Supreme Court - Kids after 18 need stay permission from parents/ reverse will follow

Re: Supreme Court - Kids after 18 need stay permission from parents/ reverse will fol

Anony
The problem is not about having Western ideas or eastern ideas..the irony is people want
the comforts of eastern style parenting..where the parents fund u for ur education/marriage completely(well into their mid-twenties) and in most cases at the risk of saving up for their retirement ....
but once kids are on their own they want the western style of independence and want the parents to live in old age homes and not have to spend a dime on their maintanence.
How convenient!

U want western style start when u are 18..move out of home..earn ur degrees the hard way..Let parents save up for their old age homes and retirement then we can talk !

 

Re: Supreme Court - Kids after 18 need stay permission from parents/ reverse will fol

All said and done a Mom or MIL is a must for deliveries and child caring, in some cases the DIL was offended as her MIL refused to take care of the baby!
Unless we learn to manage ourselves without rushing to Mom or MIL for help its futile to think of putting them away in old age homes etc.
The latest laws of our land treat both son and DD equal in inheriting property of all types, inherited as well as parents self earned. So a DD can get property from her parents as well as from her PILs, DH through marriage.
Its another story that some brothers and SILs refuse to give the sisters their rightful share.

 

Re: Supreme Court - Kids after 18 need stay permission from parents/ reverse will fol

Satchi as a parent myself..I wonder about the rationale of letting a 18 yr old out on his/her own as much as I wonder about letting a 70 yr old alone in a old age home .Not that people cannot do it or haven't done it in the past. It can be done...but the risk is high and the truth is they are at their most vulnerable then .

 

Re: Supreme Court - Kids after 18 need stay permission from parents/ reverse will fol

Jags has hit the nail on the head, well said!!
We must remember thats its very tough to get higher education on ones own without parents money. In our country the kid is allowed to choose his/her stream while the parents dole out the fees.
Similarly they have to spend a good amount on marriages apart from dowry for DD.
Even love marriages are turned into arranged ones with all ceremonies and gifts being exchanged. Some DDs expect gifts even after marriage and crib if poor parents turn up empty handed at ceremonies.
The DILs of course expect all MILs jewellery as a matter of right as well as other riches.

 

Re: Supreme Court - Kids after 18 need stay permission from parents/ reverse will fol

As always, JAG is on the money, straight up! Very good points, JAG!

There is another category that typically remains unexplored here:

A 20-something guy, who has numerous backlogs, sits at home watching sports, goes out drinking beer, fills up gas and has a bike with his dad's money, and lives his life to the fullest, where the parents bend over backwards to give this kid an education!

Also, there exists a 20-something girl, who has no interest to study or be something in life (whose sole purpose in life is to get married), sits at home not even helping with the household chores, has a cell phone whose monthly bill is half of the parent's income, freaks out shopping and drinking coffee in coffee day, and parents breaking their back!

So this law, atleast in my perspective is for those 20-something boys and girls, who fall back on their aged parents, knowing fully well they can exploit their parent's unconditional love, and end up turning out to be a pain in the wrong place for their parents! Well, though this law is being spoken about in the relationship with in-laws forum, it is more for the changing India and for the youth, who never grow up, and suck out the maximum from their parents - emotionally, financially and physically!

 

Re: Supreme Court - Kids after 18 need stay permission from parents/ reverse will fol

Parvathi...Have u been to any recently? Tried to see what goes on there? How the old people are treated. I am not talking about multi -crore establishments for the rich...the general ones for the middle class.
U should try sometime . I have been to more than one and what I saw I wish upon no one.

 

Re: Supreme Court - Kids after 18 need stay permission from parents/ reverse will fol

Anonymou , Why should it be the west law if not our law?I think any law written after good research and which suits the society is good.Did NCW provide any reason why they see that such an amendment will not help ladies?Just curious.

BTW , Are we right in comparing New adults(children) living with parents and parents living with children?At 18 , the son/daughter would have just started exploring the outside world and they do not control your world.But on the other hand , the elders are totally different.They know what is right and what is wrong and they choose the follow the path which they want.In my opinion , the rule should be different for both.The same rule cannot be applied for the both groups.Anyways the new adult today is an elder tomorrow.

 

Re: Supreme Court - Kids after 18 need stay permission from parents/ reverse will fol

JAG, you are right when you say a child of 18 and people over 60 are at their most vulnerable. It is not the Indian system of staying together that is bad. It is the way the children are mollycoddled without ever being taught to take responsibility for their decisions (certainly a reasonable degree of parental guidance would certainly not be amiss) that is problematic. Right to the age when they are considered marriageable, they are told what to do, when to do, how to do ..... And then once they are married, the parents are probably not yet comfortable with the idea of letting go and feel the need to continue tutoring them on every little nuance of life. That is where the problem starts.

If we could hold on to our culture of having close knit families while allowing every member enough space to breathe, live and grow, we would not ever have to talk of legalities and the like. No denying that we have our strong points and we also have some areas which need major changes.

And as I said here, it is not so simple to pick up a different culture and implant it here simply because it is not so straightforward. The realities of our society are very different from what might be possible in the west.

 

Re: Supreme Court - Kids after 18 need stay permission from parents/ reverse will fol

Hi SSC,

Very rightly said. We need a balance both ways. It is high time our youth is taught to stand up and take responsibility for themselves to whatever extent is reasonably possible.

 

Re: Supreme Court - Kids after 18 need stay permission from parents/ reverse will fol

Well said. This is exactly the irony I wanted to bring out through my post. People are trying to take selectively from east and west, what suits them at their particular stage of life. Even at their particular stage of life, they want all rights and no responsibilities. Big estate of parents/ILs - all good we are eastern, taking care of them - ohh the great western idea of independence.