The Enigma Of Forgiveness

Well this point is something which is in my mind from quite a lot of time. But end of the day my mind, soul and heart is not ready to forgive and move. Reasons being, its not a day or two that my life was impacted because of others sadism, arrogance, jealousy. I suffered for years together and even today to some extent. All these incidents wipe down my idea of forgiving and moving on. All I can do now is ignoring and moving on. This hell bent attitude of mine doesnt stop me from attending those when in times of need. I can give an give another name to this gesture. Its just that a little bit of humanism present is us. I just dont treat those as my family. its just that a human in me helps them without any emotions.
Yes I agree to the fact that time heals all the wounds and softens ones heart to forgive the other. But when? Does it happen at the right time? I really doubt.
Even I have many issues my IL's to this day. But I have evolved into a person who can deal with the trash and crap that is being given to me, and also into a person who can look straight into the eyes of inlaws and shout at them, if they try to take on me instead of sobbing whole night remembering what has happened again and again.
No doubt situations made me bold and gave me the courage to speak out. But even after years when I see no realisation from the other side I see no point in forgiving them.
My close friend also had IL issues. She has seen the worst. One fine day her MIL was diagnosed by some life threatening disease. She did all she can do. But very soon her MIL passed away. Now after almost 6 years of her MILs death , she realised that she would have forgiven her MIL when she was alive atleast for her own piece of mind and she keeps telling me not to repeat the same mistake what she said.
I am not in a position to take her advice either.