Teen's Academic Stuff - Amma And Dad Telling Their Friends?

@MalStrom you are right.I used to share in and out info about me or family when people ask .One particular friend has this skill to extract tonnes of info from others by asking very basic ques and lead them to open up everytting.Once I wanted a very basic thing from here and she replied no negatively kind of shutting me down and I learned my lesson

 

Yes, it is 100% reasonable request and I always honor my kids' any request.

 

Same thing happens with me.... Everyone wants to know my information, what I do, how I decide etc...but will not share their information... become very closed..

Most of the time it doesnt matter as I'm too busy to care about other people's businesses but a few times when it mattered, I have learnt not to ask them any questions... but of course, they still come back to me mainly because they need my knowledge.... and they sometimes extract the information from me through other means (will ask an indirect question or send their kids or ask my DH or son!)

Reg my son, he is in the age range of the Original Question posted by @Rihana

He will be 17 in a few days... We used to share till now (especially as a career counsellor, I give a lot of examples and I use my son's examples too)

But he has changed his plans over the past year several times ...and I have seen a concern that "we have been telling everyone we want to have a career in MM but now we are planning WW, wont this uncle/aunty/myfriend ask me questions?"
But my DH and I have convinced him that it doesn't matter - what he wants ONLY matters... So, now he is fine... Also, we haven't met enough people in the past year to share anything currently!! Once he expressed his concerns, I have also stopped sharing...

So, if a teen says, "Don't share", I would suggest to please respect their choices as it is a changing phase - they do not want to discuss and answer questions from relatives and friends of their parents!!

One of my students - a basketball player with musical genes was passionate about Physics till he was in 12th... and is now in 1st year, studying Psychology!! Another who desperately wanted to be a brain surgeon is doing PhD, presenting international papers and teaching rural economics!

I totally understand why the teen doesn't want to share his plans to all and sundry... And would hope that every parent also understands this.

 

I think it’s reasonable to not reveal academic plans of teens if they are uncomfortable..
Because at the age of 16 or 17 their interests would keep changing..it’s a confusing age when and they’re trying to discover themselves..and they wouldn’t want intrusive questions and to be nagged by every other person about their academic plans.
I remember when I was 16 or 17, there were a couple of career choices that I was strongly interested in, we spent time and money on coaching classes like all other kids my age, for that career choice.. but by the time I completed 12th standard at the age of 17plus, I realised that that line of career was not suited to my temperament and I should opt for some other course which has subjects of my interest and also make me open to more opportunities in future...
After 12 the standard I opted for a different course...
I actually did not do too well in the entrance exams of my first career choice, but did well in the course and college which I finally joined..
I’m very glad that as per my request my parents didn’t share my academic plans with anyone..
Because they did not want to put unnecessary pressure on me, as they could see other teens my age having breakdowns due to exam stress.
They dint want unnecessary comparisons to be made, as every person is unique .
In case I don’t do well in a particular internship or entrance test or class, there would be awkward questions from other parents , nosy neighbours about my performance , and tough to answer, so better they don’t know..
Also, in India, many parents also tend to be secretive about such info as “Nazar Lag Jayegi”.
One of my classmate would boast to everyone that she doesn’t study at all..
If anyone asks her a doubt in any subject she’s would say she doesn’t know, or has no idea. but in that subject she would get top marks.
But I know how hard working she actually was and how many hours she used to spend on studies daily as I spent more time with her..
But this girl who ”never studies” always scored good marks in all exams.
You guessed right, she dint reveal her study plans or study methods or study durations, she lied so no one will put Nazar on her..