser when he is used to curly hairs. Frankly, your hairdresser deserves every paise he charges out of Rs 350. In my view, reading Huxley had a profound impact in your mind to challenge your hairdresser to find something that is not easily visible to the human mind while reading Wodehouse helped you write such wonderful snippets. You are almost motivating him to put a notice board outside the saloon, "Cutting non-existing hair is injurious to your head".

    Viswa
     
  8. kkrish

    kkrish IL Hall of Fame

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    :roflmao::number_one:
    What a lovely way to start this Friday.
    Could not help chuckling throughout.

    As a kid I loved going to the "Chettiar kadai" with my grandma for monthly groceries. They would give a small packet of cashew and raisins in the end which was all mine. That combination tasted so delicious. Your mention of the small savory item brought back this sweet memory.

    I have read only "The Brave New World" of Huxley's that too only because my father insisted I read it. I "ploughed through it", would have been the right phrase. Perhaps now I might understand and appreciate it more.

    Coming to the real matter my issue has been on the other side. I sport long hair, typical S.Indian braided type. Here in the US I had to take my sons to the barber whenever my husband was on travel.
    The anticipatory look of the barber every time I go would make me cringe. I used to feel like cheating him of good business every time I said "not for me" :)
     
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  9. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    @Rajeni

    Dear Rajini
    Thank you for your appreciation of my story on 'hairlessness'. This is an inevitable stage in a man's life that comes at some stage in a man's life. There are some freaks of course. I have a neighbour who bundles his hair with a clip and he is mighty proud of it. When I was discussing this with a friend of mine he declared that baldness is the hallmark of brainy folks implying that my neighbour may be richer on outside but a zero inside. I knew he did make this comment only to console me!
    Sri
     
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  10. shyamala1234

    shyamala1234 Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Cheeniya sir,
    You are good in establishing contacts between two, this time three ,unrelated things and the snippet takes off from there.
    You have knack of writing snippets on any topic including a visit to saloon! A Telugu poem by Sri Sri (you are one Sri and he is two Sris.He is Srirangam Srinivas Rao) a great poet of modern times. He says "kukkapilla,aggipulla, sabbubilla kadedi kavithakanrhambu".Means one can write on any topic. For details you can Google or ask your Telugu son in law.
    You jumped from wodehouse, Huxley to saloon!!!!Wodehouse is sweet, Huxley is a spoon of mixture (difficult to read philosophy more than that .) Exception is Viswamitra.
    I have seen Lalitha Jewellers commercial but never noticed the bald man.....my focus was on jewellery. Everyone wants to see what they want to.
    Saloon charged very reasonable charges....less hair and more work. He is entitled for more.
    Hilarious one.
    Thank you.
    Syamala
    .
     
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