Tell me if am doing / done wrong…!! In a confused state!!

karuna17 · Sep 11, 2012

Hi everyone,
Am really in a confused state where am unable to decide what I have done is wrong or correct.
Any help in this regard is greatly appreciated!
A big problem in my life is my Mother-in-law.
The thing is we don’t get along very well…she always criticizes me and I don’t like that.
Today happened to be my birthday and once I woke up, she started telling to do something and I was doing that. Mean while, as the milk came to boil, I went to off the stove with the same hand where I was holding rice vessel, she didn’t like that I saw her murmuring something in her lips. (Like kind of scolding/ cribbing).She generally has a habit of saying …pindam , sardham (Telugu words)which are the rituals done when a person is expired.
So, I said,…don’t scold me today. Today is my birthday.
That’s it! She made a blast out of it.
She asked me don’t scold me today means am I daily scolding you, I said ask your heart what it is saying.
For that two sentences, she got so offended and she started creating scene.
My husband was back from walking and asked me what has hapnd..i told wt has hpnd. He also got angry one me. He didn’t scold me as of now, but his face is conveying all the message.
Tell me guys, for how many days, I have to keep quiet?
So, I bursted out. Is it so unfair??
Or did I do something really wrong?
This post may be short, but if you read my earlier one, you will get to know ...

yellowsunflower · Sep 11, 2012

Hi Karuna...

What she said that too on your bday is very bad. And want you did is quite normal act in return. DH's always think either thier wife is to be blamed or they think women always never get along well in this relation as DIL and MIL. All they would want is bliss at home without any problem and cribbing. And will rarely give a helping hand to overcome such a suitation. So dont except much from your DH.

It is better to ignore any such comments from your MIL. It is very very difficult to ignore, when such a thing happens. But i think it is an art to master. But when mastered is very helpful not alone with MIL, but for that matter with anyone. Be all deaf when you hear such kind things.

anuram09 · Sep 11, 2012

Many more happy returns of the day Forget whatever happened today (I know its not easy).You expected your MIL not to say anything that too on your B'day???????????? In normal days itself she enjoys a lot by giving tensions to you. You yourself told that not to scold on a special day,so she has enjoyed double than normal. Ignore her completely.

Priya16 · Sep 11, 2012

Priya16 · Sep 11, 2012

You are not done anything wrong.Just cheer up.Don't expect anything out of your MIL on your birthday.Enjoy your day!!!! Don't even think about what happened at home.

GaythriV · Sep 11, 2012

Many Many Happy Returns of The Day. From today onwards you cultivate the habit of being deaf to her words and don't back answer her. Try to be patient. Time will heal everything.

silvertulip · Sep 11, 2012

Happy Birthday Dear! May God bless u always and also help u in becoming deaf and dumb so that u can ignore her nonsense talks and live ur life happily! :biggrin2: :birthday

soulful · Sep 11, 2012

(Belated) MANY MANY HAPPY RETURNS of the DAY!!!!
:birthday

B'days are meant to be celebrated with our own people. Our loved ones. Those who matter in our lives will never say such stuff, bday or not, and those who say - are not the ones we consider as ours.. so you really can't expect. Let her crib - it affects you only if you take it to heart. IF you don't - it doesn't bother you. Practice this mantra - you will find peace. i know - I did!

shobyseshu · Sep 12, 2012

belated happy birthday,
first thing, they have no right to scold u, nobody gave her that rights.
hereafter try to ignore her talks, try to keep ur mind calm when someone corrupts it
take care

sadwife · Sep 12, 2012

Belated Happy Birthday and Many More Returns of the Day to You.
Just ignore all the small issues.
Don't even bother to show MIL that you are hurt by her words, that's what she exactly wants.
Be extra happy, loving and caring towards your husband infront her, that would irritate her I'm sure.
But at times when she says something that's intolerable then answer back, so that she stays within her limit.