1. Have an Interesting Snippet to Share : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

The Goodbyes Of Many Things

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Rihana, Oct 1, 2020.

  1. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    10,202
    Likes Received:
    25,178
    Trophy Points:
    540
    Gender:
    Female
    The new desk’s adjustable height and state-of-the-art keyboard tray promised relief to my aching wrists, neck and back, but not the heart. Moving my much loved old desk towards the door of my room, I gazed at its serene and smoky glass top, bordered by two sides of narrow dark wood -- my own Eastern and Western Ghats. As its last six inches edged out of the door, my feet slowed, reluctant to confirm the goodbye. Bidding adieu to a rock and friend who had seen me through the saddest WhatsApp conversations, happiest phone calls, toughest emails I ever composed, and my triumphant journey to an almost paperless desk. Goodbyes to things are, I find, gentler on the human spirit than goodbyes to places and people. So, each time I say goodbye to a thing, I find myself ruminating on some goodbyes from the past.

    Each April, when the school year ended and the report cards had been issued, my best friend and I sat down on the cool stone floor under the Khaitan ceiling fan, to conduct a "farewell party" for the notebooks we had used in the school year. Armed with red ballpoint pens purloined from my father’s desk, we decisively awarded ourselves 10 out of 10 on each test where we hadn’t scored full marks, adding the coveted "v. good" or "excellent" in handwriting to resemble the teacher’s. This masquerade assuaged the injustice our strict teachers inflicted on us the whole year. Not that the forged scores made any difference in the money we got for the notebooks from the kirana store.

    Wall calendars have always been and continue to be very hard for me to remove from the wall and dispose of. In childhood, it was because they had beautiful pictures on them and were glossy imported ones. More recently, the difficulty comes from seeing the reminders of appointments, birthdays, TV shows to watch, and feminine dates in code. All these notes and plans written on the calendar in pencil make me feel like I am throwing away that year of my life. As a compromise, last year I neatly cut the pages into squares to use for writing grocery lists and dire "do" or "don’t" reminders for the family. When I reach for a square, I slowly turn from the blank side to the one that has a date or reminder and try to identify which month and day it belonged to, often humming Cher’s "If I Could Turn Back Time."

    Children’s story books, toys and clothes -- like most new moms, I bought more of these than any child could use or need. I gave them away by the bagful's every few weeks. That process used to be a ceremony in itself. Sorting what to give away, laying them in neat piles, taking pictures, posting in craigslist and making every effort to give them away as a set like giving the entire litter of puppies up for adoption to one family only.

    A tough goodbye coming up is selling our faithful grey sedan. If we had the space to park it, I would never let it go. The toddlers who kicked my seat from behind are now in the driver’s seat. The countless, "Amma, how do I …" they issued from the back seat now replaced by my "How does the Bluetooth connect…" Sometimes I put my hand in the pockets behind the seats and find an old Hot Wheels car, swim class name tag, erasers, or a Barbie's head. Any time I see DH vacuuming the car, I fear it might end up so clean, he might decide to post a for-sale ad.

    For a while I used to think I am a crazy woman to feel so sad about goodbyes to things that are, well, things. Then, I read how Dulquer Salmaan bids goodbye to his cars -- he thanks them for the memories, kisses the steering wheel and roof, and wishes them good luck with the new owners. So, we all have our little goodbye rituals. And, no need to feel embarrassed about them. If Dulquer doesn’t, why should we.

    Do you have any goodbye rituals from childhood or now?
    .
    .
     
    Viswamitra, Amica, shreepriya and 6 others like this.
    Loading...

  2. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,347
    Likes Received:
    1,469
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Male
    Nice one. Down the memory lane.
    I guess boys are different. I still remember the days I and my elder brother used to take out our note books and take them to the scrap dealer. The sales proceeds were used to buy cinema tickets. The only problem was the cinema ticket cost 12 annas each and our total raddi sales proceeds at 2 annas per kg could never meet the cost but it did supplement the meagre pocket money we had saved to watch a movie after the exams.
    No wonder, we waited for the final exam every year!!! Another thrill was making sure our parents did not know it.
     
    Rihana likes this.
  3. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,889
    Likes Received:
    5,389
    Trophy Points:
    425
    Gender:
    Female
    Rihana I really enjoyed your story of saying goodbye to things.

    Should I say I’m very much attached to things more than humans.
    I do get attached to people but I’m very much more connected to things as they do not hurt me emotionally and there are no arguments or heartbreaks with those things.

    For more than 2 decades, even while I started working I had stored almost everything including my crayons, pencil box, Geometry box, those tiny cute little scented erasers, Boomer tattoos, Tazoos, cartoon stickers and even those Atlas, Scholastic science books, Oxford dictionary, Wren N Martin, Tinkle books, cutouts of children’s edition newspapers in my room.

    Recently I was forced to bid Adieu to all those lovely childhood memories :confounded:
    If at all I had a chance I would still store them!
    I really don’t like saying Goodbye even to things.
     
  4. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    10,202
    Likes Received:
    25,178
    Trophy Points:
    540
    Gender:
    Female
    Our raddiwala used to unceremoniously yank the cardboard cover of the notebooks before weighing. As we grew older, we figured out how to know if the shop guy is not weighing the paper properly. : )
     
    HariLakhera likes this.
  5. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    10,202
    Likes Received:
    25,178
    Trophy Points:
    540
    Gender:
    Female
    Thank you. I wrote it back in July or August and remembered today when I was reading about desk shortages and researching Fahadh Faasil! : )

    Didn't know that people who watched Is Pyaar ko kya naam doon in college years also used Wren N Martin. : ) : ) Meaning, I thought that book stopped being used in the 70's or 80's.
     
    shravs3 likes this.
  6. deepthyanoop

    deepthyanoop Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    328
    Likes Received:
    349
    Trophy Points:
    125
    Gender:
    Female
    Nice thread, Rihana :)

    My first emotional goodbye was to my childhood hood home, where I grew up. We had to move out from there because of my dad’s work and had to sell it later because no one to maintain the house. It was really emotional for me then. I still miss it’s wooden windows, doors, veranda, courtyard, guava tree, curry leaf tree, everything....I still remember asking my mother, if we can lift the house from one place to another like Lord Hanuman lifted the mountain for Sanjeevani :)

    Then like you and Sravs said, another goodbyes are when I had to give away my old notebooks, text books, to neighborhood kids to make room for the new ones. Until recently my parents kept my collection of malayalam children’s books like“ Balarama, Poompatta, Malarvadi” :) My husband still has his Tintin and Tinkle collections :)

    I noticed I used a lot of smilies in the reply. Thanks for a feel good thread, Rihana!
     
    Amica, Rihana and shravs3 like this.
  7. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,889
    Likes Received:
    5,389
    Trophy Points:
    425
    Gender:
    Female
    It was there in late 90’s too :grinning:
     
    Last edited: Oct 1, 2020
    Caughtinbetween and Rihana like this.
  8. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    5,013
    Likes Received:
    3,934
    Trophy Points:
    338
    Gender:
    Male
    My wife throws away my clothes if she thinks they have become old even though they might be in perfect condition. They have been used for too long, she says. I think some kind of a farewell ritual is in order here for my beloved clothes.
     
    Amica and Rihana like this.
  9. netflx

    netflx Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    113
    Likes Received:
    135
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    The reality is that it feels that way until we are faced with
    a situation of bidding goodbye to our loved ones (humans/pets). When that happens, one realizes that things dont matter as much as the loved ones. But the cycle of life goes on.
     
    Rihana likes this.
  10. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,889
    Likes Received:
    5,389
    Trophy Points:
    425
    Gender:
    Female
    Where did I tell that I’m not at all attached to humans :sweatsmile:
    Probably you dint understand my POV..You should have read the next line too carefully.
    And btw each one has their own way of getting attached, be it humans or things!!
    It’s not good to assume things just by reading few lines..
     
    Last edited: Oct 2, 2020
    Rihana and Amica like this.

Share This Page