Sweety's Diary : A B'lore (Wipro) techie's wife ended her life...Wanna know Why?

Srividya I get your point....

The main culprit here is Husband....I think the anger should be directed towards this guy rather than anybody else including Ramya.... He is the cheat...

This guy had an affair , was not strong enough to appose parents ..was not able to severe ties with old girlfirend and spoiled sweeties life..he deserves the anger not anybody else.

 

why do we always want to exclude the women involved in this whole drama/crime??? why is it only a mans fault??? why not the fault of the OTHER WOMAN too??? if this guy had given the final date for separation etc..that means the OTHER WOMAN agreed to get married to him???? and its right????

Women are equally responsible for all this...

MIL...who spoiled the life of someones daugther
Other woman...who let her bf marry someone and then agreed to marry this guy again if he separates from his newly wed wife
Wife.....who blindly beleived the man even before she got married to him....and she calls it as LOVE.

 

Drk

I dont think Sweetys parents would get any justice in this case...sorry to say that....because the girl knew that her would be was having girl friends....to top it..he told her not to tell anyone!! and that didnt raise any red flags.....the girl is a major...she knew what she was getting into isnt it??

With all sympathies to Sweetys parents......the guy i.e Sikander has already told Sweety that he wants to separate from her..and he gave the final date as per the diary..so what does that say? he was ready to separate legally?? but sweety couldnt take it??

Also why didnt sweety go back to her parents after knowing all this? why didnt the father/brother take her with them saying lets see if the short tim separation brings in any change in the husband??

Sweety was basically in depressed state..nothing was going well in her life....neither the husband nor the job seems to keep her occupied as she was struggling to atleast get a job to keep her mind off of all tehse things...instead of crying etc..if only women could be taught to be bold and live rather than end their life jsut because some crappy guy said NO to them.....its even a huge loss to parents..why do parents hav eto suffer in all this? cant Sweety live atleast for her parents sake?? didnt they love her??when we give imp to some guy more than ourselves and our parents/siblings.....this is what happens if its not reciprocated....ME and MYSELF is always imp than who we live iwth.

 

Srividya...

I would have blamed the other woman also if this all started after marriage...

This girl was involved with this guy before his marriage and may have wanted to marry him...when he gave her an option of getting seperated from wife and marry her..she may have agreed or who know's she severed contacts with him and he was the one pursuing her.

According to law it is not wrong to marry a guy after divorce .. isn't it?

I am in no way condoning her relationship with this guy ..but am thinking we are too judgemental without knowing her side of the story... I am just giving her benefit of doubt because she may have been emotionally involved with this guy as much as sweety was.

 

My thoughts exactly, Srividya. Has education really empowered women? Or is it just a scrap of paper called "degree" and not really an education?

 

This is heart-wrenching. I feel heavy hearted now.

I hope justice is given. May Sweety's soul rest in peace.

 

Marrying a already divorced guy is different than....accepting a man who says he will divorce his wife to get married to her!!(pls lets not call this as love for the man......I will call this as selfishness.....both from the guys end and also from the other womans end...)so in both situations, there is lot of difference and in sweetys case things are really crappy from everyones end..

I pity those women who think, marrying a guy who is ready to divorce his wife is OK!!!! those are the women who will be in similar situation in future...I have no sympathy for such women. I dont support them doesnt matter whether she is still involved in all this or not..but Sweetys dairy does say that the guy was ready to get marreid to the other woman after divorcing sweety....he wanted to celebrate his gfs birthday.....that does make things clear as to where does our dear Ramya stand in all this...if she says no to marrying him and doesnt matter whether he divorces his wife or lives with her..things would have been different...the guy was didnt have a backbone and even this lady ramya doesnt seem to have one!!! no idea how are Ramyas parents dealing with all this as am sure she has to take part of the blame in all this..for being in touch with a married man...marriage has become a joke.

It is even ok to marry a guy who says he has had girl friends....isnt it??/ but what happened in Sweetys case???


Its soo easy to say the guy is at fault....first of all as I said in my previous post, if all the women involved in this guys life have put down their foot, things would have been totally different..he is doing what he can..only because the ladies in his life are allowing him to do crap.


I have been reading several posts....which say this is ok..that is ok...as long as we are not in someones shoes we can just say yeah thats ok.....but NO.....its not.....what might seem ok to us may not be to others or to those who are involved in the situation. ITS NOT OK to be intouch with a married man..doesnt matter whether he was the previous lover or bf or whether he promises to marry her after dumping his wife......where are the values/principles in life?? and these people are no villagers...they seem to hold good position in corporate world...so are we saying, people are lacking the basic values these days???and such people will have kids and raise them??saying yes you can marry 100 times and keep 100 men/women parallely as bf/gfs?

Funny part the MIL on one hand says she ruined her sons life...and on the other hand taunts the DIL for not getting enough dowry and fridge/tv/some stuff??? all twisted minds

 

Vidya and Umalut,

Well, education is different and your upbringing is different. As far as I see, it's the upbringing that molds you to an individual either emotionally weak or strong.Your personal growth over years defines you. Not your physics or chemistry lectures.

Education has nothing to do with it. There is a saying in tamil "aettu suraikkai vazhkaiku uthavathu" -> What you learn from notes never helps in leading your life.


In this case, I don't just blame the guy. Ofcourse he is an @$$, but why these women let him do it? That girl Ramya should be pictured all over bangalore and in media as the co-conspirator in this criminal act. She did know that the guy is married and well she continued with him, didn't she?

What about the girls and the guys parents? They know there is trouble in this marriage. What did they do about it, than patting these kids saying, oh well, pop a baby, everything will work out. Did they initiate something to make the guy know how much of a serious trouble he is in?

I am very sorry for the victim and I can understand her, her dreams being shattered by this pig. A young life lost because of stupidity in all levels.

May her soul rest in peace.

 

Exactly I have been asking the same questions in my last posts...

I still dont understand why the parents didnt take their daughter back to their home after knowing the current status of situation at their daughters inlaws house....???

 

I felt so sad on reading Sweety's story. The poor girl was severely depressed and did not have anyone to help her out of the distress. I don't understand why her parents/brother did not take her away or ask her to stay with them for a few days. They might have at least had a chance to watch over her closely.

I wish women reach out for help--be it anyone--parents, siblings, friends, forums, professionals, just ask for help if you are struggling.

The arranged marriage system in India is pathetic. The parents knew of the gf, and still want their son to get married? What bull. So, they get dowry from Sweety, the son continues his affair, and all this is acceptable in the society??

Death or imprisonment is too mild a punishment for such men. He needs to be ostracized from the society. He needs to be ripped out of his job and the chances of him finding another employment should be zilch/NIL. Then we would really get to see how many Ramya's would want to associate with such a person. For such money minded/status conscious people--it has to hurt where it matters the most to them. Yep, death would be the easy way out.

Another thing which is really bad is how most of us are brought up. Yes, marriage is an important part of life--a very important part. That is how I was raised as well, but it is not your entire life. For some reason if the marriage does not work out, it does not mean you end your life. This needs to be ingrained when raising kids, especially girls. If the marriage ends--the life does not end.

There are days when I think what it is the purpose of my life, why am I alive--I tell myself everyone put on this earth has a purpose. I have not found mine yet, but will do so one of these days. I wish Sweety had waited till she found hers.

May she rest in peace.