The Final Adieu!!

THE FINAL ADIEU

Kanchana held her son Ayush with trembling hands and tears in her eyes. She kissed his forehead with quivering lips. “Please forgive me GOD. There was nothing else I could do” she silently prayed. She knew that no one in the world would take care of Ayush after her the way he needed to be taken care of. Infact he would die a death everyday! It had been three years since her 29 year old son had been in a comatose state lying in the home at the care of doctors who visit regularly and the prayers of a mother.
Her husband Anand died 5 years back and it was a couple of years after that the tragedy struck.
Ayush was a hardworking civil engineer and was working hard on a very responsible project so happy that he would succeed and give his mother all the luxury that he felt she deserved though she desired none. She was very happy with tending to the needs of the son, seeing him grow, ambitious and seeking success. He was a hardworking boy and everyone always complimented Kanchana about the wonderful way she had brought up her son.
The fateful day Ayush told his mother to prepare Rava ladoos because he would be coming home with some very good news regarding his work. His Boss has invited him to join him lunch and Ayush knew that there was something wonderful awaiting him. “Amma , I feel my life will change from today, our life will change, I can feel it”, he said happily Kanchana smiled at his confidence as he left. He was eagerly working on the final stages on the third floor of the new construction, standing in the balcony and inspecting the ceiling when he suddenly lost his balance and fell down.

He was brought to the hospital in an unconscious state and a colleague came home to tell Kanchana about it. Kanchana assuming it is Ayush with good news opened the door with the sweets on a platter.

Kanchana rushed to the hospital with trembling feet, fearing the worst
Her husband and now her son, No she wouldn’t be able to take it. The operation theatres light went on and off. Inside there, was her life, here was merely her body.
The doctor met her. She saw Ayush on the bed, wrapped in bandages all so tired looking, she was asked to wait out but she wanted to go in. To cradle him in her arms tell him not to worry, everything will be fine. We need to go home soon. But he never looked, never moved. And remained like that for the next three years. His eyes were open but she didn’t know where he saw, yet she continued to smile at him she never knew whether he listened to her, though she continued to constantly talk to him, discuss with him, narrate everything that’s happening around to him. He never smiled when she did. She was always by his side, a smile on her face, taking everything in her stride, with lots of patience, never once losing it, awaiting the day when he would get up, in the real sense, waiting desperately for the real awakening.
Today was his 29th birthday, the third birthday of his after the fall. Every year on this day she made laddoos and later distributed it to others. But this year she made only two laddoos, one for her and one for her son.
Now she had just very ruefully fed him his portion by injecting the liquefied sweet to the IV and she stared at him as she ate her sweet .What wonderful dreams she had regarding her son! Regarding his marriage to Sumathi, his childhood sweetheart, ( who now was married to someone else) regarding his children, her grandchildren , running around the house, noisy and boisterous bringing so much joy ,with whom she would spend her last years. What beautiful world of fantasy she had woven around her son and now she would never experience it. !

She picked up his lifeless hands, kissed it and said, “Ayush Raja”, for the first time in three years, she felt drained, mentally, emotionally and physically, she looked him in the eye, “Amma is very tired, and can’t go on any more. I wish you would hug me one time one last time, the way you used to. My body is aching for it. I miss it so much” she said as fresh tears again streamed down her face. “I cannot see you suffer like this, now that I will be gone, I am so worried about you”. Despite the docs repeatedly calling him a vegetable ,telling her that the chances of him ever getting back to his normal self was remote she still lived on the faith that he will one day. She was after all his mother and she wished him life not death . Not until now. Today the doctor conducted further tests and said his case looked impossible. And now with her reports on Leukemia, terminal stage, everything looked bleak. She would be gone soon. Then what about him?? She kissed his forehead. “I love you my son and I will always keep you with me, we shall never part”. She still could not believe that she had the courage to make spike the laddoos with poison and fed her only son with it and of course had it herself. She again silently asked GOD for forgiveness!
Kanchana then looked at her husband’s photo as she always did in moments of grief when she wanted his gentle hands on her head telling her not to worry. She got up and lit the lamp. She then went and sat near Ayush, on the easy chair that was once her husband’s. She rested her weary back against the chair.
She looked at Ayush , smiled first , hoping Ayush would see, and then looked at her husband’s photo as she sighed, her final sigh as her eyes rested forever on her husband and Ayush frothed from his mouth as the lamp extinguished !

Love,
Devika

 

Dear Sunitha,

Thankyou so much for the first FB and a one which completely agrees with my thought.I am indeed honoured that you liked my story.
Yes I too feel Sunitha , though a tough decision the mother needed to take an extreme step because she knows there is no substitute for a mother!

Thankyou once again Sunitha

Love,
Devika