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The Best-Kept Secrets of a Happy Marriage

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by freddycat, Jul 18, 2012.

  1. cutemonster

    cutemonster Platinum IL'ite

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    nice post freedycat
    even i feel and agree what ever points u mentioned are right.
     
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  2. shashiv

    shashiv Gold IL'ite

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    Dear freddycat...

    Nice article... thanks for sharing..



    Shanti
     
  3. freddycat

    freddycat Platinum IL'ite

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    Since I gave toooo much credit to my DH, I have to tell what caused the commotion in our life, as well.

    My DH has very strong personality, controlling/manipulative person. First few years were very tough on me...cried a lot. I felt that he was mocking of my shortcomings and bullying me. I used to follow him every where, too dependent on him. Eventually, gained more confidence in myself, learned to be more independent from him. Viola, it worked. He stepped back from bullying, and became more 'attached' to me. It is the worst, reached to the point of I 'can't breathe' any more. I am still trying to hide/hint/avoid/run away from him, at times. He realized that I like to spend alone time and if I am in my office room means, quite time for me.

    I have a few trump cards, I use now and then (Heh, I did grow up along the way to be manipulative, too)

    1) My parents (have a fall back plan)
    2) Silent treatment (works, shows that I am angry/upset with him)
    3) Emotional independence (learned discipline, it helps me not to get trapped, as I used to be with him)
    4) Flow of 'green' (family inheritance/separate bank account)
    5) My baby boy (his version, dad is always wrong)

    No solution --
    -- From the beginning, DH wouldn't send me alone to my parents house (a tag on, follows me around).
    -- Can't hide from him too long (sweet torture)

    Over the years, I see him more vulnerable/sensitive and dependent on me.....ageing factor? too much of expectation from me? or fear of being left alone? or empty nester syndrome? or simply bored.

    Lately, he is working with friends to retire in the same place/building an array of houses together. Hopefully, he will find more play mates of his own league.
     
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  4. disillusion

    disillusion Senior IL'ite

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    I feel that one point is missing. The couple should respect each other's boundaries. Where boundaries are being broken, there is no chance of a good marriage.
     
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  5. freddycat

    freddycat Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks everyone for your liking of the article. Hope you enjoyed reading it, as much as I did.

    These sort of articles are just a check point to the 'marriage track' and help us to understand, how the rest of world operates. A refreshing point, other wise rather boring routine life.
     
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  6. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear friends,

    All posts with any reference to religion have been deleted. Please refer to the Forum Etiquettes. I quote:

    Since religion had nothing to do with the main topic of the thread, it has been completely expunged.
     
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  7. knbg

    knbg Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Freddycat,
    Once I saw the title in the recent posts, I guessed it would be yours.....and I'm right.......:cheers
    Nicely jotted points......:thumbsup

    I loved all....especially, 'they fight by rules'........:biggrin2::biggrin2::cool2:
     
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  8. freddycat

    freddycat Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks, Bhargavi.
     
  9. sowmyarakesh

    sowmyarakesh Senior IL'ite

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  10. Dhivya5

    Dhivya5 Gold IL'ite

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    Nice article. Thanks for sharing. Only after reading I realized,"Oh my God! so much is happening in our lives!":). After all being married isn't that simple. Is it?:thumbsup
     
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