Taking pledge

Hi skavi

Kudos for this thread and your pledge.

If we all, women of this generation take a similar pledge...definitely there will be no dowry in future. I believe that changes will not happen overnight but however slow it is sure to happen. (Don't you think it already has begun, except in few marriages where they demand money and all?)

 

Skavi,
first of all let me salute u for ur initiation to start this thread.:bowdown

Yes i agree with ya, there r many families in our society who still believe that a girl, when born, is a burden for dowry.. In some areas of our country, no matter howmuch ever a family is educated, they still believe in dowry system, be in taking or giving.... not only the dowry issue, a girl in our country is bound to sacrifice her everything when she steps into her husband's family. The effort and sacrifices made by the girl's parents are all thrown to winds once for all in the name of marriage.. Her life (in some cases) becomes miserable as if she is a non-paid maid in the house who needs to tolerate each and every atrocity. Always she is bound to play and fulfil her so called 'responsibilities' towards her husband and inlaws, but set aside her rights which blame a girl to be an arrogant in the society, if used..I dont say that all the girls are same post marriage..There are some women who are lucky enough to lead the same life after marriage too...

World is changing and we too need to change ourselves..Change should come within the person. One should follow "Live and let live" policy.. I believe this life is short..So what ever we r in this world will all be over when once we r dead..So why trouble ourselves and trouble others within this time? Ok, yes, if a girl is married, she ofcourse should see wht all can be done to make her marital life and other families around her 'HAPPY'...but surely not being a coward and timid woman... For this we dont even need to be highly educated or have any of our family support...
We are the architects of our own lives..So when we happy-enjoy it, when we have trouble in life-take necessary measurements to make it good, when it is totally out of the hands -live it to god and carry on with the life...Our parents pour in so much of money to help build our careers.. It is best useful for us when we are all alone left in the pool of problems to rebuild our confidence.. Ofcourse, we are wives and DIL's, but before that we are human beings with many aspirations and ambitions to achieve in life..

My word with all the ladies here who have been 'genuinely' troubled by their husbands and in-law's is, " Fight off against the problem u face with a brave heart. Our patience should not be taken for granted. But this does'nt mean that we always need to have a big mouth to keep such people aloof from us. Live and let live others happily, but when with no fault , u r blamed and put at loss, dont let anyone take charge of ur life...."

Hope i put down whatever i felt genuinely...
Wish u all a wonderful time ahead
Take care of urselves...

 

And Congratulations on your pregnancy...always keep smiling and All The Best For Your Future...

Skavi[/quote]

Thanks for ur wishes sweetie...

 

I do not feel I could be anything better than what I am . I am proud to be a girl. I do not have kids yet. But I will be delighted if I have girls. Slightly more than having a son. But there are no boys in our family so thats the only reason I would want a son. Although I will love him as much as a daughter.
I will definitely not take or give dowry.I will also have my son move out when he turns 25 and live his own independent life.We need to move from our old school thoughts and it can only be done one person/one family at a time. Then why not me.

 

Thank you Skavi. We all have braved some or the other things in our marriages. I do not want to put my kids or their spouses in same position as I was in.Education and the culture we give to our kids shud only make them a well rounded person and not take back to convenient and easy money as dowry just becoz its a custom followed thru generations.

Wishing you too all the happiness .

 

Hi Skavi,

Stand strong against the people you know who still see dowry as "ok." Even where I live too there are people like that... I stay away from them because I think dowry is no small issue. When I hear that a family has taken dowry or tons of "gifts" from brides side I lose all my respect for them. It's ironic that so many Indian families are obsessed with family honor and respect and then go ahead and take dowry. What do they think, people will still respect them after that??? :crazy Maybe people with same mindset, but definitely not those of us who are living in 21st century.

Yes definitely I take this pledge!