surname after marriage

Kamal, It's not a matter of ego: it's a matter of preserving a part of life that is important to us. As for who goes to whose house, newly-married couples are increasingly leaving their parents' home and setting up their own households, maybe for the very reason that forms this thread!
I personally added my husband's surname to my name and kept my maiden name as my middle name. So, on my driver's license, health card etc., I have all three names. In my case, it was pure convenience: my surname is one that has been Anglicized so doesn't even sound the way it is written, and my husband's surname is so much easier to pronounce anyway!

 

I could wait to change my name

I person believe that it has nothing to do with ones's identity .. I have being the same same person with same values ..weather it was married or maiden name.

mil never let's go an opportunity to tell my mom that how great full and proud they are having me as a part of their family... which only talks abt my up bringing in my parents house... which my mom takes pride in. :thumbsup

 

Right after my wedding, my FIL asked me if I was going to change my name. I answered, no, and he said, "good". End of story. My daughter has my husband's last name. We considered adding mine too, but that's just child abuse (not literally). His name is long enough!

Not to be crass, but in ancient times, there may have been a justification to this, like all else in patriarchal societies.

You know, how they say that mother is truth and father is belief? I think this is why traditionally, the father's family name is included in the baby's name. Everyone knows who the mother is, what with pregnancy, and labor, and all, but ONLY the woman knows who the father is. Just my speculation. Insinuating that the father may be anyone else is downright insulting the woman, but since when did ancient patriarchal societies care about women rights?

In this day and age, if anyone so much as insinuates such a thing, they'll probably be dragged to court and slapped with a defamation lawsuit, but origins of various customs get lost in the mists of antiquity. Customs remain, but not the meanings. Like the bride sitting in the father's lap in Tamil weddings - the bride was a little girl back then. And possibly, that was the only way to keep her from running around. Now? See how the custom remains although it is no longer valid and it is decidedly uncomfortable for the father to have a grown-up daughter sitting on his lap?

 

I was ok to change my surname. Nobody asked me to, I just did it. I feel there is nothing wrong in changing it, but it's a personal preference and everyone should decide for themselves.

I know in some parts of India, even first middle and last change, or middle and last change. That is too much for me... I would not want to change my first name AND last. :bonk I would feel like I don't even recognize my name then!

Very interesting idea!

 

hi,

i did not change mine. i love my dad, atleast i want my name to be with his name for my life.

 

I too didnot change my name..I like to be in that way only and I dont want to hurt my Dad ..Whenever somebody ask him about his daughter's name(mine and sisters) he used to tell the initial first with light stress and then only he tells our original name..Eventhough we used to tease him about this I like to known as my father's daughter rather than my husband's wife...

The funny thing is most of the newly wed friend's of mine come to facebook /orkut on the day of marriage or next day of marriage to just change their surname ..I dont know why..May be they feel it as right

 

I seem to be different.
My mother took the surname of my father, I wanted to do it..
So I changed it officially after marriage.

 

I have not changed it too. I believe that's my identity. I have changed a lot after marriage to please DH, IL's, ILs of ILs etc. I can't give up on my surname also! My Husband keeps asking me once in a while for fun! But my FIL in a harsh tone on why I haven't changed my surname. I plainly don't answer. Funniest part is that my MIL still has her maiden name. Never saw my FIL question her!:spin

 

i changed my surname...i am not feeling sorry for it

 

I would have probably changed if the surname is my husband's name. It's not so in AP.